[00:06.03]-I'm ready. -You sure? -
[00:08.74]Let me just straighten out your helmet there.
[00:11.61]-Thanks, Daddy. -No, no. One daddy, two mommies. -
[00:16.98]-All right, it's all yours. -Okay, okay. -
[00:20.22]There you go, there you go.
[00:22.22]Wow, Ben's first big kid's bike. This is so exciting!
[00:26.39]Oh, yeah, I remember mine.
[00:28.56]It was my sixth birthday. I went to the park...
[00:31.26]-and I got on it and it bent. -Yeah. -
[00:35.80]-I never had a bike of my own. -What? -
[00:38.60]We didn't have a lot of money.
[00:40.60]But the girl across the street had the best bike.
[00:43.57]It was pink and it had rainbow-colored tassels hanging off the handles...
[00:48.24]and a bell and this big, white wicker basket...
[00:51.45]with those plastic daisies stuck on.
[00:54.98]That sounds like my first bike.
[00:58.72]My dad gave me his old one.
[01:01.66]-Did the girl ever let you ride it? -No. -
[01:04.03]But she gave me the box that it came in.
[01:06.93]It had a picture of the bike on the front.
[01:10.37]So I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard.
[01:15.34]That is so unfair.
[01:17.31]Not really, I got to drag him around too.
[01:21.04]The One With All the Candy
[00:00.00]
[02:05.29]Hey, what are you guys doing?
[02:07.32]Making candy for the neighbors.
[02:09.86]I'm sorry, who?
[02:12.43]I'm gonna hang a basket on the door.
[02:14.73]When the neighbors walk by,  they can take a piece.
[02:19.10]-But we don't know the neighbors. -I do. -
[02:21.54]There's, let's see,  the guy with the mustache...
[02:24.91]smokes-a-lot lady,  some kids I've seen...
[02:28.51]and the red-haired guy who does not like to be called Rusty.
[02:33.18]See, this is exactly why I'm making this candy.
[02:36.08]We can get to know our neighbors.
[02:38.19]Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved?
[02:43.19]Good morning!
[02:45.59]-Somebody's in a good mood. -Well, why shouldn't I be? -
[02:49.13]I have great friends. I have a wonderful job..
[02:52.33]Where you can make out with your assistant.
[02:55.60]It's not a big deal.
[02:56.97]We stayed up creating a plan so that us dating won't be a problem.
[03:01.24]Oh, yeah? What's the plan?
[03:06.45]We.. We are not...
[03:10.69]going to let it...
[03:12.82]be a problem.
[03:15.52]It took you all night to come up with that plan?
[03:18.83]Well, you know,  we did other stuff too.
[03:22.66]Did you two...?
[03:23.87]Oh, I don't sleep with guys on the first date.
[03:26.67]-Matt Wire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wise.. -Anymore! -
[03:36.24]Hi, Tag, I have a conference call today, is that correct?
[03:39.85]-Yes, at 4. -Okay, thank you, that'll be all. -
[03:43.59]Wait, wait.
[03:49.19]Did you see that?
[03:50.43]He had no idea there was something going on between us.
[04:01.24]-I'd better get back to my desk. -Okay, hard worker. -
[04:06.74]I'll put that in your evaluation.
[04:09.24]-My what? -You've been here for two months now. -
[04:12.25]And your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation.
[04:16.12]But you know, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate.
[04:26.83]-Are you serious? -No, but I've always wanted to do that. -
[04:31.47]Can you help me clean this up?
[04:39.14]The basket is totally empty! The neighbors ate it all!
[04:42.54]Well, either that or...
[04:46.61]Joey!
[04:49.88]Yeah?
[04:51.22]-Did you eat all the neighbor candy? -That was the plan. -
[04:54.56]When I got to it,  there was only a few pieces left.
[04:58.03]They've come by all day. They love it.
[05:00.83]They love my candy?
[05:03.23]-Oh, man, I gotta go make more. -Hey, Mon. -
[05:06.47]Make some more lasagna too. Something might have happened to a chunk of it.
[05:12.34]Ross, the neighbors ate all my candy.
[05:14.71]Mine stole my newspaper.
[05:16.51]It's like a crime wave.
[05:22.25]Phoebe, you got a second?
[05:24.65]Sure.
[05:26.65]Ever since you told me about that bike...
[05:29.32]I couldn't stop thinking about it.
[05:31.69]I mean, everyone should have a first bike, you know? So...
[05:39.23]Oh, my God, Ross!
[05:42.37]-You like it? -I love it! -
[05:44.47]-Yeah? -Oh, oh, God..
[05:46.97]And I love you.
[05:49.38]Not that way.
[05:51.51]But the bike got you a lot closer.
[05:54.35]Well, take it downstairs.
[05:56.35]You know, give it a test drive.
[05:58.39]Okay. Oh, my God.
[06:01.02]My first bike!
[06:03.22]Thank you for the best present I've ever gotten.
[06:06.86]You're welcome.
[06:10.63]Oh, and Chandler's about to cry.
[06:15.04]Am not.
[06:20.94]
[06:22.88]Don't worry, I'm brave.
[06:24.61]I.. I am brave.
[06:28.52]No, no, no, no!
[06:31.59]Can you tell me who is there, please?
[06:34.92]My name's Gary. I live upstairs.
[06:39.93]-Hi. -Hi.
[06:41.43]-Do you know what time it is? -It's candy time. -
[06:45.47]My roommate says they taste like little drops of heaven.
[06:48.80]Oh, please.
[06:51.04]Did you hear that? "Little drops of heaven."
[06:55.44]Four a.m.
[06:57.25]So can I get some candy?
[06:59.65]I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work.
[07:04.35]He does not know that I am not "some of us."
[07:09.76]I'm sorry, but I'll put some out in the morning.
[07:12.96]Okay, I'll swing by later.
[07:15.60]You live in this building?
[07:18.63]Seems like I'd remember you.
[07:23.70]Night, Gar.
[07:37.95]So did you read your evaluation yet?
[07:40.49]No, it was marked "confidential."
[07:43.12]I just sent it to human resources.
[07:48.53]Please, you're kidding, right? I wrote that one as a joke for you.
[07:52.63]A joke they would appreciate?
[07:54.67]I'm thinking, no.
[07:57.71]-What did you say? -I said you were a good kisser... -
[08:02.31]and that I liked your teeny, tiny tushy.
[08:07.62]No, not my tushy.
[08:10.02]It gets worse.
[08:11.35]About your initiative, I wrote:
[08:13.69]"He was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision." “
[08:18.33]Under problems with performance,  I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not."
[08:23.50]And then.. And then I drew a little smiley face.
[08:27.77]And then a small pornographic sketch.
[08:40.28]That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike.
[08:43.42]When I heard the story, I almost cried.
[08:45.92]Almost cried, huh?
[08:47.69]Hear that, Chandler? "Almost" cried.
[08:51.26]Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic.
[08:54.90]Those two had only each other.
[08:58.47]She really likes it, huh?
[09:00.10]Oh, yeah. I saw her walking it down the street.
[09:02.90]She had these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
[09:06.24]I saw her this morning, walking it by the park.
[09:09.88]Wait, she was walking the bike?
[09:12.11]Both times?
[09:15.05]-Hey, Phoebe. -Oh, hi!
[09:17.49]-Hey, so you enjoying the bike? -Oh, uh-huh, so much. -
[09:21.99]Phoebe, you do know how to ride a bike, don't you?
[09:28.90]Of course.
[09:32.20]Can we see you ride it?
[09:33.83]Okay.
[09:49.82]See?
[09:59.79]I told you not to get involved with your assistant.
[10:02.80]There's no such thing as a secret when it comes to affairs.
[10:07.10]Did you hear that, Chandler?
[10:09.97]No such thing.
[10:13.04]What happened? I'm just eating candy.
[10:17.55]Maybe it's not that bad. They might not take it the way I meant it.
[10:21.58]Absolutely, you know? Because "tushy" can mean both ass...
[10:25.55]and good worker.
[10:28.86]I just gotta get the thing back.
[10:31.16]Rach? That sketch you mentioned?
[10:33.33]Might it have looked a little like this?
[10:36.36]Oh, my God, Joey!
[10:39.90]-What is the matter with you? -God! -
[10:43.90]This little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
[10:53.15]Hi, I'm sorry. I know it's after hours, but I really need candy.
[10:57.99]I'm sorry, I can't help you. See? Rules are rules.
[11:01.26]Please, I have people coming from out of town today.
[11:04.46]-I told them all about your candy. -You're kidding. -
[11:07.56]Out-of-towners, huh? What did you tell them?
[11:10.80]I told them your candy was absolutely indescribable.
[11:14.47]Some people have said it's "little drops of heaven." But whatever.
[11:20.01]-Please, can't you help me out? -Hey, Chandler, do we know that lady? -
[11:24.18]Isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
[11:28.45]All right, I'll do it just this once.
[11:30.85]-But you can't tell anyone. -Please, just give it to me. -
[11:34.32]Yeah, that's her.
[11:37.32]-Thank you. -Unbelievable! -
[11:39.53]I can't believe that sign didn't work.
[11:42.16]You know what would work? Stop making candy.
[11:46.10]But they like it.
[11:48.24]You mean they like you.
[11:51.01]Maybe.
[11:52.37]Is that why you became a chef,  so people would like you?
[11:55.84]You want to talk about getting people to like you, huh, funny man?
[12:09.62]Just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine.
[12:13.06]Okay? Here we go.
[12:15.03]Ready, set..
[12:17.16]Wait, this seat is really uncomfortable.
[12:20.33]Maybe before we start we should just get another one.
[12:23.67]Perhaps like an airplane seat, or a beanbag chair!
[12:28.01]You can't get out of this. You have to learn how to ride a bike.
[12:32.38]Why? Why do I have to learn?
[12:36.28]-Well, in case of an emergency. -What kind of emergency? -
[12:40.89]Well, what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says:
[12:45.56]"You ride this bike or I'll..
[12:48.53]I'll shoot you."
[12:51.37]I would ring the bell to distract him.
[12:53.90]Then I would knock the gun away with a Chinese throwing star.
[12:58.74]Okay, Phoebe, just get on the bike...
[13:02.24]and, hey, I'll hold you up and push you. Okay?
[13:07.41]You won't let go?
[13:09.18]-No. -You swear? -
[13:10.68]I swear.
[13:13.79]-Okay. -Come on.
[13:18.69]Here we go. All right?
[13:20.39]All right?
[13:21.66]Feel good? All right, try pedaling.
[13:23.83]That's it, you're doing great. Yes, take control.
[13:27.23]Yes, yes, yes!
[13:31.84]Oh, no!
[13:35.48]You swore!
[13:36.98]-I just thought you were doing so well. -I am shocked. Shocked! -
[13:46.25]It's a legitimate learning technique.
[13:49.89]Wow.
[13:59.80]Hey, there's some people outside asking about candy.
[14:04.37]They'll just have to wait, okay? I only got two hands!
[14:08.18]-Need some help? -No, you don't know the system. -
[14:11.48]I don't need nobody messing with the system!
[14:14.82]By the way, the week before your wedding, you may not see a lot of me.
[14:29.40]Oh, hello, liar.
[14:33.87]Look, I'm really sorry I let go of the bike.
[14:37.91]I could've been killed, you know.
[14:41.91]I know, I know.
[14:45.45]But can we please try it again?
[14:47.85]I mean, you were so close, Phoebe.
[14:50.38]Well, I would love to...
[14:53.72]but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects.
[15:03.40]-Phoebe. -What?
[15:07.77]What the hell?
[15:11.14]You know what?
[15:12.41]If you won't learn how to ride,  then I'm sorry...
[15:15.74]-I have to take it back. -But why? -
[15:19.08]Because it's...
[15:22.25]It'd be like you having this guitar...
[15:25.85]and never playing it.
[15:27.89]Okay, this guitar wants to be played.
[15:30.99]And this bike wants to be ridden.
[15:34.36]And if you don't ride it...
[15:36.86]you're killing its spirit.
[15:42.90]The bike...
[15:45.07]is dying.
[15:50.81]All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
[15:55.82]Great.
[15:59.79]You're making the bike very happy.
[16:02.02]Okay, Ross.
[16:06.19]Please don't die!
[16:11.63]To get the evaluation before they see it...
[16:14.34]we gotta get into Zelner's office. He doesn't get in until 10.
[16:19.11]But his assistant, Betty, comes in early to eat breakfast at her desk.
[16:23.34]-That's kind of sad. -Yeah, well, Betty's kind of sad. -
[16:27.01]Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates.
[16:32.32]While I distract her, you go in.
[16:34.62]-Got it. -Let's roll. -
[16:37.69]Hello, Rachel. You got a minute?
[16:40.13]Yeah, sure, Mr. Zelner. For you? Anything. Minute.
[16:43.66]Okay, great.
[16:45.73]Abort the plan.
[16:48.14]Actually, I'd like to speak to both of you.
[16:51.24]Okay.
[16:53.57]Well, can we get you anything,  Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates.
[16:59.58]No, thanks,  but I'll give these to Betty.
[17:04.35]So, I read your evaluation of Tag.
[17:07.32]Or, to use his full name,  Tag "Sweet Cheeks" Jones?
[17:12.39]Is something going on with you two?
[17:16.06]Oh, my God,  can you imagine if there was?
[17:21.97]I mean, what would happen exactly?
[17:26.71]Well, I'd be forced to file a report.
[17:29.41]I'd have to consult with the legal department.
[17:32.35]And your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
[17:36.75]-Well.. -Mr. Zelner...
[17:39.05]I filled in that evaluation.
[17:41.42]-Oh, no.. -Yeah, yeah.
[17:43.02]I thought it would be funny.
[17:46.29]You wrote that you have a cute tushy?
[17:50.73]Yes.
[17:52.00]I have a weird sense of humor.
[17:54.70]And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt.
[17:58.64]It's kind of a risky joke, Tag.
[18:01.51]What is this drawing? I can't figure it out.
[18:04.41]It's upside down, you gotta.. It doesn't matter.
[18:09.15]It's not like I don't have a sense of humor.
[18:11.89]Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick every now and then.
[18:18.09]There's a time and a place.
[18:21.73]Unless you have a limerick right now.
[18:27.03]No? Okay. Well, you've got my fax number.
[18:38.81]I can't believe you did that. That was sweet.
[18:41.62]-Don't worry about it. -You could've lost your job. -
[18:44.75]Are you kidding me? With this cute butt, I'd find work.
[18:50.16]Thank you, you're great.
[18:54.19]-You know what? -What?
[18:56.43]I feel great.
[18:58.83]In fact...
[19:05.44]What?
[19:07.17]It's just.. It took me so long to get that desk organized.
[19:11.45]I'm sorry.
[19:14.35]There it is.
[19:28.16]What is going on?
[19:29.60]We're waiting for the candy. Bring out the candy!
[19:33.17]Yeah, lady, give us candy.
[19:37.10]Joey!
[19:39.04]-What's up, buddy? -What are you doing? -
[19:42.91]Waiting to get candy.
[19:45.15]Get in here.
[19:47.11]Hey, and you cannot smoke in here.
[19:54.05]Merry Christmas.
[19:56.66]The candy is coming! I need another 15 minutes for it to cool.
[20:02.40]All right, everybody, just be quiet. Be quiet! Be quiet! Pipe down!
[20:07.23]What is the matter with you people?
[20:09.57]This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you.
[20:12.91]She was making candy so she could get to know all of you...
[20:16.58]and I'll bet that not one of you can tell me her name.
[20:20.25]Am I right?
[20:22.42]Candy Lady?
[20:25.59]No, not "Candy Lady."
[20:28.69]If we know it, can we have candy?
[20:32.23]All right, you know what?
[20:34.70]Forget it, you've ruined it.
[20:36.93]Go home. You've ruined it.
[20:39.20]That's all wrong! You guys ruined everything. You ruined it!
[20:49.78]-Thank you. -You're welcome. -
[20:54.38]Did you smoke?
[20:56.18]No, smokes-a-lot lady blew smoke directly into my mouth.
[21:02.59]Are you okay?
[21:04.19]Fine, but it was really scary for a while.
[21:06.99]Someone slipped a threatening note under the door!
[21:10.30]Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever.
[21:25.18]I can't believe it. I did it. I rode a bike!
[21:28.58]I never thought I'd be able to do that. Thank you.
[21:31.79]Oh, hey, don't thank me. Thank yourself.
[21:34.35]You're the one who faced your fears and ultimately overcame them.
[21:38.39]Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an After School Special.
[00:00.00]undefined