So,what is this? 这是什么？
Googlie Worm. 扭扭虫
And this? 这个呢？
Glow Pop Jiggly Jam. 毛毛球
It's so funny! 好好玩喔
What's this? 这是什么？
A hunk of sandwich from last year. 去年剩的一块三明治
Geller's got one hooked! Looks like a big one! 盖勒钓到了！看来是条大鱼
It's the classic struggle between man 经典的人鱼大战…
Someone knocked over a lamp. 有人撞倒一盏台灯
You know what'll be great about the fishing trip? 这次去钓鱼最棒的是
When my Dad asks,"What are you doing with your life?"... 到了湖中央 爸会问我“你都在忙什么”
...I can say,"I'm doing a movie with Charlton Heston. 我可以说 我要跟却尔登希斯顿演电影
What about you?" 你呢？
太棒了
Don't stop having fun just because I'm here. 别因为我出来就低气压
Kathy didn't cheat on all of you. 凯西没有背叛你们
Well,except you. 除了你
You know what is so sweet? Those birds have not left his side the whole time. 最感人的是 那两只鸡鸭一直跟着他
Yeah,I wish that rooster were dead. 那只公鸡怎么不死
You shouldn't leave Chandler alone. They broke up only two days ago. 乔伊，你不该丢下钱德 他跟凯西才分手2天
Go fishing next week. 下周再去钓鱼吧
There's nothing I can do. He's still in his sweats. 我帮不上忙，他还穿着运动裤
That's only phase one. 现在才第一阶段
I'll be back for phase two. I'd never miss that. 我第二阶段会回来 我从不错过第二阶段
Phase two? 什么第二阶段？
Getting drunk and going to a strip club. 喝个烂醉，上脱衣舞厅
How does going there make him better? 那样怎么会有帮助？
There are naked ladies there. 那里有裸女
Then to phase three: seeing yourself with other women. 然后就是第三阶段 对别的女人产生性幻想
There are naked ladies there too. 那个阶段也有裸女
Would you give me one minute,please? 让我清静一下好吗？
The One with Joey's Dirty Day 本集播出：“失恋大作战”

These will match the jacket you picked out last week? 这跟你上星期挑的外套配？
There we go. 这就对了…
There it is. 就是这样…
You know what I need? Gloves. 你知道我需要什么？手套
Brown leather dress gloves. 棕色的皮手套
Well,let's see.... 好，我看看...
This one is large. 这只手是大号
And this one.... 这只手…
Also large? 也是大号？
Two larges coming right up. 对，两只大号的手套马上来
Hello.
-Damn you. -Could I have a moment? 瑞秋，耽误你一下
My niece,you see, is in town from London. 我的姪女从伦敦来玩
Shropshire,but you know. 其实是什罗普郡
She's about your age,I'd say. 她跟你差不多大
Anyway,I have tickets for the opera. Die Fledermaus. 总之我有两张歌剧的票 “蝙蝠”
Would you like to keep her company tonight? 你今晚愿意陪她吗？
Sure. You got it! 好，没问题 太好了
Count me in. Me. Fledermaus. Great! 算我一份 我和“蝙蝠”，太棒了
Yes,of course. Thank you so very much. 好，谢谢，谢谢，谢谢你
So? 所以…？
So? 怎样？
-Gloves? -Sorry,I'll be right back. 手套？ 对喔，我马上去拿
Actually,I got to take off. 其实我该走了
I was curious. Do you have plans tonight? 不晓得你今晚有没有事？
No,nothing! 没有，没事
I invested in a nightclub. It opens tonight. Want to come? 我投资的夜总会今晚开幕 你要去吗？
That would be great! 好啊，太棒了
You're into hard-core S & M,right? 你喜欢性虐待的主题吧？
-Well,I guess. -I'm kidding. 应该… 开玩笑的
I'll put you on the VlP list. Look for me. 我会先到，我会把你列为贵宾 进来找我
Great! You bet. 好，没问题
I'll see you tonight. 晚上见 好
-I almost forgot the tickets. -What? 差点忘了给你票 什么？
For you and Emily. Tonight. Die Fledermaus. 你和艾蜜莉，今晚 “蝙蝠”
Oh,right. 对喔
You'll like it. It has two out of the three tenors. 你一定会喜欢 三大男高音去了两个
I can't believe Kathy did this to me. 凯西居然这样对我
I really thought she was the one. 我真的以为我要定下来了
I'll tell you what. 告诉你们
I'm not getting out of this chair. Ever! 我再也不离开这张椅子了
From now on,this chair is the one! 以后我要定在这张椅子上
You know what else is the one? My sweatpants. 还有这条运动裤
Just take the sweats off,okay? 别这样，把运动裤脱掉
Take them off and we'll have some fun. 脱掉，我们来玩
Wow,and I can't resist that line. That's why I never wear sweatpants. 我抗拒不了这个诱惑 所以我都不穿运动裤
Did you catch any fish? 有钓到大鱼吗？
You guys have no idea. 说出来吓死你们
-You stink! -Are you kidding? 你好臭 搞什么
Three days without a shower. Plus,I fell in a big tub of worms! 我3天没洗澡 还掉进一桶鱼饵里
How's he doing? 他怎么样？
He hasn't left that chair in two days. 坐在那里坐了2天
Hey,buddy,how's it going? 兄弟，你还好吗？
You see? He just needed his pal to come home. 好兄弟回家就没事了
I got to memorize my lines. 我得背台词
Me and Charlton Heston, bright and early tomorrow,baby! 明天一早 要和却尔登希斯顿演戏
What's the matter? 怎么了？
Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. 约书亚约我参加夜总会开幕
But I already told Mr. Waltham... 但我已经答应沃森先生
...that I would take his niece to the dumb old opera. 要带他的姪女去看老掉牙歌剧
So,what are you going to do? 能怎么办呢？
-I don't know. -No! Help me! 我不知道 不行，救救我
-I can't. I have to work. -Phoebe? 我不行，我要工作 菲比？
I would,but I get my morning sickness in the evening. 我很想，但我都在晚上害喜
Unless she wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me. 除非她想整晚帮我捞住头发
You guys,come on! I have to meet Joshua. 拜托啦，我一定要去找约书亚
It's my one chance for him to see the "fun" Rachel. 这样他才能看到有趣的瑞秋
The "wouldn't it be great if she were my wife?" Rachel. “娶来当老婆会很棒”的瑞秋
Are Joey and Chandler back? 乔伊和钱德回来了吗？
Chandler's still in phase one, and Joey's that thing you smell. 钱德还在第一阶段 乔伊就是臭味的来源
So.... 所以…？
No. 不要
Come on! 拜托啦
-She's here. -Wait,wait. 应该是她 等一下
Ross,please? 罗斯，拜托啦
You want me to take some girl I've never met to the opera... 你要我带一个不认识的女生 去看歌剧
...so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy? 好让你去夜总会 跟某个男人打情骂俏？
That is a toughie. 真难决定啊
She's looking down the hall. 她在看走廊
She looked right at me. 她在看我
You can't see people through that hole,can you? 这样看是看不到的，对吧？
I'll be right there! Okay,Ross,please. 马上来 罗斯，拜托啦
I thought we had moved on. 我以为我们已经放得开了
I thought we could be happy for each other. 我以为我们可以彼此祝福了
I mean,was that just me? 难道只有我是？
All right,I'll do it. 好吧
Thank you,thank you. 谢谢你，谢谢
Emily. I'm Rachel Greene. 艾蜜莉 我是瑞秋葛林
Thank goodness! 谢天谢地
There's been a teeny change of plans. I'm not free tonight 计划有小小的变动 我晚上没空，所以…
Really? 是吗？
I must've missed your call,though I didn't leave the flat all day.  太好了，我一定是没接到电话 虽然我整天都没出门
Well,l 我…
That's not rude. It's in keeping with the trip... 不，这也没什么 我来到这里
...where I've been run down by one of your wiener carts... 先是被你们的热狗车撞倒
...and been strip-searched at the airport. 在机场又被脱衣服搜身
Apparently,I look like someone who's got cocaine stuffed up their bum. 显然我长得就像 **里塞了***
I think you look great. 我觉得你很漂亮啊
Good night. It was very nice to meet you. 再见，很高兴认识你
I'll get her. 我去追她
Please,hurry. 快去 好
Don't you just love the way they talk? 他们讲话好好玩
-What? -The baby kicked! 怎么了？ 宝宝在踢
Oh,my God.
No,wait. The elastic in my underwear busted. 不对，是内裤的松紧带断了
Oh,my God! I overslept! 完了，我睡过头了
I was supposed to be on the set half an hour ago! 通告是半小时前，我得赶快
You can't go like that! You stink! 你不能这样去，你好臭
I fell asleep. Now I don't have time! 我睡着忘记洗澡 现在没时间了
Just 10 blocks away. If I run,I'll make it. 才十条街，用跑的还来得及
Run 10 blocks. That'll help the smell. 跑十条街会更臭
Slow down! No,keep moving. 慢一点！不，你走吧
How did it go last night? 昨晚怎么样啊？
Well,I didn't see Joshua. 我没见到约书亚
But I did punch a girl in the face. 但我揍了一个女生一拳
The whole night was horrible. It was pouring. 昨晚真的很倒霉，雨下得很大
There was no Rachel Greene on the list. But there was a Rachel Greep. 到了现场名单上没有瑞秋葛林 但有一个瑞秋葛皮
So did you get to meet her? 你有见到她吗？
There is no Rachel Greep. But this girl overheard us. 根本没这个人 但有个女生听到了
And she said,"I'm Rachel Greep!" And he let her in. 大叫“我就是瑞秋葛皮” 结果她就进去了
So you hit her? 所以你揍她？
No,she was already in. 不是，她已经进去了
This big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella... 不过后面有个肥婆想偷我的伞
...so I clocked her. 我扁了她
All I wanted was a few hours... 真是的，我只想在工作之余
...outside of work to see Joshua... 跟约书亚相处一下
...so he could go ahead and start falling in love with me. 好让他有机会爱上我
Pheebs. 菲
Honey,that's your name. 那是你的名字
That's short for Phoebe? I thought that's what we called each other. 我以为那是我们之间的匿称
-You're wearing pants! -That's right. 你穿上裤子了 没错
Where are the guys? I'm ready to get drunk and see strippers. 男生呢？我要买醉看脱衣舞了
It's 9:30 a.m. 才早上9点半
They got a breakfast buffet. 那里有早餐吃到饱
喂…罗斯
Let me talk to him! 让我跟他说
-Oh,my God! -Can't I just? 天哪 我能不能…
-It's my phone and she's shush -Please! 我的电话她还嘘我 别吵啦！
What's he saying? 他说什么？
He's with Emily in Vermont. 他跟艾蜜莉在佛蒙特投宿
What? Oh,my God! 什么？天哪
Who the hell is Emily? No. 艾蜜莉是谁？不！
When we first met her, she was soaking,her feet were wet.... 刚见面的时候 她从头到脚都湿透了
Who wouldn't be miserable? 任谁都会心情不好
I'm telling you,once l got her into a dry pair of shoes... 我一让她换上干的鞋子
...she was a totally different person. 她就完全变了
They're in Vermont? How did this happen? 他们在佛蒙特？怎么会？
How'd he end up in Vermont with that witch? 他怎么会跟那个巫婆去佛蒙特
Maybe she doesn't hit him all the time. 也许她没有一直打他吧
There's a deer outside eating fruit from the orchard! 罗斯，快来 外面有只驯鹿在吃果园的水果
I got to go! There's a deer eating fruit from the orchard! 我要挂了 外面有只驯鹿在吃果园的水果
He had to go. There was a deer eating fruit from the orchard. 他挂了 外面有只驯鹿在吃果园的水果
I don't get this. She was horrible! 我不懂，她很机车耶
I'm going to go stand over there. 我要去站在那边
Why do you care? 你干嘛这么在乎？
I don't care. 我才不在乎
I'm just upset that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua. 我只是很气我跟约书亚没进展
You do not just meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont! 但哪有人一认识 就跑去佛蒙特的
When you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail. 你和贝利一认识就跑去维尔
Could you,just for once... 你能不能偶尔有一次
...not remember every little thing? 不要什么小事都记得
So you know,when's he getting back? 他什么时候回来？
A couple of days. 过两天吧
I knew something like this would happen. 我就知道会这样
What are you doing? 你干什么？
You can't go back a phase! 钱德，你不能让阶段倒流
You're thinking about time. You can't go back in time. 可以，时间才不能倒流
Why don't you do your phase two strip club thing with us? 我们跟你去进行第二阶段好了
We can be guys! 对呀，我们可以当男生
No,you can't. 你们不行
Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys. 让我们当嘛，也许我们想当
No,you don't. You'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long. 你们才不想，全身是毛还短命
Would you just stop being such a wuss and get those off? 别这么孬种 把运动裤脱掉
And come with us and watch naked girls dance! 跟我们去看裸女跳舞
Okay. 好
I'm sorry. 对不起
（银杯片厂）
Joey Tribbiani. I'm here. 我是乔伊崔比亚尼，我来了
Calm down,we got time. We're running late. 别急，来得及，进度有点落后
All set.
Look at that. Charlton Heston eating licorice. 你看，却尔登希斯顿在嚼甘草
Yeah,he loves them. I've never seen him with 他很爱嚼甘草，老是…
What the hell is that? What smells so bad? 搞什么？ 什么东西这么臭？
You. 你
I could see why you would think that. But you know who it is? 难怪你会这么想，不过,你知道其实是谁？
You? 你？
No,no. It's Heston. 不，是希斯顿
What? 什么？
He reeks like he went on a three-day fishing trip,then ate licorice. 他臭得好像去钓了3天鱼 现在还嚼甘草
No way. He's the only one with a shower in his dressing room. 不可能 只有他的休息室有浴室
Really? A shower? 真的？浴室？
Which room might that be? 是哪一间？
The one with "Heston" on it. 门口有写“希斯顿”的那间
Interesting. 有意思
I got some ones. You want to put them in her panties? 我换了零钞 你要不要去塞她的小裤裤？
No,thanks,Mom! 不用了，娘
That. 抱歉
You have to put that out because I'm pregnant. 你得熄掉，我怀孕了
Maybe you and your baby ought to go to another strip club. 也许你和你的孩子应该去别家
It's not my baby. 这才不是我的孩子
Very good. 很好
Really good. I enjoyed it. Very exotic. 太棒了，我喜欢，很火辣
I just checked our messages and Joshua didn't call. 我查过留言，约书亚没打来
You'd think he'd be worried about me not showing up. 我还以为我没去他会担心
You know what makes it worse? 更糟的是
Ross is all happy in Vermont. 罗斯正在佛蒙特风流快活
Come on,look where you are! 拜托，你在看脱衣舞耶
Another round of daiquiris. 再来一轮
Virgin for me. 记得我要汽水
Don't let me leave without the name of that carpet guy. 记得提醒我问那个人的名字
凯伦，还有，你最好…
Come on! 拜托！
You know what? I'll go home and call Kathy. 算了，我要回家打给凯西
If it'll help. 如果有用的话
That was a test. In a few hours,I'll be drunk. 不，那是个考验 再过几小时我会喝醉...
I'll want to call her. You'll have to stop me. ...想打给她 你们得阻止我
Then I'll be so drunk, I'll want to call Janice. 接着我会烂醉到想打给珍妮丝
You should! How is she? 你是该打，她好吗？
I think somebody needs another lap dance. 有人需要再来一次腿舞喔
Who's in there? 谁在里面？
How you doing? 你好吗？
Who in the hell are you? 你是谁？
Would you believe me if I said I was Kirk Douglas? 我说寇克道格拉斯 你不会信吧？
Put some pants on,kid, so I can kick your butt. 把裤子穿上，我好踹你的屁股
No,wait. You don't understand. 不，等等，你有所不知
I'm an actor. 我是个演员
Joey Tribbiani. I'm doing a scene with you today. 乔伊崔比亚尼 今天跟你有一场戏
And I stink! 但是我很臭（演得很烂）
You're in this picture? 你有演这部片？
I'm a cop who won't work with you because you're a loose cannon. 对，我演不肯跟你合作的警察 因为你很我行我素
Anyway,I'm really sorry. 总之我很抱歉
But I stink. 但我真的很臭（演得很烂）
Joey,right? 乔伊是吧？
Every actor,one time or another 每个演员或多或少…
Every actor thinks he stinks. 都会觉得自己烂
Even Laurence Olivier sometimes thought he stank. 连劳伦斯奥立佛 有时也会这么想
Bob Redford won't even watch himself. 劳勃瑞福根本不看自己演戏
You don't understand. 不，你没听懂
Listen to me. 听我说
I don't know one actor worth his salt... 每一个好演员
...who,one time in his career, didn't say,"God,I stink!" 在演艺生涯中都曾说过 “天哪，我真烂”
I just did a scene out there. First take,I stunk the place up. 我刚拍完一场戏 第一次我演得烂透了
The important thing, and you must remember... 重要的是你要记住
...no matter how badly you think you stink... 不管你认为自己有多烂
...you must never,ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! 也不能闯进我的休息室 用我的浴室
Do you understand me? 懂了吗？
-Yes,sir. I'm very sorry. -Wait a minute! 是，很抱歉 等等
Take your pants. 把裤子带走
Sorry. I'm really sorry. 对不起，很抱歉
What a business. 演艺圈
We did okay at the strip club,right? 我们表现得还好吧？
Great. Thanks to you, the hottest waitress is quitting... 好得很 你们让最性感的服务生 要辞职...
...to teach the third grade! ...去当小学老师
-He still hasn't called. -Who,Josh? 他居然还没打来 约许吗？
It's Joshua. 是约书亚
-He doesn't like "Josh"? -No,I don't. 他不喜欢约许？ 是我不喜欢
I'm going to put my sweats back on. 我要把运动裤换回来
You know what? You were right. 不要啦！你说得对
We weren't great at being guys. You know why? 我们当男生当得不好 你知道为什么？
Because we're girls. 因为我们是女生
-You know what girls are good at? -Stripping! 你知道女生最擅长什么？ 跳脱衣舞
No,listening! 不，是倾听
Sit. 坐下
Maybe it would really,really help if you would just talk. 如果你肯一吐为快 或许就没事了
Yeah,come on. What's going on in there? 是啊，你的心在想什么？
And you know,if you want to cry, that's okay too. 你想哭也没关系
I'm going to have to ask you all to leave. 我要请你们都离开
Forget it. We tried, but phase three is a lost cause. 算了，我们试过了 但第三阶段没希望了
Those strippers were hot,and l couldn't picture myself with them. 那些舞娘都很辣 我却无法产生性幻想
They really were pretty, weren't they? 她们真的很漂亮
-I liked that fighter pilot one. -Candy? 我喜欢一号战斗机驾驶 糖糖？
She was so spunky! 她好有劲 对啊
I think if I were going to be with a woman... 要是我要跟女人在一起…
...it'd be with someone like Michelle. 我会选蜜雪儿那型的
She was just so petite. 她好娇小
For me,it would have to be Chantal. 我会选香妲
没错 天哪
She had the smoothest skin. 她的皮肤好嫩
I stuck that dollar in her G-string and grazed her thigh 我塞钱给她时 手擦过她的大腿…
Phase three! I just achieved phase three! 第三阶段！ 我进入第三阶段了
I am totally picturing you with all those women! 真的？ 我可以想像你们跟她们在一起
That's not phase three. 那不是第三阶段
Well,I'm there too! 我也在场
Are we all together in a group? 我们在开性派对吗？
Stop it,you're killing me! 别说了，我快疯了
I think I moved on to phase four! 我进入第四阶段了
-What is that? -I don't want a relationship ever! 那是什么？ 我再也不想谈恋爱
I just want sex with strippers and my friends! 只想跟脱衣舞娘和朋友上床
Come on. 来嘛
Let me see that smile. 让我看看你的笑容
I don't want to. 我不想笑
Please? 拜托啦？
I wanted to go to the strip club! 人家想看脱衣舞嘛
You'll have plenty of chances. 你有的是机会
There are thousands of women out there, just waiting to screw me over. 有成千上万的女人等着伤害我
Yeah,all right. 好吧
How was Vermont? 这趟玩得怎样？
Emily is... 艾蜜莉真是…
...incredible. There are no words to describe her. ...太棒了 她好得无法形容
The whole weekend was like a dream. 整个周末就像一场梦
And you! Rach! 还有你，瑞秋
You were so right. 你说得一点也没错
What? 什么？
What you said about us finally being in a place... 你说我们总算到了一个
...where we could really be happy for each other. 可以彼此祝福的阶段
I admit,I wasn't quite there. 我原本没那么放得开
The thought of you and that Josh guy 想到你和那个约许…
Joshua. 约书亚
Joshua guy at that club, dancing,having a good time. 约书亚，在俱乐部里跳舞狂欢
And the thought of it kind of.... 我就觉得…
You know? But now! 你懂吗？但现在…
But now,I'm totally there. 我完全放开了
I'm finally where you are. 我终于跟你一样了
Thank goodness! 谢天谢地
And thank you for Emily. 谢谢你把艾蜜莉介绍给我
No problem. I'm so glad I could help,you know? 不客气，我乐得帮忙
I'm happy for you. 我很替你开心
Happy for you. 我才替你开心
Oh,no,happy for you. 不，我才替你开心
All right. Here's what we'll do. 好，接下来是这样
You are going to take off my clothes. 你帮我脱衣服
You two,go get the oils. 你们两个去拿精油
And you,just constantly scream... 你就一直兴奋的叫
..."Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!" “吾王钱德万岁！”
I want to be with her. I like her. 我想跟她在一起，我喜欢她
That's fine. Go with your instincts! 没问题，大家随意
What am I doing again? 我要做什么？
Pay attention. I could wake up at any moment. 专心一点，我随时都会醒来
I'm Joshua. I'm here to pick up Rachel. 我是约书亚，我来接瑞秋
That's not Joshua. 他不是约书亚
What do you want from me? I never met the guy. 你想怎样？我又没见过他
I'm sorry you can't stay. 可惜你要走了
The rest of us have a lot of work to do. 我们还有很多事要忙
What are you doing? 你干什么？
All right,listen. I got to wake up. 好，我得醒过来