[00:35.-1]And I'm not sure we are.
[02:20.-4]I'm sorry. I didn't know.
[04:20.-2]No,no,not a party.
[04:36.-4]This isn't your first surprise party,is it,sir?
[05:59.-2]-What? -lt will be like we're gal pals.
[07:11.-1]Okay,that's Ross. All right.
[07:14.-1]Okay,they're coming.
[08:13.-2]Weird.
[10:03.-4]When you're not using the markers, put the caps back on them...
[10:40.-1]... but I've noticed some of you are just placing them on. …
[10:51.-3]Gunther!
[11:21.-3]When I do,walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
[11:43.-4]I know.
[11:52.-3]I have been in the bathroom.
[14:48.-2]Thank you.
[15:30.-2]Everything you've heard is true.
[17:35.-2]I'll be skins!
[18:14.-2]How did you get through this?
[22:07.-2]Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun.
[22:21.-1]Okay,I've got one.
[00:07.72]So,I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth.
[00:10.56]And since it's Rachel's birthday...
[00:12.89]...I thought I'd poach a salmon. …
[00:15.93]What?
[00:17.00]Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things?
[00:21.33]You want to be on the food committee?
[00:23.13]Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees?
[00:26.64]Why can't we just get pizza and beer and have fun?
[00:30.68]I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside.
[00:38.12]You don't want it to be special?
[00:40.65]Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
[00:43.46]Joey,they're not real!
[00:47.36]I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They're fake.
[00:50.83]See? Honk,honk!
[00:53.83]Wow,it's like porno for clowns!
[00:58.64]The One With Two Parties
[01:47.05]Neither of Rachel's sisters can come.
[01:50.12]I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
[01:54.73]No Shannon Cooper.
[01:56.16]Why not her?
[01:57.73]Because she....
[01:58.83]She steals stuff.
[02:03.07]Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back.
[02:09.94]Joey,that is horrible.
[02:11.78]Hey,I liked her.
[02:13.24]Maybe too much.
[02:14.81]I don't know.
[02:16.58]I guess I just got scared.
[02:22.79]I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!
[02:27.03]Hi,honey. How did it go?
[02:28.66]It was the graduation from hell.
[02:30.83]My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
[02:35.03]It's supposed to be a joyous occasion.
[02:37.60]Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college.
[02:41.14]It's a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica.
[02:46.21]What happened?
[02:47.31]My parents happened.
[02:48.68]All they had to do was sit in the same stadium,smile...
[02:51.88]...and not talk about the divorce. But no! …
[02:55.29]They got into a fight during the commencement address.
[02:58.12]Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them.
[03:04.46]You know the good news?
[03:06.03]I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.
[03:10.80]I guess we don't invite her parents.
[03:13.30]-How about just her mom? -Why her mom?
[03:16.17]Because I already invited her.
[03:18.68]Did you ask Stacy Roth?
[03:20.88]Can't invite her.
[03:25.05]She also steals.
[03:33.22]Here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake?
[03:36.33]We're not having birthday cake.
[03:38.50]We're having birthday flan.
[03:42.57]Excuse me?
[03:43.74]It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
[03:45.90]That's nice.
[03:47.51]Happy birthday,Rachel. Here's some goo!
[03:57.02]Dr. Greene!
[03:58.85]Oh,my God! It's Rachel's dad.
[04:03.35]Why are you here?
[04:04.89]The father can't see the daughter on her birthday?
[04:07.79]No,no,the father can.
[04:09.86]But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here.
[04:13.87]And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye.
[04:17.27]You're having a party.
[04:22.21]Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows.
[04:25.54]-This is Phoebe,Chandler and Joey. -I'll never remember all that.
[04:29.78]So what's the deal?
[04:32.08]Rachel comes home,people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
[04:42.33]Hi,Monica.
[04:46.93]The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
[04:50.10]So basically,just a Chinese guy.
[04:54.47]Dr. Greene,come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
[05:01.35]All right. That sounds like a two-person job.
[05:07.82]Well,my goodness! What was that?
[05:10.36]Sandra,I thought you were Rachel. We weren't ready for you yet.
[05:14.19]-You thought I was Rachel? -Yes,because you look so young.
[05:18.20]And because you're both, you know,white women.
[05:23.50]Oh,I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom?
[05:30.14]-No,I'll take that for you. -Oh,well,thank you.
[05:33.51]Such a gentleman. Thank you.
[05:38.85]It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons.
[05:43.72]Oh,the funniest thing happened to me on the way here.
[05:47.49]-I was driving -That's great!
[05:53.20]I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom.
[05:56.80]Hey,come with me.
[06:01.47]You know,like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on.
[06:10.21]Oh,my God. Oh,my God. Oh,my God!
[06:12.25]Think. Think.
[06:14.00]What would Jack and Chrissy do?
[06:18.09]Okay,now that your coat is safely in the bed
[06:21.76]We can come back out in the living room.
[06:24.36]Joey and Chandler,it's time you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
[06:28.87]Yes,absolutely.
[06:32.17]Why,again?
[06:34.41]Because that's where the party is,you goon!
[06:38.61]-See,this is just the staging area. -Right,it's the staging area.
[06:42.71]This is clearly in the wrong apartment.
[06:50.86]All right,you guys are off to party number one.
[06:55.86]And you....
[06:57.76]You are off to party number two.
[07:00.80]All right,let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving.
[07:06.24]At least send some women to my party.
[07:22.65]Thank you for such a wonderful dinner.
[07:25.56]Thanks for being born.
[07:27.63]Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect.
[07:30.90]I love you.
[07:32.90]Now,you can exchange them if you want,okay?
[07:36.73]Now I love you even more.
[07:44.31]Surprise!
[07:46.08]Oh,my gosh!
[07:47.81]Wow!
[07:49.91]Oh,my God. Mom!
[07:51.78]This is so great!
[07:53.48]Happy birthday,sweetie.
[07:57.09]You! I had no idea!
[07:59.92]-Really? -No,I knew.
[08:01.36]All right.
[08:03.63]There's food and drinks on the table.
[08:06.20]Go across the hall. Right now,Joey and Chandler's.
[08:09.03]-Why? -Just go.
[08:14.17]Surprise!
[08:18.81]Happy birthday,sweet pea.
[08:21.18]Daddy!
[08:27.55]Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here?
[08:30.79]Well,we could count again?
[08:33.86]I can't believe this!
[08:35.39]You know,this is ridiculous.
[08:37.20]This is your birthday,your party.
[08:39.66]Let's put them together. If they can't deal with it,who cares?
[08:43.07]-I do. -That's who.
[08:47.04]Are you gonna be okay?
[08:48.57]I don't really have a choice. I can look at the bright side.
[08:52.64]I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
[08:55.75]Well,actually...
[08:57.55]...just one birthday flan. …
[09:02.82]It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
[09:05.82]Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee.
[09:15.23]Some girl just walked up to me and said,"I want you,Dennis"...
[09:19.00]...and stuck her tongue down my throat. …
[09:21.84]I love this party!
[09:24.28]-Quick volleyball question. -Volleyball.
[09:26.61]We set up a court in your room.
[09:28.78]You didn't like that gray lamp,did you?
[09:32.38]A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you.
[09:37.05]-Dennis! -Okay,that's me.
[09:41.19]Can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while.
[09:45.40]Do you have any ideas for any openers?
[09:48.73]Stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"...
[09:52.07]...and you should be okay. …
[09:56.27]I want you to take a piece of paper
[09:58.48]Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory.
[10:07.65]... because they will dry out. …
[10:10.66]Hi,Dr. Greene.
[10:13.79]So how's everything in the...
[10:16.83]...vascular surgery... …
[10:19.30]...game? …
[10:21.47]It's not a game,Ross. A woman died on my table today.
[10:25.50]I'm sorry.
[10:28.81]That's the good thing about my job.
[10:31.24]All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
[10:37.15]Listen,I don't mean to be a pain about this...
[10:43.32]You want to push the caps...
[10:47.12]... until you hear them click. …
[10:52.00]Where you going?
[10:53.16]I was sort of thinking about maybe
[10:56.10]No! No,you can't go! No,this is fun.
[10:59.37]We're just starting. Here's your marker.
[11:05.11]If you want to go,just go.
[11:08.11]She'll yell at me again.
[11:13.38]All right,I can get you out.
[11:15.45]What?
[11:18.22]In a minute,I'll create a diversion.
[11:25.66]-I think I need a drink. -I'll get it for you.
[11:28.87]-What do you want? -Scotch.
[11:31.07]I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
[11:35.71]Neat!
[11:37.21]Cool.
[11:39.24]Neat,as in no rocks.
[11:47.85]Hello,Ross! Where have you been?
[11:55.86]Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
[12:02.83]Scotch neat.
[12:04.94]That's Rachel's father's drink.
[12:09.04]Mine too. Isn't that neat?
[12:12.31]Scotch neat.
[12:16.68]Would you excuse me?
[12:24.86]Where are you sneaking off to,mister?
[12:28.53]I'm getting my cigarettes.
[12:30.36]No.
[12:31.50]What do you mean "no"?
[12:33.53]See,because that's the staging area.
[12:36.07]You go in there,it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party.
[12:40.74]Take your scotch back in there...
[12:43.01]...and I will get your cigarettes for you,sir. …
[12:46.71]-Get my glasses too. -All righty-roo.
[12:53.38]What a great moment to say that for the first time.
[12:59.82]Okay,the first person's most embarrassing memory is...
[13:04.43]... "Monica,your party sucks." …“
[13:07.60]Very funny.
[13:09.57]Oh,no! Did someone forget to use a coaster?
[13:13.07]What?
[13:21.41]I don't see anything.
[13:23.71]Great,I'm seeing water rings again.
[13:29.35]Ross,whose glasses are those?
[13:32.69]Mine.
[13:35.53]You wear bifocals?
[13:39.13]I have a condition apparently...
[13:42.40]...that I require... …
[13:45.74]...two different sets of focals. …
[13:49.07]Do you know my husband has glasses just like that?
[13:52.71]Well,those are very popular frames.
[13:55.65]Neil Sedaka wears them.
[14:00.72]I hear you can get people out of here.
[14:07.29]You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes.
[14:10.73]Yeah,like a chimney.
[14:13.90]Big smoker.
[14:16.67]Big,big smoker.
[14:18.74]In fact,I'm gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy.
[14:36.49]Are you wearing my glasses?
[14:39.52]Yes.
[14:43.16]I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
[14:51.54]Is that one of my cigarettes?
[15:00.04]Yes,it is. I was just moistening the tip.
[15:05.88]She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here.
[15:09.55]But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute.
[15:12.16]What about my friend?
[15:13.29]Only the three of you. Any more and she'll get suspicious.
[15:17.03]-Let me just get my coat. -There isn't time!
[15:22.07]Just leave everything.
[15:24.00]They'll take care of you next door.
[15:26.87]Is it true they have beer?
[15:33.18]Could you guys please keep it down?
[15:35.75]We're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
[15:43.69]You!
[15:44.76]And you.
[15:46.09]You're supposed to be at my party.
[15:48.26]And Gunther!
[15:54.70]What are you doing here?
[16:00.24]Welcome to the fo
[16:06.08]All right,I'm sorry. But these people needed me.
[16:09.21]They work hard all week. It's Saturday night.
[16:11.72]They deserve to have a little fun. Go!
[16:15.19]You know,my party is fun.
[16:17.22]It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun.
[16:20.06]But if people would just give it a chance,it's
[16:27.46]-You want me to see a therapist? -Sweetheart,you have a problem.
[16:32.24]You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.
[16:36.77]Okay,Mom,I'll make an appointment.
[16:39.38]But right now,I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing.
[16:42.78]Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees?
[16:48.05]I felt like Gulliver.
[16:50.82]Daddy,I really want to hear more about this...
[16:53.92]...but I just have to do some stuff. …
[16:57.29]You work and you work and you work at a marriage...
[17:00.50]... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. …
[17:03.17]You work and you work and you work on a boat.
[17:06.17]He always ridiculed my pottery classes.
[17:09.31]And you sand it and varnish it.
[17:11.48]But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
[17:15.31]One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County....
[17:18.58]-The scotch,the cigarettes.... - The bonsais and the Chihuahua....
[17:21.59]I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but
[17:24.12]What the hell does she want with half a boat?
[17:30.46]Okay,okay,you can be shirts and I'll be skins.
[17:43.54]How you holding up there,tiger?
[17:47.51]Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced,I got a lot of "tigers."
[17:52.22]I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports."
[17:56.00]I even got a "governor."
[17:59.72]This is it,isn't it? This is what my life will be like.
[18:03.49]My mom there,my dad there.
[18:05.86]Thanksgiving,Christmas.
[18:08.57]She gets the house,he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker.
[18:18.38]I relied on a carefully regimented program...
[18:21.55]...of denial... …
[18:24.01]...and wetting the bed. …
[18:28.72]You know,I just It's so weird.
[18:31.32]I mean,I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other.
[18:36.19]All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July.
[18:40.60]Because it reminded you of the way...
[18:42.73]...our forefathers used to bitch at each other? …
[18:46.34]It's just this thing. Every year we would...
[18:49.24]...go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. …
[18:52.54]Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big.
[18:56.78]My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side...
[19:00.28]...and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. …
[19:03.22]And when we did help,he'd scream at us for doing it wrong.
[19:09.56]But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up.
[19:14.30]You know,and it'd get really cold.
[19:16.80]And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket.
[19:20.70]It never occurred to anybody to bring another one.
[19:25.54]And now it's....
[19:30.71]Yeah,I know.
[19:55.44]Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun.
[19:57.84]All right,I'm hitting the road.
[20:00.08]Now,I've left my 10 verbs on the table.
[20:03.18]Be sure and send me that finished poem.
[20:05.75]Okay,will do. Glad you came.
[20:07.92]-I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. -Let me go check.
[20:13.69]Your mom wants to say goodbye.
[20:15.93]Happy birthday,sweetie.
[20:21.10]You drive safe.
[20:23.93]What are you doing?
[20:26.67]I'm getting ready for the water skiing.
[20:30.27]Okay,big hug. One more. Come on!
[20:35.55]How are you?
[20:39.12]-Where are you going? -To get my coat.
[20:41.32]We'll get that for you.
[20:43.00]All right,all right. I can get my own coat.
[20:53.73]Sorry,we're on a major flan high.
[20:59.04]Oh,no. No,you're not supposed to be here.
[21:02.04]This is the staging area. It's all wrong. You should leave.
[21:06.08]You know,just get out.
[21:17.32]Or perhaps you'd like a creme de menthe.
[21:21.16]I have to be heading toward my chateau.
[21:23.53]I guess we're going back into the hallway again.
[21:26.56]Thanks for coming,Mrs. Greene.
[21:41.35]You take care.
[21:46.38]Oh,you kids.
[21:50.89]Well.
[21:53.46]This is the best party I've been to in years.
[21:57.56]Thank you!
[22:04.57]Okay,everybody, it's time for flan!
[22:11.31]Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection.
[22:14.91]Okay,that's enough.
[22:16.91]Okay,Rachel, make a special flan wish.
[22:26.89]Heads up!
[22:30.03]Wow! Those things almost never come true.