I would've called, but I lost your number. 我本来想先打电话 但是号码弄丢了
Great! 太好了
And the two times we went out, it was plain awkward. 我们一起出门两次，都蛮惨的
I think you should go out with this guy. 你应该跟他约会
It didn't. 没有
We go out,we eat. 我们出去吃饭
And you'll see it too,one day. You really,really will. 你总有一天也会明白，真的
You are a strong,confident woman... 你是坚强、有自信的女性
You're too young... 你还年轻…
What's so funny? 你在笑什么？
Nothing. It's an acting exercise. I'm practicing my fake laugh. 没有，这是演技练习 我在练假笑
What? What's so funny? 你在笑什么？
No,no. There's none of that in here. 不行，店里不准抽烟
Come on. At least let me finish this last one. 至少让我抽完这一根
Only if you give me a drag. 好，但你得分我一口
Oh,dark mother,once again I suckle at your smoky teat. 妖女，我又吻上你的唇了
Why don't you hold on to that one. 整根都给你吧
That's like the least fun game ever. 这是最不好玩的游戏
I'm sick of your smoking, so I brought something... 我受够了，我带了一样东西
...that is going to help you quit. 可以帮助你戒烟
That patch is no good. 这个戒烟帖布不好用
It's a hypnosis tape. 这是催眠录音带
A woman at work used it for two weeks and hasn't smoked since. 我一个同事听了 两星期后再也没抽过烟
What's your problem? 你有什么意见？
Nothing. It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap. 没什么，只不过催眠是骗人的
I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City. 我在亚特兰大看过你被催眠
That guy did not hypnotize me,okay? 那傢伙没把我催眠，好吗？
You always pull your pants down and play "Wipe Out" on your butt. 是啊，你总是脱裤子 用**“通杀”
Forget hypnosis. 别用催眠了
The way to quit smoking is to dance naked in a field of heather... 想戒烟就得去石南地上裸舞
...and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy,young men. 然后用六个壮丁的汗水沐浴
Or what my father calls "Thursday night." 我爸管它叫“周四夜狂欢”
The One With the Hypnosis Tape 本集播出：“老少配”
-Here you go. -I didn't want cinnamon on this. 拿去 我不要加肉桂
Sorry. 对不起
Oh,my God! Frank! 天哪，法兰克
How are you? 你好吗？
What are you doing here? 你怎么来了？
And then my mom locked me out of the house,so I couldn't find it. 我妈把我锁在门外 我没办法进去找
Then I tried to find a pay phone, and the receiver was cut off. 我找了一具公共电话 话筒却被剪断了
What happened? 怎么了？
Vandalism. 有人破坏公物
But also,what happened between you and your mom? 那你和你妈怎么了？
We got in a fight. She said that I was too immature to get married. 我们吵架，她说我 不够成熟，不能结婚
You're getting married? 你要结婚了？
My little brother's getting married! 我的弟弟要结婚了
I knew you'd be so cool about this. Do you wanna meet her? 我就知道你会替我高兴 你想见她吗？
Do l? 你说呢？
Do you? 你想吗？
Yeah,I do. 当然想
Cool,all right. She's just parking the truck. 太好了，她正在停卡车
I gonna go get my fiancee,man! 我去带我的未婚妻来
I'd have bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married. 我就知道他会最早结婚
Isn't it fantastic? 这不是很棒吗？
Don't you think he's a little young to get married? 你不觉得他稍嫌年轻？
Well,he's 18. 他已经18岁了
It'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party. 他在最后单身派对上不能喝酒
Yeah,or to get a hooker. 也不能叫鸡
Always illegal,Joe. 叫鸡本来就违法
This is my fiancee... 这是我的未婚妻
... Mrs. IKnight. 奈特老师
That's my sister. 那是我姐姐
You know,it's funny. 说来好笑
Frank told me so much about you,but you're not how I pictured you at all. 法兰克经常提到你 你却跟我想像的不一样
Yeah,I'm a big surprise. 是啊，我很令人意外
Here,grab a seat. 坐吧
So how did you guys meet? 你们是怎么认识的？
I was in Mrs. IKnight's.... 我去上奈特老师的…
I mean,Alice. Sorry. I always do that. 我是说爱丽丝 抱歉，我老是叫错
I was in her home-ec class. 我去上她的家政课
He was my best student. 他是我最好的学生
She was my best teacher. 她是我最好的老师
If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will? 真是让学生不跷课的好方法
And so now you guys are gonna be married? 你们要结婚了？
We talked about just living together... 我们本来只考虑同居
...but we want kids right away. 但是我们想马上生小孩
Oh,my God! 天哪
IKids. Frank,are you sure you're ready for that? 小孩？法兰克 你真的准备好了？
How hard can it be? 能有多难？
You know,I mean,babies. Who doesn't want babies? Right? 谁不想要小宝宝，对吧？
And besides, I never had a dad around. 而且我一直没有爸爸陪伴
And now I always will, because it'll be me. 以后就有了，因为我就是爸爸
Really,we do realize that there's an age difference between us. 我们知道我们的岁数差很多
Good. Because you were acting like you didn't. 那就好 你们看起来好像不知道
But when it comes to love, what does age matter? 但是在爱情里，年龄不是问题
You are falling fast asleep. 你正在进入梦乡
Deeper,deeper,deeper. 越睡越沉，越睡越沉
You are now completely asleep. 你已经睡着了
You don't need to smoke. 你不需要抽烟
Cigarettes don't control you. 香烟不能控制你
You are a strong,confident woman... 你是坚强、有自信的女性
... who does not need to smoke. 你不需要抽烟
A strong,confident woman. 坚强、有自信的女性
You know what? 你知道吗？
I realized in the last year I've only gone out with Richard and Julio. 我发现去年我只和 李察、胡立欧交往过
You gotta help me out,set me up. Get me back in the game. 你得帮我牵线，让我重回情场
Not a problem. 没问题
I work in fashion,and all I meet are eligible straight men. 我在时装界工作 身边全是异性恋好男人
Can I get you something else? 你还要什么？
Cheesecake and a date, if you're giving them out. 起司蛋糕 和一次约会，如果有的话
Haven't we covered that topic? 我们不是谈过了吗？
You just said to her 你刚才对她说…
You wanna go out with me... 你想跟我约会
... because of my wig,the big boobs, and I serve you food. 是因为我是金发、波霸 还端吃的给你
If that were true, I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. 那我找我姑姑就行了
You think she should go out with me, don't you? 你觉得她应该和我约会吧？
You sure you wanna go out with her? 你真的想跟她约会？
That ain't a pretty picture in the morning. 早上会惨不忍睹喔
That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand. 假发乱成一团 义乳扔在床头柜上
Think about it. 你考虑一下
Oh,I will. 我会的
No,I know. I know that this is Frank's life. 我知道这是法兰克的人生
I don't wanna be judgmental, but it's sick. It's sick and wrong! 我不想批评 但这样是变态、是错的
What,is it the age thing? 因为年龄的关系？
I'm fine with the age thing... 我本来不在乎年龄
...until it sticks its tongue down my brother's throat. 直到她把舌头往我弟的喉咙伸
Pheebs,he seems to enjoy it. 菲比，他看起来很爽
You think he'll enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in diapers... 等他忙着帮一堆宝宝换尿布
...of all the babies they have to have right away? 你觉得他还会爽吗？
This is not fair to Frank, and it's not fair to the babies. 这样对法兰克不公平 也对宝宝不公平
You know what? It's not good home economics. 这可不是好的家政
Have you told him how you feel? 你跟他说过吗？
Yes. Not out loud. 有，但没有说出声音
If you don't tell him,soon he'll be married,then you'll hate yourself. 你不说，他就要结婚了 你会恨你自己
Yeah,but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself. 我要是说了，他会恨我
Look at him and his mom. I can't. 你看看他和他妈妈，我不能说
But you guys can. You talk him out of it. 但是你们可以，你们去劝阻他
Come on,you guys. 拜托啦
You have nothing to lose. I have everything to lose. 你们没有损失 我却会失去一切
Do you want me to lose everything? Everything? 你们要我失去一切吗？
Okay,I'm gonna go get Frank. 好，我去找法兰克
We're walking down the street, and I turn to you and say: 刚才走在街上，我对你说
"Let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes." Remember? “去脱衣酒吧坐坐” 记得吗？
And then you say,"Let's just hang out at your place." 然后你说“去你家就好了”
Well,that was a nice move,dumb ass. 好明智啊，猪头
He doesn't do anything for me. 他对我一点吸引力也没有
Last Saturday night,what happened on Walker,Texas Ranger? 上周六的 “猛龙过江”演什么？
Walker was looking for this big busload of kids. 沃克在找一车子的小孩…
All right,I get your point. 我懂你的意思了
I forgot the combination to this about a year ago. 我一年前就忘了它的密码
I just carry it around. 我只是拎着装样子
You got any Chap Stick? 你们有护唇膏吗？
How are those tapes working out? 录音带听得怎样？
Good. I haven't smoked yet today. 很有效，我今天还没抽烟
I feel great and confident. That is a stunning blouse. 清爽又有自信 好漂亮的上衣
Thank you. 谢谢
-Here you go. -Thanks. 拿去 谢了
Let's give Pete a chance. He was funny. He seems really nice. 给彼特一个机会 他既风趣，人又好
That check thing was adorable. 而且支票的事好可爱
What check thing? 什么支票？
As a joke,this customer who has a crush on me,gave me a $20,000 tip. 有个喜欢我的顾客开玩笑 给我两万元的小费
His number's on the check. He did it so I'd call. 他的电话在支票上 他要我打给他
Pete Becker. Pete 彼特贝克，彼特…
Is this him? 是他吗？
That's Bill Clinton. 那是总统
Who's he hugging? 他抱着谁？
Oh,my God. That's Pete. Why is Bill hugging Pete? 天哪，是彼特 总统为什么抱着彼特？
This guy invented Moss 865. 他发明了摩斯865
Every office in the world uses that program. 全世界的公司都在用这个程式
-We use it! -There you go! 我们也在用 你看吧
Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire. 摩妮卡要跟百万富翁约会了
I'm not gonna go out with him. 我才不跟他约会
I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check. This is so exciting. 这居然是真的两万元支票 好兴奋喔
Or incredibly offensive. 或是令人火大
Yeah,sure. That too. 对，也有
What? 怎样？
All we're saying is, don't rush into anything. 我们的意思是，不要操之过急
Come on,think about it. You're 18. She's 44. 你想想：你18岁，她44岁
When you're 36,she's gonna be 88. 等你36岁，她就88岁了
You don't think I know that? 你以为我不知道？
The point is... 重点是…
...there's a lot of women you haven't had sex with yet. 你还可以跟很多女人上床
He's right. He's right. This is your time. 他说得对，这是你的天下
You're young. You're weird. Chicks dig that. 你年轻，你古怪 女生最喜欢了
Isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really care about? 跟一个你很喜欢的人做 感觉不是更棒？
Yeah,in a poem,maybe. 在诗里吧
No,the man's right. That's what I had with Rachel. 不，他说得对 我跟瑞秋就是那样
Not anymore? 现在没有了？
No. I slept with someone else. 没了，我跟别人上了床
So wait. So how did that make things better? 等等，那样对事情有帮助吗？
What you used to have with Rachel is what I got with Alice. 你跟瑞秋的感觉 就是我和爱丽丝的感觉
Now,what is that like? 那是什么感觉？
It's so cool,man. 很棒的感觉
It's because being with her is so much better than not being with her. 因为跟她在一起 比不跟她在一起快乐多了
-Why can't I find that? -I had it and I blew it. 我为什么找不到？ 我拥有过，却搞砸了
Well,I want it! 我想要！
You can have it. 你一定可以拥有
Maybe there's something wrong with me. 也许我有毛病
No,it's out there,man. I've seen it! I got it! 你会找到的 我见过，也拥有了
-Then,you hold on to it! -All right,man! 那你就要好好把握 好
All right! Congratulations, you lucky bastard! 死小子，恭喜你
You're Frank's best man? 你是法兰克的伴郞？
I couldn't help it. Their love is so pure. 我没办法，他们的爱好纯洁
What about you,huh? 那你呢？
I'm the ring bearer. 我帮他拿戒指
I'm so glad you could come. I've got a real home-ec emergency. 你来了就好 我有一个家政**
Oh,my God. Who died on this? 天哪，谁死了？
It's a real "mustard-tastrophe." 芥末酱倒了
Can you help? 你有办法吗？
Absolutely. First,we'll start with a little club soda and salt. 当然有，先用苏打水加盐清洗
-Then if that doesn't work -Forget it. It's ruined. 要是洗不掉，就… 算了，它已经毁了
Never say that. If you can't get it out,cut around the stain... 别这么说，要是洗不掉 就剪掉脏污部份
...add a little lace, you make a stylish throw. 缝一点蕾丝 就是一条漂亮的遮布
Or instead,maybe you could just not marry my brother,Frank? 又或者，你可以 不要嫁给我弟弟
Can we make it smaller? Make it fit on the head of a pin? 能不能让它小到 可以放在针尖上？
I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin. 我喜欢生产这种小东西
You have Monica Geller here. 摩妮卡盖勒来访
Absolutely. Yeah,send her in. 好的，让她进来
What the hell is this? 这是什么意思？
Hang on for a sec. I'll talk to you in the morning? 等一下…明天早上再谈？
You got it. 好的
I'm sorry. What? 对不起，什么？
What's this supposed to mean? 这是什么意思？
Well,you know, I never know how much to tip. 我一直不会算小费
You double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. 把加税乘以二 不是把罗马尼亚的税收乘以二
Are you buying me? Is this how you get girls to go out with you? 你要买我吗？ 你都这样约女孩子？
I'm still here. 我还在
You're taking this wrong. If I didn't leave you that tip... 你误会了 要是我没给这笔小费
...you wouldn't have come, we wouldn't have this argument... 你就不会来，我们不会争吵
...and there wouldn't be this heat between us. 也不会有这种紧张的气氛
You gotta admit that our relationship is hitting a new level now. 你得承认我们的关系有进展了
You were the chef and I was the customer. 以前你是厨师，我是顾客
But now we're this couple that fights. 现在我们是两个争吵的人
You're a loon. 你是个疯子
Look,forget the check,okay? I like you. 别管这张支票了，我喜欢你
I think you're great. 我觉得你很棒
Come on,what do you say? 怎么样？
I don't know. 我不知道
Why not? 为什么？
I don't wanna encourage this behavior. 我不想鼓励这种行为
One meal. That's all I'm asking for. Please? 我只求一顿饭，好吗？
If you don't have a good time, I'll give you 10 grand,we're even. 要是玩得不开心 我给你一万，我们扯平
Wait,no. Just put the mail down. It's me. 不，把信放下，是我
Sorry. Why were you just all in the dark? 对不起，你怎么不开灯？
Your laundry smelled so good that I thought I'd curl up in it. 你的衣服好香，我就窝在里面
-ls that all right? -Yeah,sure. 没关系吧？ 没关系
So how was your day? 今天过得怎样？
It's just probably the worst one since I've been alive. 可能是我有生以来最惨的一天
What happened? 怎么了？
Alice.... She called it off. 爱丽丝改变心意了
Did she say why? 她有说原因吗？
No. Just that I was too young. 没有，她只说我太年轻
I don't see how I could suddenly be too young... 我怎么突然变年轻了？
... because I'm older than I was when we first got together. 刚交往时，她还说我老成
I don't know. But you know what? Maybe it's just all for the best. 不晓得，但是你知道吗？ 或许这样也好
Well,yeah,if the best is like unbelievable pain. 是啊，但是我好痛苦
Oh,sweetie. 亲爱的
You know,I was just finally happy. 我好不容易感到快乐
For the first time in my life... 这是生平第一次
...after my dad left me... 先是爸爸离开我…
...and then getting arrested for stealing those birds... 然后偷鸟被逮捕…
...and then the whole punctured-lung thing. 然后又肺穿孔
It's still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather... 天气一冷，我还是很难深呼吸
...but with Alice, all that stuff kind of went away. 但是有了爱丽丝 这些都不见了
And now it's gone, and I don't know why. 现在我失去了，却不知道原因
Well,I can tell you why. It's because of me. 我可以告诉你，是我害的
But you know what? I only did it because I love you,okay? 不过我是爱你才这么做
What? 什么？
I kind of had a little chat with Alice... 我跟爱丽丝聊了一下
...and I sort of made her see why you two shouldn't be together. 让她明白你们为何不能在一起
Wait a minute. This is because of you? 等一下，是你造成的？
My mother didn't want us to be together... 我妈反对我们在一起
...but the worst thing she did was tie me to the porch. 但是她顶多把我绑在门廊上
I came to you because I thought you'd understand. 我觉得你能了解，所以来找你
I would storm out of here... 我很想摔门走人
...if I had some money or a place to go. 但是我没钱、没地方去
Oh,my God! The millionaire's here! 天哪，大富豪来了
Oh,my God! 天哪
I'm just gonna have dinner with him. 我只是要跟他吃顿饭
Okay,just because he buys you dinner does not mean you owe him anything. 他请你吃饭 并不代表你欠他什么
I know. 我知道
Okay,then get the lobster. 那记得点龙虾
How much cash you got in your pocket now? 你口袋里有多少现金？
And that's why I'm not inviting you in for a drink. 我就不请你进来坐了
Why not? Hey,come in for drink. 进来坐一下嘛
-Where do you wanna go? -You like pizza? 你想去哪里？ 喜欢吃披萨吗？
-That sounds great. -I know a great little place. 听起来不错 有一家馆子不错
You're not paying for the pizza. 我不能让你付钱
Come on,it's only fair. You paid for the flight. 这样很公平，你出了机票钱
Is that enough lira? 这些里拉够吗？
I'd throw another 1000 on that. 再丢个一千
-How much is that? -That's about 60 cents. 这样是多少？ 大约60毛美金
Every night! 每天晚上都这样
You don't need to smoke. 你不需要抽烟
Cigarettes don't control you. 香烟不能控制你
... who does not need to smoke. 你不需要抽烟
A strong,confident woman... 坚强、有自信的女性
... who does not need to smoke. 不需要抽烟
Look,I know that you think I did this totally evil thing. 我知道你觉得我做了大坏事
But I so didn't. 但是我没有
Someone's here who can explain this better than I can. 有一个人可以解释得比我清楚
Hi,Mrs. IKnight. 奈特老师
Phoebe's right,Frank. 法兰克，菲比说得对
It's hard to hear,but it would've been wrong to go through with it. 这话不中听，但我们不该结婚
I was being selfish. 我太自私了
Even though we want the same things right now... 我们现在追求相同的东西
...in the future,we may not. 未来却不见得如此
-ls that what it is? -Yes,but not just that. 对不对？ 对，但不只如此
Not just that. 不只如此
Even though we love each other as much as we do... 虽然我们现在非常相爱
... nonetheless.... 然而…
Nonetheless. 然而…
...to really know what you want. 不晓得你要什么
That's right,exactly. 没错
That's a goodbye kiss. That's good. 你们在吻别，很好
Bye-bye. 再见
The important thing is, is that you see what I'm saying. 总之希望你了解我的意思
This is clearly wrong. 这么做摆明是错的
I've decided I'm gonna let this happen. 我绝不会袖手旁观
Can I just get my purse? 我要拿皮包
Okay,all right,good. 好吧，算了
Cigarettes don't control you. 香烟不能控制你
You are a strong,confident woman... 你是坚强、有自信的女性
... who does not need to smoke. 你不需要抽烟
Joey's your best friend. 乔伊是你最要好的朋友
You wanna make him a cheese sandwich every day. 你要每天为他做起司三明治
And you also wanna buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants. 你还要送他一条几百块的裤子