[00:03.75]- Hey Joey,how'd the audition go? - Incredible!
[00:06.22]I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
[00:09.02]- Who? - All right. I'll give you one hint.
[00:12.29]Warren Beatty.
[00:15.76]Yeah,there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem.
[00:19.30]See,I,uh,had to kiss this guy.
[00:21.87]'Cause he was just so darn cute.
[00:29.47]Well,hey. You're an actor,I say you just suck it up and do it.
[00:37.85]Or you just do it.
[00:40.42]I did do it,I'm a professional.
[00:42.32]Then what's the problem?
[00:43.39]See after the scene,Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says
[00:46.56]'good actor,bad kisser'. “
[00:49.13]Can you believe that,me not a good kisser,
[00:52.60]that's like,like Mother Theresa,not a good mother.
[00:58.44]Well,come on,who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh.
[01:07.61]The One With Barry And Mindy's Wedding
[01:15.87]
[01:56.86]Hey,what did your agent say?
[01:58.53]Yep,this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday.
[02:04.04]Man,I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong.
[02:06.67]Oh,okay,one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
[02:09.74]- What,forget it! - Yeah,right.
[02:12.21]Come on,I need your help here.
[02:14.35]All right. I'll do it,I kissed him before I can do it again.
[02:18.25]You see this,this is a friend.
[02:20.69]Uh-huh,let's go.
[02:22.52]Oh,wait I have gum.
[02:25.76]Okay.
[02:35.40]Good,very good,firm but tender.
[02:38.07]I'd recommend you to a friend.
[02:41.67]Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
[02:43.81]Joey,you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men,
[02:46.38]maybe you just tensed up a little,
[02:48.65]maybe that's what you need to work on.
[02:50.72]Yeah,that makes sense.
[02:57.89]Over my dead body!
[03:03.29]And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
[03:10.77]Come on out,honey! I'm telling you look good!
[03:13.91]Tell her she looks good,tell her she looks good.
[03:22.31]Oh my God,
[03:26.45]you look so good!
[03:29.82]I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people
[03:34.13]looking like something you drink when your nauseous. …
[03:38.30]So don't,I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
[03:43.60]Because I promised Mindy I would.
[03:45.87]Yeah,well you promised Barry,you'd marry him.
[03:50.74]Look you guys,I have to go,I'm the Maid-of-Honor.
[03:53.84]And besides you know what I just need
[03:56.15]to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
[04:08.43]Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
[04:12.43]- I may have. - Woo-hoo,stuud!
[04:16.37]- What's she look like? - Well,we haven't exactly met,
[04:18.64]we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
[04:22.31]Woo-hoo,geeek!
[04:24.94]I like this girl,okay, I seriously like this girl,
[04:28.11]you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
[04:31.85]
[04:34.12]Well she totally called me on it,okay. She said,'cut it out,get real',
[04:39.36]and I did.
[04:42.56]Wow! What's that like?
[04:45.70]It's like this,
[04:47.16]me,no jokes.
[04:50.64]All right,stop it,you're freaking me out.
[04:57.17]- All right,I'll see you guys later. - Bye,Richard.
[05:01.05]Bye sweetie,
[05:02.48]- I love you. - I love you,too.
[05:12.12]I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy,
[05:16.03]I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
[05:19.73]What are you talking about? What wedding?
[05:22.17]Come on,like you never talk about that.
[05:24.44]Nooo! Never!
[05:26.50]I mean,we're living in the moment.
[05:28.91]God,it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
[05:33.28]- Afraid to ask him? - Could not be more terrified.
[05:36.65]Well,I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing,
[05:39.58]give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
[05:47.73]Where's Benny?
[05:49.23]There he is!
[05:50.76]Where's Benny,
[05:53.03]there he is.
[05:57.17]Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk,
[05:59.50]so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
[06:03.84]Hey,you know I got a question for you. Just a little thing,no pressure.
[06:08.48]Okay.
[06:10.85]Did you ever,uh,like,think about the future?
[06:15.42]Sure I do.
[06:17.72]Yeah,am I in it?
[06:19.79]Honey,you are it.
[06:23.46]Oh God,you are about to get sooo lucky.
[06:31.70]Keep talkin'.
[06:32.84]Well,uh,sometimes I think about selling my practice,
[06:38.64]we could move to France,
[06:41.71]make French toast.
[06:44.88]Okay,so,uh,we're in France,
[06:49.62]we're making the toast. …
[06:52.86]Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
[06:56.56]Like a hound?
[07:00.20]Not a basset,a bassinet.
[07:05.74]You really need the bassinet?
[07:08.71]Well,I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.
[07:14.38]Do you,uh,do you,do you not see kids in our future.
[07:17.35]Oh,hey,I love children,
[07:21.52]I have children.
[07:23.62]I just don't want to be 70
[07:25.12]when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start. …
[07:32.56]Look I want you,now.
[07:38.37]That's Great.
[07:40.54]You know we don't need to talk about this now.
[07:42.41]Really,I mean this is, is so way,way,way,in the future,
[07:46.74]I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
[07:54.69]Come on,Chandler,I want this part soo much.
[07:58.56]Just one kiss,I won't tell anyone.
[08:01.33]Joey,no means no!
[08:08.73]I'm sorry we,we don't have your sheep.
[08:15.81]Aww,Rach,I think you look cute
[08:19.28]And you,uh,you,
[08:22.21]- you I could eat with a spoon - Get away from me I said no!
[08:28.52]- Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs. - Oh,Richard's here.
[08:31.39]I should run down say bye to him
[08:41.20]So how's your date with your cyberchick going.
[08:43.50]Ooh,hey,what is all that?
[08:48.17]See,she likes art,
[08:51.08]and I like funny words.
[08:54.58]
[08:57.38]It means we're holding hands.
[09:01.42]Are you the cutest?
[09:03.09]I'm afraid I might just be.
[09:07.89]You know,what I think is so great that you are totally into this person
[09:11.73]and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old,or have two heads, …
[09:17.13]or. It could be a guy.
[09:19.87]Okay,it's not a guy,all right,I know her.
[09:28.35]Man,I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back.
[09:33.75]What's going on?
[09:37.76]Oh,well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live.
[09:40.32]Women live longer than men.
[09:45.90]How do you not fall down more?
[09:49.80]Okay,ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'
[09:53.44]All right.
[09:58.31]"My husband is sleeping with his secretary." “
[10:02.28]She's married!
[10:04.78]Well at least we know she's a woman.
[10:09.09]I can't believe she's married.
[10:11.29]Aw,man I'm sorry.
[10:15.29]This must be very tough for ya,huh.
[10:21.60]So,I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings,
[10:26.94]because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
[10:29.21]Oh,that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.
[10:34.04]- See,we're having fun. - Oh,absolutely.
[10:37.82]Yeah,you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not going to be thinking about.
[10:41.39]Neither am I.
[10:43.52]Hi,there. Are you all right?
[10:46.06]Yeah,when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding,
[10:50.93]and God,I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here,you know I shouldn't,
[10:54.23]people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
[10:58.54]Sweetie,it's be gonna okay,all right. It's a wedding,
[11:01.24]generally people focus on the bride.
[11:04.21]God I know,you're right.
[11:05.24]All rightie,everybody look at me. Good.
[11:08.01]All right,its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines,thank you.
[11:14.28]Okay,I'll see you after the thing.
[11:16.12]- Okay,good luck - Thank you
[11:29.13]Why the hell didn't you tell me!
[11:30.83]I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do
[11:32.37]stand up and shout 'Hey,Rachel,your butt is showing!'
[11:35.71]Oh my God this is sooo humiliating.
[11:37.91]I think the only thing that tops that was,was,
[11:41.58]was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school.
[11:45.05]I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out.
[11:47.82]Oh my God,my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
[11:49.82]Rach,hey look,I remember that,it wasn't so bad.
[11:52.89]Oh Ross,would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
[11:57.43]Rachel!
[11:59.16]Oh hi,Mr. Wineburg,hi Mrs. Wineburg.
[12:01.37]It's so wonderful to see you again,my dear,
[12:03.90]in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
[12:09.14]You told me you didn't see anything.
[12:11.14]I tell ya a lot things!
[12:13.74]Well it's wonderful to have you up and about,again,dear.
[12:17.85]Stay well.
[12:20.58]Okay,now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
[12:24.72]Rach! Rach!
[12:27.49]- Oh my God,I'm married! - I know.
[12:30.13]I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
[12:33.23]Oh honey,I'm so proud of you,Min.
[12:35.93]Min.
[12:37.87]Oh Rach,you're still here,
[12:39.77]at our wedding,they were packing up the chopped liver about now.
[12:43.41]Yeah,I love that story.
[12:46.84]Um,I got a question for you guys.
[12:48.58]Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?
[12:52.32]Well uh,after you ran out on your wedding,
[12:55.19]Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane. …
[13:00.79]Insane!
[13:02.16]...from the syphilis.
[13:04.03]What?
[13:06.26]Yeah,what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
[13:11.94]Angela? Joey Tribiani.
[13:15.37]Listen,what are ya doing tonight?
[13:18.81]I know your seeing that guy, I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....
[13:22.85]Hello? Hello?
[13:35.59]Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent.
[13:39.56]- She wants to know what's wrong? - What's wrong? What's wrong?
[13:41.63]You're married that's what's wrong.
[13:46.94]- Oh,my. - What?
[13:49.44]She wants to meet you in person.
[13:51.18]Hey,look,Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too,
[13:54.04]okay,but she's married,she has a husband.
[13:56.65]What if the husband person is the wrong guy,and you are the right guy.
[14:00.52]I mean you don't get chances like this all the time,
[14:02.89]if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself
[14:05.39]when your 80,which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip. …
[14:10.79]Okay,I'll do it!
[14:12.83]Oh,yeah! Okay! Great!
[14:14.63]Go,man,go put on your shoes,and,and march out there and meet her!
[14:18.80]Oh,wait,no,no you have to take a shower,'cause,eww.
[14:22.37]No,you know what you have to answer her,answer her first.
[14:25.34]No,no,you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much.
[14:33.08]Okay,one more,please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time,I will.
[14:36.59]Okay,last chance.
[14:44.23]Again,I'm sorry.
[14:50.23]You know what,maybe I don't need to have children.
[14:53.87]You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society,
[14:57.84]and by that I mean my mom, …
[15:01.14]has always convinced me that I... …
[15:07.78]I do,
[15:09.45]I have to have children,I'm sorry. I just do.
[15:14.46]Yo! Can I have your attention,please,
[15:17.39]Best Man,making a toast here.
[15:19.83]Thank you.
[15:22.33]I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
[15:28.91]
[15:29.91]What,you hired the same band I can't use the same speech.
[15:33.58]Thank you,thank you very much.
[15:36.38]Anyway,I wish you both a wonderful life together.
[15:41.08]And Rachel...
[15:46.02]its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight,
[15:49.13]and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out!
[16:00.04]Uh,I like to,uh,to add something to that...
[16:02.37]- Why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding?
[16:05.81]Most of you don't know me,I'm Rachel's boyfriend.
[16:09.91]Oh dear God.
[16:12.25]Ross, …
[16:13.55]uh and uh,I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight.
[16:21.02]And,uh,for the record
[16:23.43]she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. …
[16:29.77]What are you doing I'm serious.
[16:33.17]Uh,the reason she walked out on,on Barry is simply that she didn't love him,
[16:40.38]which incidentally worked out pretty well for me
[16:50.82]Cheers!
[16:53.26]- See you in the parking lot. - No,Rach!
[16:58.66]And once again she is out of here.
[17:01.43]
[17:17.28]Ya,know what Barr,I'm not gonna leave.
[17:20.42]I probably should,but I'm not,
[17:23.69]see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings.
[17:31.86]See now,tonight,all I really wanted was
[17:34.43]to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity.
[17:40.77]Well,I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen.
[17:47.91]There's nothing really left to say except....
[17:59.49]"Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl.
[18:07.56]With yellow feathers,feathers in her hair,and a dress cut down to there.
[18:15.14]
[18:16.84]- Marenge,- "...marenge,thank you honey,
[18:19.54]and do the cha-cha.
[18:22.35]And while she like to be a star,Tony always tended bar.
[18:27.28]At the,wait,wait,everybody.
[18:29.69]
[18:33.39]
[18:36.83]
[18:38.73]
[18:41.23]
[18:52.48]Okay,I'll do it.
[18:56.38]You'll do what?
[18:57.41]If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
[19:01.55]Oh my God!
[19:03.25]If I have to I'll,I'll do all again,
[19:05.76]I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing,
[19:08.19]I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings,
[19:10.33]I'll coach the soccer team.
[19:13.16]- Really? - Yeah,if I have to.
[19:16.83]Monica,
[19:20.77]I don't wanna lose you, …
[19:23.27]so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
[19:31.15]You're the most wonderful man.
[19:36.00]And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times,
[19:42.89]then I'd be saying 'okay,let's do it.' …
[19:47.66]But you're not.
[19:51.74]Oh my God,
[19:54.77]I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say.
[20:00.51]I wanna have a baby,
[20:05.75]but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
[20:12.62]God.
[20:19.60]I love you.
[20:30.57]Me too.
[20:39.08]So what now?
[20:42.65]I guess we just
[20:45.59]keep dancing. …
[21:04.07]Oh,hey,I have a question,where is she?
[21:13.68]Ooh,oh,oh,that's her.
[21:14.82]Yeah,'cause life's just that kind.
[21:18.62]Chandler,you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot,
[21:22.36]you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil.
[21:26.70]I think what you have to do is try not to...
[21:35.47]Oh my God!
[21:54.16]OH.....MY.....GOD!!
[22:06.54]All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this,
[22:10.24]because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just,just shut up and close your eyes.
[22:21.75]Wow,you are a good friend,
[22:23.92]'course the audition was this morning,and I didn't get it.
[22:28.59]But that was a hell of a kiss.
[22:30.83]Rachel is a very lucky girl.