[00:01.625] Oh my God! I can’t believe my little brother is married!
[00:04.447] Oh I know!!
[00:07.880] You guys, why didn’t you tell me you were eloping?
[00:10.145] ‘Cause it just sorta happened, y’know we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch…
[00:13.360] Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
[00:15.616] We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like,
[00:19.923] "Hey! Y'know, we’re here, having lunch let’s get married!
[00:23.687] Wow, a year and a half ago I didn’t even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too.
[00:35.631] Okay. Okay.
[00:39.879] Stop it, don’t.
[00:43.013] So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
[00:46.608] Uhh, yeah.
[00:50.125] We’ve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged,
[00:54.163] we thought we’d get a jump on things,
[00:55.793] y’know no one’s getting any younger.
[00:59.327] See the thing is umm, we’re not able to y’know, uh, conceive.
[01:04.122] And we’ve tried everything, we’ve seen a bunch of doctors.
[01:06.184] Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm,
[01:10.971] her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl.
[01:16.764] So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
[01:24.592] That’s a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat
[02:19.006] Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! Guess which job I got.
[02:24.936] I don’t know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.
[02:30.611] What?
[02:31.621] Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back.
[02:35.873] But you-you said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black?
[02:41.097] Well, you-you know what I meant.
[02:43.269] No, you messed it up. You’re stupid.
[02:50.456] So what job did you get Joe?
[02:52.666] Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
[02:55.279] Well, how can you be a tour guide, don’t you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
[02:58.950] No, not really. They give you all the information, it’s uh, it’s like memorizing a script.
[03:03.329] "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
[03:08.161] Great!! That’s great!
[03:10.185] Uh actually Joey, it’s the Cretasous period.
[03:15.050] Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.
[03:18.267] Hey!!Hey!
[03:19.650] Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
[03:22.556] Oh my God!!
[03:24.040] And! And, they’re gonna have a baby!
[03:27.121] And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus.
[03:34.247] My God!
[03:35.426] Are you serious?
[03:36.565] Yeah
[03:37.444] You’re really thinking about having sex with your brother?!
[03:43.842] Ewww! And "Oh no!" It’s—they just want me to be the surrogate.
[03:48.843] It’s her-it’s her egg and her sperm, and I’m-I’m just the oven, it’s totally their bun.
[03:54.492] What did you tell them?
[03:55.817] Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about?
[03:59.620] I’m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
[04:03.313] You’re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
[04:08.722] Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
[04:14.193] Yeah, like you’re gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant. I know!
[04:20.528] Pheebs, you’re talking about putting your body through an awful lot,
[04:23.484] I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it’s all for somebody else!
[04:28.845] Yeah, what’s your point?
[04:31.409] Well, the stuff I just mentioned.
[04:35.063] Wow! I don’t know if I could ever do that.
[04:37.085] I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a…keeper.
[04:45.632] Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
[04:50.056] No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, we’ll be supportive like crazy.Yeah.
[04:54.107] We just want you to think it through.
[04:55.617] Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who’s had a baby. Like your mom?
[04:58.935] My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
[05:08.744] Umm, I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
[05:13.838] Oh, yeah, sure, it’s not mine anyway. It can with the pants.Oh!
[05:22.774] I am so jealous.
[05:24.275] You guys are really right…there aren’t you?
[05:26.987] Yes. Right where?
[05:31.410] In the beginning where y’know it’s all sex and talking and sex and talking and…
[05:38.180] Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking.
[05:41.871] And the sex?
[05:42.694] All right, we haven’t had sex yet. Okay, what’s the big deal?
[05:46.190] Y’know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
[05:51.699] Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
[05:53.964] That is really nice…lying! No way is that the reason!
[06:00.773] Why? Just because you’re not mature enough to understand something like that?!
[06:04.538] No, he’s right, I’m totally lying.
[06:11.460] Then what is it?
[06:12.556] Well, Kathy’s last boyfriend was Joey.
[06:15.669] And you’re afraid you won’t be able to…fill his shoes.
[06:22.162] No, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make love as well as him.
[06:25.987] Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
[06:27.824] Yes, and I was saying the actual words.
[06:31.738] So big deal, so Joey’s had a lot of girlfriends, it doesn’t mean he’s great in bed.
[06:35.427] We share a wall! So either he’s great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
[06:44.282] Sweetie, with you it’s gonna be different.
[06:46.101] The sex is gonna be great, ‘cause you-you guys are in love.
[06:49.953] Yeah? Yeah!
[06:51.336] Just go for it Chandler.
[06:53.346] Yeah, you should.
[06:53.638] Yeah, you should, really.
[06:53.909] Go on.
[06:54.810] All right, all right, I’ll go sleep with my girlfriend. But I’m just doing it for you guys.
[07:03.196] Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
[07:09.065] Isn’t the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic?
[07:12.129] Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, we have a large foot.
[07:23.145] Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. Everyone wave ‘Hi’ to Ross.
[07:30.082] Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work.
[07:37.911] Okay, moving right along. Come on.
[07:44.535] It’s open! Come in!
[07:46.774] Hi!
[07:47.840] I’m sorry, I’m late.
[07:48.822] Oh, that’s okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
[07:53.375] Wow! You really go all out when you’re expecting company.
[07:57.369] No, I was working on my pottery.
[07:59.025] Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn’t know that you did…pot.
[08:06.437] Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
[08:11.493] Ooh, erotiery!
[08:12.673] Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me.
[08:16.990] I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Y’know…
[08:21.087] Okay.
[08:23.492] I really don’t think it’s a very good idea, Phoebe.
[08:26.722] Why not?
[08:28.035] Well, because you’d be giving up a baby, and I-I really don’t—
[08:32.625] I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby.
[08:38.517] So, umm,
[08:42.816] Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Don’t-don’t hurt the puppy.
[08:47.449] No-no-no, the-the puppy’s yours.
[08:49.591] Oh, I get a puppy!!
[08:50.965] Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
[08:53.705] Why?
[08:56.175] I realise I don’t have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now,
[09:01.890] but umm,uhh…
[09:07.997] Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, it’s very important.
[09:11.317] Okay.
[09:12.474] I mean, I know what I’m talking about. I gave up two babies,
[09:17.459] and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies,
[09:20.533] that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies.
[09:25.796] I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.
[09:31.691] So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy,
[09:35.791] it would be like a million times harder to give up a child.
[09:42.218] I really shouldn’t have given you the puppy first.
[09:45.320] All right, I’m sorry.
[09:51.366] Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I’m-I’m saving this for my friend Ross.
[09:53.510] You mean Dr. Geller?
[09:55.469] Doctor? Wow! I didn’t know he had a nickname.
[09:59.303] Oh, he won’t sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there,
[10:03.567] and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
[10:07.157] Well, how-how come?
[10:08.449] That’s just the way it is.
[10:09.730] That’s crazy.
[10:12.045] Maybe it’s crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers,
[10:17.051] but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now.
[10:22.560] See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now…
[10:29.547] Peter! Hey, Peter! It’s me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin’ which you man!
[10:41.119] I gave you my Snack Pack!See, he pretend he don’t even here me!
[10:49.965] I-I think everybody’s pretending they don’t hear you.
[10:54.161] Anyway, look, I don’t know about you and your jackets and your separate tables,
[10:57.594] but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, I’m telling you, he will sit in it!
[11:04.713] Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
[11:11.206] That’s okay, I’m cool over here. I’ll catch up with you later, Joey.
[11:18.314] Op, this is saved. Gift shop.
[11:30.998] Hey, uh, I’m really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
[11:36.584] It’s no big deal. Hey, y’know, you do what you gotta do. Right?
[11:39.034] But hey, it’s not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
[11:45.028] Whatever.
[11:46.079] It’s like that everywhere, Joey!
[11:47.692] Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right?
[11:52.065] And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
[11:55.003] I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
[12:01.057] Look, Ross, really it’s-it’s no big deal.
[12:04.550] Y’know you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can’t be friends at work, then so be it.
[12:10.048] Y’know, hey I understand. Y’know? Hey, when I’m in a play and you’re in the audience, I don’t talk to you, right?
[12:17.909] So it’s y’know, it’s uh, it’s cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.
[12:24.545] Yeah, when we’re in the audience he doesn’t talk to us, but he does wave.
[12:36.733] Hi. Hey!
[12:40.265] Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
[12:44.410] Ooh, y’know what, I think it’s time for puppy to go out again.
[12:47.681] Come on, let’s go to the balcony.
[12:49.129] What?!
[12:50.140] Umm, the street. Come on, let’s go to the street.
[12:53.006] Ooh, listen, don’t go onto the balcony until after I get back.
[12:58.872] So, did you do it?
[13:00.671] Yes, yes, we had the sex.
[13:03.666] Uh-oh, it was bad?
[13:05.447] It was fine, y’know? But she didn’t agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey.
[13:12.020] She was more like, "I see you point, I’m all right with it."
[13:16.336] Well, it was the first time.
[13:17.909] Y’know, there’s not always a lot of agreement the first time.
[13:20.804] Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree like that.
[13:25.410] Look, you have to help me! Okay?
[13:27.630] I mean, I know what to do with a woman, y’know, I know where everything goes, it’s always nice.
[13:33.467] But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebody’s killing her in there!"
[13:40.739] All right, I’m gonna show you something a lot of guys don’t know. Rach, give me that pad, please?
[13:45.650] All right. Now…
[13:48.489] Look, you don’t have to draw an actual wo—whoa! She’s hot!
[13:53.585] Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones.
[13:56.130] You got one, two three, four,five, six, and seven!
[14:02.979] There are seven?!
[14:05.316] Let me see that.Oh, yeah.
[14:11.079] That’s one?
[14:12.714] It’s kind of an important one!
[14:15.459] Oh, y’know-y’know what, I was looking at it upside down.
[14:20.285] Well, y’know, sometimes that helps.
[14:27.651] Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.
[14:34.398] That-that’s bad?
[14:35.632] Well if you go to Disneyland, you don’t spend the whole day on the Materhorn.
[14:39.877] Well you might if it were anything like 7!
[14:43.898] All right uh, the important thing is to take your time,
[14:48.187] you want to hit ‘em all, and you mix ‘em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
[14:52.613] Oo, toes!! Well, for some people.
[15:01.918] All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5,
[15:15.000] a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7,
[15:30.813] 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)!
[15:51.733] Dr. Geller, there’s a seat over here.
[15:54.884] Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle.
[16:03.113] I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey,
[16:08.675] if he’ll sit with me.
[16:15.564] I will sit with you Dr. Geller.
[16:22.320] Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history,
[16:27.769] and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch.
[16:35.522] Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y’know what I see, I see-I see division.
[16:40.063] Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!"
[16:49.445] Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us,
[16:55.191] and we get to know the people underneath.
[17:01.268] I’m Ross! I’m divorced, and I have a kid!
[17:11.633] I’m Joey! I’m an actor!
[17:14.649] I don’t know squat about dinosaurs!
[17:19.767] I’m Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.
[17:24.892] All right, there you go!
[17:26.192] Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!
[17:28.893] I’m Andrew, and I didn’t pay for this pear.
[17:35.265] Okay, good-good for you.
[17:37.696] I’m Rhonda, and these aren’t real!
[17:46.052] Wow, Rhonda.
[17:49.699] I’m Scott.
[17:50.596] Yeah, okay, Scott!
[17:53.049] And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
[18:03.141] My mom’s gonna be here any minute. I can’t do this, I can’t give him up.
[18:08.060] Yes—no, I can. I don’t want to.
[18:12.161] But I can. No.
[18:16.305] Oo, I can’t watch this, it’s like Sophie’s Choice.
[18:20.482] Y’know, I never saw that.
[18:22.642] Ooh, it was only okay.
[18:25.677] Ooh, I can’t do this. My mom was right.
[18:29.335] If I can’t-if I can’t give him up, then
[18:32.319] there’s no way I can give up a baby.
[18:35.208] Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed.
[18:38.601] What-what else, what else can I give ‘em—a kidney!
[18:43.945] Hi!
[18:46.216] Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so…
[18:48.497] Yeah, so we just thought we’d stop by and let you know there’s still no pressure.
[18:52.643] None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we’re just gonna be right over there having coffee.
[18:58.699] Okay.
[18:59.924] Oh, who’s this little guy?!
[19:01.679] Oh! Ooh! Umm!
[19:04.645] Oh, he’s so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.
[19:11.272] You are so precious, I could just take you home.
[19:15.339] Hey, why don’t you?
[19:17.013] Are you serious?
[19:18.072] Uh-huh, yeah!
[19:19.962] Oh, thanks.
[19:24.305] What are you doing?
[19:25.588] No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why?
[19:28.968] ‘Cause look at them, look how happy they are,and I made that,
[19:32.638] so…y'know.I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but,
[19:39.660] oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this.
[19:46.291] I wanna carry your baby.
[19:48.705] Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don’t know what this means to us! Oh!
[19:58.782] Oh my God, I think I’m gonna cry!
[20:06.196] It’s gonna be so great.
[20:09.592] Hi! What’s going on?
[20:11.814] Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I’m gonna carry their baby.
[20:17.979] But Phoebe…
[20:18.863] No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though,
[20:21.890] and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[20:27.198] Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but it’s just—that was my puppy.
[20:32.192] Oh!
[20:38.286] Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
[20:40.493] It depends on who asked.
[20:42.251] What if I asked?
[20:44.030] Oh, Mon, sure.
[20:46.373] Really?
[20:47.071] Yes.  You’re not asking are you?
[20:54.132] No.
[20:54.725] Yes! Totally!
[20:58.257] Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you!