[00:04.27]She is the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend.
[00:08.24]I get to have sex with the star of the play!
[00:11.47]-People can hear you. -I know!
[00:22.52]She looks great,doesn't she?
[00:28.16]That is one good-looking man.
[00:32.39]Is it just me,or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?
[00:38.33]So you been doing this long?
[00:41.30]No. You're my first. Put the money on the table.
[00:49.71]That's nice.
[00:54.22]Dude!
[00:58.72]-ls that an expensive blouse? -lf you want it to be.
[01:07.50]Here's your girlfriend's button.
[01:12.30]The One with Rachel's Crush
[00:00.00]
[02:00.85]Do you still have your old blouses and dresses from high school?
[02:05.49]Yeah,I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
[02:08.19]Maternity clothes are so expensive.
[02:13.09]Rach,I made a pile of your stuff. If you could just...
[02:18.93]...throw your purses at it.
[02:21.47]Bloomingdale's eliminated my department.
[02:24.77]Are you out of a job?
[02:26.37]No,but they stuck me in Personal Shopping,which is a huge step down.
[02:31.31]What is that?
[02:32.61]Where you walk around with rich people and tell them what to buy?
[02:38.19]That sounds great!
[02:44.49]We switched apartments. You can't eat our food. That gravy train has ended.
[02:49.96]There's gravy?
[02:52.73]If you have the big apartment,you have to deal with people coming over.
[02:56.24]That fridge has to be stocked. That's your apartment now.
[03:03.08]-What are you doing? -I think I left a doughnut up here.
[03:12.25]How was Kathy's play?
[03:14.96]Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good-looking guy.
[03:20.63]It's like somebody wrote down my worst nightmare...
[03:23.60]...and then charged me $32 to see it.
[03:27.54]That's a good idea for a business.
[03:29.97]I'm totally screwed. They're gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night...
[03:34.11]...then they'll go to their cast parties, and he's gonna try to undermine me.
[03:38.11]He'll be like,"Where's your boyfriend? What's his name? Chester?"
[03:41.88]She'll go,"It's Chandler." He'll go,"Whatever!"
[03:47.76]That is a good trick.
[03:51.46]All right,look. What am I going to do?
[03:54.30]They're actors. They're there to do a job.
[03:57.50]It doesn't mean they're gonna get together.
[03:59.93]Just because it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins...
[04:03.00]...doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them. ...
[04:05.91]Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
[04:08.91]Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
[04:12.68]Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.
[04:16.65]They're not a couple.
[04:17.92]I get the game now.
[04:21.26]All these people were in movies together. It's much different with plays.
[04:24.93]You were in acting class together,and she slept with you.
[04:27.83]Acting class is a lot more like a movie than a play.
[04:31.20]When they were doing it on stage, was it really hot?
[04:35.74]Oh,yeah.
[04:39.64]So you're fine.
[04:41.14]The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage...
[04:45.61]...then all the sexual tension between them is gone.
[04:49.08]As long as it's hot on stage, you got nothing to worry about.
[04:53.52]When the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble.
[04:57.19]Really?
[04:58.36]You guys have been to every play I've been in. Have I ever had chemistry on stage?
[05:02.46]-No. -No!
[05:08.64]Are you gonna go see the play with me tonight?
[05:11.91]I don't know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between them.
[05:17.35]-I know,but -No,I'm there.
[05:23.55]-Want some pancakes? -You made pancakes?
[05:26.35]Grab a plate.
[05:29.52]No,no. Stay right there.
[05:34.40]Getting closer.
[05:37.07]Don't worry...
[05:38.37]...we also have cereals, muffins,waffles and... ...
[05:41.54]...jams,jellies and marmalades, which I'm sure are the same thing. ...
[05:46.74]Please eat,because Joey opened everything.
[05:50.81]
[05:55.55]I was thinking about having people over.
[05:57.79]Yeah? Who's playing?
[06:01.89]The players.
[06:04.89]Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
[06:09.63]Please. It's a relief,is what it is,is what it is.
[06:15.20]Pheebs,stick out your plate.
[06:24.58]Monica,I'm quitting.
[06:25.81]I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong,and she didn't even buy it.
[06:30.99]I'm quitting.
[06:32.62]I'm talking to my boss right now.
[06:35.39]Yes,I am. Yes,I am.
[06:37.49]Okay,bye. Call me when you get this message.
[06:41.26]Mr. Waltham? I really need to talk to you.
[06:44.00]In a moment,please. I'm in the middle of a task.
[06:46.83]And you have a customer.
[06:51.91]Hi.
[06:53.17]Hi,I'm Joshua.
[06:54.64]I'm Rachel Greene. What could I do for you,Joshua?
[06:57.95]I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife Well,my ex-wife
[07:02.58]I'm so sorry.
[07:09.16]Anyway,she burned all of my clothes.
[07:11.99]I got away with this suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
[07:17.06]Well,at least that's a great suit.
[07:20.20]It wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.
[07:25.94]I need everything down to underwear. If you're willing,I'm all yours.
[07:31.61]Okay.
[07:33.55]You needed to speak to me?
[07:35.38]No,no,that wasn't me.
[07:39.89]We should get started. Let me show you my underwear.
[07:45.56]The selection of underwear that we carry.
[07:51.63]I'm sorry.
[07:52.83]-It's this way. -This way? Sorry.
[08:00.54]I'm right. Right? There was no chemistry between them.
[08:03.95]Before,they had heat. Now,there's no heat.
[08:07.45]You know what this means. Joey told us what this means.
[08:10.75]Let's not jump to any conclusions. There was some sexual chemistry.
[08:15.72]Come on. It was like cousins having sex.
[08:20.53]Here she comes. Don't say a word. Just be cool. Don't be,you know,you.
[08:27.44]Hey,you guys!
[08:29.74]Thank you so much for coming again.
[08:32.41]-Did you like it tonight? -Absolutely.
[08:36.21]Wasn't Nick funny when he couldn't get his match lit?
[08:43.52]It's a good play,isn't it?
[08:47.05]I loved the play. You were great.
[08:49.56]And Nick,ditto.
[08:53.09]Clearly,you're having sex with him.
[08:58.83]Okay....
[09:04.57]Clearly,I'm having sex with him?
[09:07.17]It was so obvious. There was no chemistry between you two.
[09:11.41]You're accusing me of cheating on you, and you're insulting my performance?
[09:16.88]I can see how this could happen. You're up there every night naked,touching,kissing.
[09:22.09]Acting. Chandler,this is my job.
[09:25.26]I'm playing a part in a play. How can you not trust me?
[09:29.10]You can understand, given how we started.
[09:33.83]I can't believe you're throwing that in my face.
[09:36.34]That is what happened. I don't even see you denying this.
[09:40.37]I'll tell you what,Chandler. You call me when you grow up.
[09:43.68]Don't expect that to happen any time soon!
[09:51.79]I have the best job in the entire world!
[09:54.92]The most adorable guy came over, and I got to dress him up all day!
[10:00.90]Rachel has a new doll!
[10:03.66]I wish he was a doll. I'd get a Rachel doll and bump them together...
[10:07.20]...and make kissing noises.
[10:10.10]He's got the most beautiful name. I never realized. Joshua.
[10:14.94]Joshua.
[10:16.94]Joshua. Josh.
[10:19.58]Hello?
[10:21.02]Hi.
[10:24.72]What do I smell?
[10:26.39]I don't know. It smells good.
[10:34.36]Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven.
[10:37.63]Please,have some.
[10:40.17]I've been fiddling around here, making delicious treats for everyone.
[10:44.84]The new Playboy.
[10:46.34]Just something I picked up.
[10:48.34]Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever!
[10:57.55]What?
[10:58.75]It's just something Joshua said about V-necks,but you had to be there.
[11:04.03]How does Jason look in a V-neck?
[11:06.43]-It's Joshua. -Whatever.
[11:11.87]Wait. Wait. This isn't takeout!
[11:14.77]-Hate to eat and run. -No,wait. Please,don't go!
[11:17.91]I've got porn for you too.
[11:20.68]I don't need it.
[11:23.44]People are supposed to want to hang out here.
[11:25.81]Why? What is the big deal?
[11:27.85]I'm the hostess.
[11:30.48]Not those guys. I'm always the hostess.
[11:33.52]Even when I was little,the girls brought their dollies to my tea party.
[11:37.96]I served the best air.
[11:40.83]Why'd you make a big thing out of everyone hanging out in the big apartment?
[11:45.30]'Cause they took our apartment. I wanted to punish them.
[11:48.54]I'm done now. They've suffered enough.
[11:52.44]If you wanted to punish them,you should have just made them hang out here.
[11:56.18]That is true.
[11:57.71]This place is gonna be 10 times better than that place.
[12:00.72]Are we gonna trash their place?
[12:04.69]There's steps!
[12:08.46]Slut!
[12:14.06]You'll all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[12:19.17]-What? -You were right?
[12:21.10]I confronted her, and she didn't deny it.
[12:26.41]I don't live here!
[12:32.45]Wait,are you sure?
[12:34.25]I may be drunk, but I know what she said.
[12:37.32]Then I went over to Beefsteak Chewley's....
[12:42.32]-Beefsteak Charlie's? -Yes!
[12:44.69]You and l have always been like:
[12:49.63]Man,I am so sorry.
[12:51.37]The bartender taught me a trick,though.
[13:01.44]I don't remember it.
[13:20.39]-Do you need help with that? -I got it.
[13:24.03]I just feel bad. I never vacuum.
[13:30.34]I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out.
[13:35.48]-Just so frustrating. -Why don't you ask him out?
[13:38.21]Totally. That's such a turn-on.
[13:41.15]Really? It doesn't seem desperate?
[13:43.58]That's the turn-on.
[13:46.92]He just got a divorce. Right? He's probably really nervous around women.
[13:50.72]Maybe you just need to make the first move.
[13:53.19]-I've never asked a guy out before. -You've never asked a guy out?
[13:57.06]No. Have you?
[13:58.37]Thousands of times!
[14:02.00]That doesn't make me sound too good,does it?
[14:05.11]I don't even know how I would go about it.
[14:07.68]What I do is,I look a woman up and down,and I say...
[14:11.51]..."Hey. How you doing?"
[14:17.35]Oh,please!
[14:19.19]Hey. How you doing?
[14:26.73]You know what? I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna call him up and ask him out.
[14:31.97]I can do that,ask him out.
[14:34.94]"How you doing?"
[14:40.24]Hi,Joshua. It's Rachel Greene from Bloomingdale's.
[14:45.08]I was just wondering if you...?
[14:48.12]If you...
[14:52.25]...Ieft your wallet at the store today?
[14:56.49]We found a wallet,and we
[14:59.66]The license? That is a good idea.
[15:03.83]Well,let's see. This license belongs to...
[15:07.47]...belongs to a Mr. Pheebs.
[15:16.11]So sorry to bother you at home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
[15:22.02]-You've done that a thousand times? -I've never done that.
[15:26.59]I just got so nervous that he'd say no.
[15:29.19]You gotta give him something he can't say no to,like...
[15:32.73]...Knicks tickets. Invite him to a Knicks game. You're guaranteed he'll say yes.
[15:36.86]-Really? You think that'll work? -Absolutely. And if not,can I go?
[15:42.74]What the heck is that?
[15:57.75]Did she call?
[16:01.22]No. Sorry.
[16:03.52]Maybe I should call her.
[16:05.76]Forget her,man. You don't need her.
[16:08.40]He's right. What she did was unforgivable.
[16:11.17]Well,yeah,but,you know, what if I was wrong?
[16:14.44]How might you be wrong?
[16:16.34]What if she didn't actually sleep with the guy?
[16:19.44]Tell me she told you this.
[16:21.18]She didn't have to tell me. I saw the play. There was no heat.
[16:24.45]-Back me up. -That's all you're basing this on?
[16:26.75]That's not backing me up!
[16:28.82]Look,you said, "With the offstage and the heat"
[16:32.59]That was just a theory. There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out:
[16:37.19]Lone gunman,communism,geometry.
[16:42.56]Oh,my God!
[16:47.37]"Would you like to go to a basketball game with?"
[16:51.01]"It's funny,basketball, because I happen to have tickets"
[16:59.41]"Who likes the Knick?"
[17:04.25]What do you think?
[17:06.75]Well,as a single woman, who is available...
[17:12.29]...I think you look great.
[17:16.73]Oh,yeah. You look great.
[17:25.31]This looks great.
[17:28.64]So you like it?
[17:29.91]I do. I love it. In fact,I think I'll wear it home.
[17:33.38]-Great. -Thank you so much for all your help.
[17:37.89]Well,I guess this is it.
[17:41.59]Thanks.
[17:43.02]Maybe I'll see you in the spring for the bathing suits.
[17:46.03]You don't want to do that now?
[17:49.26]That's okay.
[17:51.27]I'll see you around sometime.
[17:53.43]Basketball!
[17:56.70]Sorry?
[17:59.61]I have two tickets to the Knicks game if you're interested...
[18:02.88]...just as a thank-you for this week.
[18:07.48]That would be great!
[18:09.38]-Really? -That would be fantastic!
[18:11.72]My nephew is crazy about the Knicks!
[18:16.66]This is fantastic. Thank you so much,Rachel.
[18:20.29]Good morning.
[18:32.77]I just wanted to come over to say that I'm sorry.
[18:36.31]I acted like the biggest idiot in the world.
[18:39.31]I can completely understand why you were so upset.
[18:44.95]I really wish you'd called me.
[18:46.75]Yeah,I know. I wish I had too.
[18:49.72]I think this is a good thing.
[18:52.33]We've had our first fight, and now we can move on.
[18:55.43]I know for me,but
[19:04.54]Nick's pants?
[19:10.34]I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
[19:20.29]-For next time,what do you say? -"l have an extra ticket."
[19:24.06]"An extra ticket." Not "two tickets."
[19:29.56]The first time you asked a guy out he turned you down?
[19:35.34]He didn't turn me down. He's at the game.
[19:38.51]I got the date. I'm just not on it.
[19:44.31]Okay,it's ready.
[19:47.41]-Come on. -What's ready?
[19:50.08]Just come.
[19:55.16]Oh,my God!
[19:58.76]This is beautiful!
[20:01.09]Did you work for two days straight?
[20:05.77]Pretty much.
[20:08.20]What do you think of the floor?
[20:10.70]I don't know. Looks the same.
[20:13.04]You used to have carpet.
[20:14.94]Oh,yeah.
[20:17.28]I made snacks.
[20:19.71]Please,just hang out.
[20:21.28]I'm just gonna rest my eyes for just a little bit.
[20:25.75]Do you want us to come back later?
[20:27.79]No,no,no. Stay. Just keep talking.
[20:32.29]I'm always the hostess.
[20:38.10]How'd it go?
[20:39.67]-She wasn't sleeping with him. -Good!
[20:42.30]She is now.
[20:46.57]-What are you saying? -I'm saying that she is a devil woman.
[20:52.18]You think you know a person,then they turn around and sleep with Nick.
[20:56.28]Nick and his rock-hard pecs and his giant man-nipples.
[21:02.79]I hate him. And I hate her.
[21:05.83]I don't hate her. I love her. This is all my fault.
[21:10.76]How? How is it your fault?
[21:14.00]I should have called.
[21:15.34]If I had called her,she never would have gone out with Nick.
[21:19.11]They wouldn't have ended up in bed. I threw her at his man-nipples!
[21:26.18]This is not your fault.
[21:28.02]Your fight does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[21:34.62]Well,if she thought they were on a break....
[21:43.86]Rachel,one of your customers seems to have left his billfold,a Joshua Burgen.
[21:48.80]Really?
[21:50.07]-Will you call him? -Yes,I will. Absolutely.
[22:08.22]Hello,Rachel.
[22:10.26]Hi,Joshua.
[22:12.39]-I left my wallet here on purpose. -Really?
[22:16.40]Yes. I just wanted to see you again.
[22:18.87]I'm glad.
[22:21.34]Rachel,I'd like to say something to you.
[22:24.74]Yes?
[22:26.64]"How you doing?"