[02:01.-2]And in case you wondered...
[06:08.-4]All right.
[06:34.-2]-How did you -I don't know.
[07:34.-2]That's fine,I'll just wait.
[09:54.-2]It's Monica's big night. She shouldn't pay.
[10:38.-1]All right,what's going on?
[12:50.-4]So,the Ebola virus. That's gotta suck,huh?
[14:30.-4]I'm just not in a very "Hootie" place right now.
[18:15.-2]What guys? Oh,yeah.
[18:25.-1]Oh,my God! Little Stevie Fisher?
[20:56.-2]And we don't work hard?
[00:07.45]Man,I sure miss Julie.
[00:09.42]Spanish midgets.
[00:11.89]Spanish midgets wrestling....
[00:15.69]Julie! Okay,I see how you got there.
[00:24.54]You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[00:27.54]I'm trying this screening thing.
[00:29.64]If I always answer the phone, people will think I have no life.
[00:33.75]My God! Rodrigo never gets pinned!
[00:36.08]At the sound of the beep, you know what to do.
[00:38.78]Hello. I'm looking for Bob.
[00:40.92]This is Jade.
[00:42.42]I don 't know if you 're still at this number,but I was thinking...
[00:46.56]...about how great it was. I know it's been three years... …
[00:50.10]...but I was hoping we could hook up again. …
[00:52.66]I barely had the nerve to make this call...
[00:55.93]-...so you know what I did? -What? …
[00:58.34]I got a little drunk...
[01:00.51]...and naked. …
[01:01.74]Bob here!
[01:51.62]So what have you been up to?
[01:54.26]Oh,you know,the usual.
[01:56.16]Teaching aerobics...
[01:58.36]...partying way too much. …
[02:02.87]... those are my legs on the new James Bond poster. …
[02:09.84]Can you hold on? I have another call.
[02:12.44]-I love her! -I know.
[02:15.55]-I'm back. -So are we gonna get together?
[02:18.68]Absolutely.
[02:20.35]How about tomorrow afternoon?
[02:22.15]Do you know Central Perk? Say,five-ish?
[02:25.06]Great. I'll see you then.
[02:31.63]Having a phone has finally paid off.
[02:36.17]You do a good Bob impression...
[02:38.64]... but when she sees you tomorrow... …
[02:40.54]...she's gonna realize you're not Bob. …
[02:44.81]I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up...
[02:47.75]...she'll seek comfort in the arms of the stranger at the next table. …
[02:51.85]Oh,my God. You are pure evil.
[02:55.92]Okay,pure evil...
[02:58.36]... horny and alone. …
[03:02.93]I've done this.
[03:10.87]Yeah,everybody's here.
[03:13.67]Hey,everybody! Say hi to Julie in New Mexico!
[03:17.58]Hi,Julie.
[03:21.08]While Ross is on the phone...
[03:23.11]...everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday. …
[03:26.35]Is there any chance that you're rounding up from...
[03:31.52]...you know... …
[03:32.52]...from like 20? …
[03:35.19]Hey,we got the gift, the concert and the cake.
[03:38.30]Do we need a cake?
[03:41.70]I know it's a little steep.
[03:46.40]But it's Ross.
[03:49.37]It's Ross.
[03:52.41]See you later. I gotta go...
[03:54.28]...do a thing! …
[03:57.28]Okay,sweetheart, I'll call you later.
[03:59.72]You're not going through with this,are you?
[04:02.59]You know,I think I might just.
[04:07.26]What are you guys doing for dinner tonight?
[04:11.30]Well,I gotta start saving up for Ross' birthday.
[04:15.23]I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
[04:18.47]Can you believe how much this costs?
[04:21.31]Do you guys ever get the feeling that...
[04:24.48]... Chandler and those guys... …
[04:26.44]...don't get that we don't make that much money? …
[04:30.82]They always say let's go here,let's go there.
[04:33.82]Like we can afford to go here and there.
[04:37.19]Yes,and we always have to go to, you know,someplace nice.
[04:41.59]And we can't say anything about it, because this is a birthday thing...
[04:46.66]...and it's "for Ross." …
[04:48.27]For Ross.
[04:52.44]Oh,my God!
[04:55.14]I'm at work...
[04:57.14]...just an ordinary day, chop,chop,saute,saute. …
[05:01.21]Suddenly,Leon,the manager, calls me into his office.
[05:04.52]They fired the lunch chef, and guess who got the job?
[05:07.72]If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
[05:11.89]Fortunately,it is me.
[05:14.19]And they made me head of purchasing, thank you!
[05:16.89]That's so cool!
[05:19.03]Anyway,I think we should go out and celebrate.
[05:22.13]You know,someplace nice.
[05:29.67]Someplace nice.
[05:31.58]How much you think I can get for my kidney?
[05:41.05]You can't do this.
[05:43.52]I can't get a girl like that with conventional methods.
[05:47.09]It doesn't matter.
[05:48.26]She wanted to call Bob. Bob could be who she was meant to be with.
[05:53.40]You may be destroying their chance for happiness.
[05:56.57]We don't know Bob.
[05:59.07]We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.
[06:03.88]Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
[06:10.62]Go.
[06:22.69]Listen,I have to....
[06:24.86]I have to confess something.
[06:27.27]Yes?
[06:30.60]Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
[06:38.28]I just had this weird sense. But that's me,I'm weird and sensitive.
[06:45.62]Tissue?
[06:47.89]Thanks.
[06:50.29]No,you keep the pack.
[06:52.82]I'm all cried out today.
[07:10.31]Here is to my sister, the newly appointed head lunch chef.
[07:13.91]Also in charge of purchasing.
[07:16.08]Head lunch chef, also in charge of purchasing
[07:19.25]Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
[07:23.19]Lunch chef,purchasing,own little desk when Roland's not there...
[07:27.33]-... here's to my -Wait! And I got a beeper!
[07:36.13]Sorry.
[07:39.17]Monica!
[07:43.11]Are we ready to order?
[07:44.68]We haven't even looked yet.
[07:46.54]When you do,let me know.
[07:48.38]I'll be over there on the edge of my seat.
[07:56.72]Look at these prices!
[07:58.49]Yeah,these are pretty "cha-ching."
[08:02.19]I know! What are these, famous chickens?
[08:06.46]Sorry I'm late. Congratulations,Mon.
[08:09.30]I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
[08:13.40]Pretty incredible,according to the message on my machine.
[08:17.71]Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
[08:22.15]I told her that my number was yours...
[08:24.25]... because I couldn't tell her it was mine... …
[08:26.52]... because she thinks my number is Bob's number. …
[08:30.72]Tell me again. What do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
[08:35.89]Do I dare ask?
[08:37.23]I'll start with the carpaccio, and then the grilled prawns.
[08:40.87]Great,same for me.
[08:42.83]And for the gentleman?
[08:44.44]I'll have the Thai chicken pizza.
[08:46.27]But if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff...
[08:49.61]...is it cheaper? …
[08:51.78]You'd think,wouldn't you?
[08:56.61]I will have the side salad.
[09:00.25]And what would that be on the side of?
[09:03.45]I don't know.
[09:04.56]Just put it right here next to my water.
[09:10.26]And for you?
[09:12.43]I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup and...
[09:19.77]...take care. …
[09:24.08]I will have the Cajun catfish.
[09:26.41]Anything else?
[09:27.45]Yes,how about a verse of "Killing Me Softly"?
[09:32.28]You're gonna sneeze in my fish,aren't you?
[09:40.66]Plus tip,divided by six....
[09:44.46]Everyone owes 28 bucks.
[09:48.13]Everyone?
[09:50.33]Oh! You're right,I'm sorry.
[09:52.94]Thank you.
[09:58.11]So five of us is...
[10:00.81]...33. 50 a piece. …
[10:02.75]No. No way. Sorry,not gonna happen.
[10:06.48]Prom night flashback.
[10:10.49]Sorry,Monica. I'm happy you got promoted...
[10:13.49]... but cold cucumber mush for 30-something bucks? …
[10:16.93]No!
[10:19.33]Rachel just had that little salad...
[10:22.03]...and Joey with his teeny pizza! …
[10:25.94]Okay,Pheebs.
[10:28.11]How about we'll each pay for what we had?
[10:31.01]It's no big deal.
[10:32.54]Not for you.
[10:40.48]I don't wanna get into this right now.
[10:42.82]It'll make everybody uncomfortable.
[10:47.53]You can tell us.
[10:48.73]Yeah,hello? It's us. We'll be fine.
[10:59.34]We three...
[11:00.54]...feel like that... …
[11:03.01]...sometimes you guys don't get that.... …
[11:13.85]We don't have as much money as you.
[11:21.53]I hear you.
[11:23.23]We can talk about that.
[11:26.26]Well,then...
[11:29.27]...Iet's. …
[11:34.21]I guess I just never think of money as an issue.
[11:37.71]-Because you have it. -Good point!
[11:42.21]So how come you guys haven't talked about this before?
[11:46.18]Because it's always something. Like with Monica's new job...
[11:50.12]...or the whole Ross' birthday hoopla. …
[11:54.69]I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative....
[11:59.46]There's gonna be a hoopla?
[12:03.90]Basically there's the thing, and then the stuff after the thing
[12:09.21]If it makes anybody feel better, forget the thing...
[12:12.31]...and we'll just do the gift. …
[12:14.61]Gift? The thing's not the gift?
[12:18.22]No,we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish.
[12:21.22]Hootie and the “
[12:22.89]I can catch them on the radio.
[12:26.16]No. Now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
[12:29.59]No,look. It's my birthday...
[12:32.16]...and the important thing is that we're all together. …
[12:35.57]-All of us. -Together.
[12:36.77]Not at the concert.
[12:41.51]Thank you.
[12:58.00]Gee,Monica. What's in the bag?
[13:00.09]I don't know,Chandler. Let's take a look.
[13:02.83]Oh,it's like a skit.
[13:06.36]Why,it's dinner for six. Five steaks...
[13:09.37]...and an eggplant for Phoebe. …
[13:13.84]We switched suppliers at work,and they gave me the steaks as a thank-you.
[13:17.94]But wait,there's more. Chandler,what is in that envelope?
[13:24.12]By the way,this didn't seem so dorky out in the hall.
[13:28.45]Why,it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish!
[13:34.46]The Blowfish!
[13:37.90]It's on us. So don't worry. This is...
[13:40.73]...our treat. …
[13:43.37]Thank you.
[13:47.40]Could you be less enthused?
[13:49.37]Look,it's a nice gesture. It is.
[13:52.04]But it just feels like....
[13:54.38]Like?
[13:56.08]Charity.
[13:57.15]Charity?
[13:58.52]We're just trying to do a nice thing here.
[14:01.05]But you have to understand,your "nice thing" makes us feel about this big.
[14:05.39]Actually,it makes us feel that big.
[14:11.40]I don't understand. We can't win with you guys.
[14:14.40]If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault.
[14:17.70]Maybe that's just how you feel.
[14:22.44]Now you're telling us how we feel.
[14:25.41]We never should have talked about this.
[14:27.61]I'm gonna pass on the concert.
[14:35.92]-Me neither. -Me too.
[14:38.09]Guys,we bought the tickets.
[14:40.42]Then you'll have extra seats for all your tiaras and stuff.
[14:45.23]Why did you look at me when you said that?
[14:51.87]So I guess now we can't go.
[14:53.87]Do what you want. Do we always have to do everything together?
[14:59.24]You know what? You're right.
[15:01.45]Fine.
[15:06.42]All right.
[15:08.62]We're gonna go.
[15:15.46]It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
[15:30.41]Are you ready?
[15:31.81]Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
[15:37.35]What? You had sex today?
[15:40.02]It sounds even cooler when somebody else says it!
[15:44.42]I was awesome. She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
[15:50.13]I know it's been a while, but I took that as a good sign.
[15:58.84]Still doing the screening?
[16:00.84]I had sex today.
[16:03.44]I never have to answer that phone again.
[16:06.64]At the sound of the beep, you know what to do.
[16:09.48]Hey,Bob. It's Jade.
[16:11.05]I wanted to tell you I was really hurt when you didn 't show up yesterday.
[16:15.15]And just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
[16:20.46]Bob here.
[16:23.56]So you met someone,huh?
[16:25.90]Yes,I did.
[16:27.63]In fact,I had sex with him two hours ago.
[16:34.81]So how was he?
[16:46.92]Oh,Bob,he was nothing compared to you.
[16:53.49]I bit my lip to keep from screaming your name.
[16:59.16]Well,that makes me feel so good.
[17:02.57]It was just so awkward and bumpy.
[17:07.10]Maybe he had some kind of new style that you're not familiar with.
[17:12.24]You have to get used to it.
[17:13.91]There wasn 't much time to get used to it...
[17:16.45]...if you know what I mean. …
[17:28.46]You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
[17:31.60]I know. It's my birthday. We all should be here.
[17:35.60]So let's go.
[17:43.64]Well,maybe we should stay for one song.
[17:46.24]It would be rude to them for us to leave now.
[17:49.31]The guys are probably having a great time.
[17:55.62]Come on,you guys. One more time.
[17:59.72]One. —
[18:11.57]-Amazing! -Excellent!
[18:13.07]I can't believe the guys missed it!
[18:18.78]Excuse me. Aren't you Monica Geller?
[18:21.68]-Do I know you? -You were my baby-sitter!
[18:27.45]How have you been?
[18:29.19]Good. I'm a lawyer now.
[18:31.46]You can't be a lawyer. You're 8.
[18:34.29]It was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage.
[18:36.93]Wait,backstage?
[18:38.30]My firm represents the band.
[18:43.77]You guys wanna meet the group?
[18:46.50]Come on.
[18:47.54]Are you one of the ones that fooled around with my Dad?
[18:56.38]Hey,you guys!
[18:57.45]Happy birthday!
[18:58.55]Oh,thank you.
[19:03.35]How was your night last night?
[19:05.69]Oh,well,it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
[19:09.46]Ours pretty much sucked too.
[19:11.36]But I ran into Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
[19:14.00]Oh,yeah! I used to baby-sit him.
[19:16.33]Hey,how's his dad?
[19:20.07]Good.
[19:21.67]Aside from that,the evening was pretty much a bust.
[19:25.14]Yeah,we really missed you guys.
[19:28.25]Yeah,we were just saying, this whole thing is so stupid.
[19:32.22]We just have to really,really not let stuff like money,get like
[19:37.75]Is that a hickey?
[19:41.06]Oh,no,I just....
[19:43.00]I fell down.
[19:46.93]On someone's lips?
[19:50.10]Where'd you get the hickey?
[19:52.00]You know,a party or
[19:53.50]What party?
[19:54.51]It wasn't a party so much as a...
[19:57.34]...a gathering of people. …
[20:00.61]With food and music and...
[20:03.05]...and the band. …
[20:06.08]You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
[20:08.45]Yes. Apparently,Stevie and Hootie are like this.
[20:12.76]Who gave you that hickey?
[20:15.13]That would be the work of a Blowfish.
[20:20.63]I can't believe it! I can't believe this!
[20:23.63]We're just sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers...
[20:30.77]...and you're partying and having fun and all:
[20:33.61]"Hey,Blowfish,suck on my neck!" “
[20:39.42]Don't blame us. You could've been there.
[20:42.22]What? As part of your "poor friends outreach program"?
[20:47.06]Oh,great. It's work.
[20:48.56]I don't know what to say. I'm sorry we make more than you.
[20:52.43]But we're not gonna feel guilty. We work really hard.
[20:57.63]It's Monica. I got a page.
[20:59.47]It's just that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
[21:03.67]And you feel like we hold you back.
[21:11.75]Leon,wait.
[21:13.02]Guys!
[21:14.79]I don't understand.
[21:16.12]The steaks were a gift from the meat vendor.
[21:18.52]That was not a kickback.
[21:20.76]I'll just replace them, and we can forget the whole thing.
[21:27.10]What corporate policy?
[21:42.61]I just got fired.
[21:50.19]Here's your check. That'll be $4. 1 2.
[21:52.52]Let me get that.
[21:57.66]You got 5 bucks?
[22:08.84]Here comes the beep. You know what to do.
[22:12.24]Hi,it's me.
[22:17.45]Listen,Bob. I'm probably way out of line here.
[22:20.75]It's been three years,and you 're probably seeing someone else now...
[22:24.79]...but if we could have one night together,for old time 's sake.... …
[22:28.86]One hot,steamy,wild night....