Bye-bye. 再见
I just got reservations at Michelle's... 我在米雪餐厅订好位子了…
and tickets to The Music Man to celebrate... 还有《音乐人》的票来庆祝…
our first holiday as a betrothed couple. 我们成为订婚夫妻后 第一个正式的节日
-"Betrothed." -Betrothed couple. -“订婚” -订婚夫妻
-Hi. -Hi. -嘿！ -嗨！
Phoebe? 菲比？
Skull? 骷髅头？
Yeah, it's my mom's. 是啊，是我妈的
Oh, my God! 我的天！
No, no, no. It's not my mom. 不，不，不，不是我妈
It belonged to my mom. 是属于我妈的
She used to put it out every Christmas... 她以前每次耶诞节都会拿出来…
to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die. 要我们记得即使是耶诞节 人还是会死的
And you can put candy in it. 可以放糖果在里面
Licorice? 吃糖？
Sure. 好啊
-I get Ben for the holidays this year. -That's great! -今年班和我一起过节 -太好了！
-Are you gonna dress up as Santa? -Nope. -你要扮成耶诞老公公吗？ -不
I know Susan does every year. 我知道苏珊每年都这么做…
I want to take this year to teach him about Hanukkah. 可是今年我想教他了解光明节
And maybe I could teach Ben... 也许我能教班…
about the Christmas skull and how people die. 有关耶诞骷髅头和人怎么死亡
You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe. 你可以在今年教班认识菲比
嘿
-Did you know he was in there? -No. -你知道他在里面吗？ -不知道
-How long have we been home? -About half an hour. -我们回来多久了？ -大概半小时
Lovely. 好极了
The One With The Holiday Armadillo 本集播出：佳节犰狳

（中央公园咖啡厅）
You know what I was thinking? When we get married, will you... 你知道我在想什么？ 我们结婚后，你要不要…
change your name to "Bing"? 改挂夫姓“宾”？
No. 不要
Why not? 为什么不？
Bing's weird. “宾”很奇怪
Oh, hey, you guys. 你们好
My landlord just called. My apartment's gonna be ready soon. 猜猜怎么着，我房东刚通知我 我的房子快好了
I guess I'll be moving out. 我很快就会搬出去了
Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you. 菲比，我会想念你的
Yes, you will be very sad. 是啊，你会很伤心
-I gotta go tell Rachel the good news. -You'll be living together again? -我要告诉瑞秋这个好消息 -你们要再一起住？
-Why not? -She's having so much fun with Joey... -是啊，为什么不？ -她和乔伊住得很开心…
I assumed she'd still be living with him. 我以为她还会 继续和他住在一起
Why do you think she's having so much fun? 为什么你认为 她和乔伊住得很开心？
No reason, except she... 没为什么，只是...
told me. 她这么说
She said she didn't want to live with me? 真的？她说她不要和我住？
No. No, she didn't say that. 没有，她没这么说
I think you should talk to Monica now. 我想你该和摩妮卡说话了
Phoebe, I'm sure she wants to live with you. 菲比，别担心 我确定她想和你住的
You're absolutely sure? 你确定？你很肯定？
No, but I'll bet she probably does. 不，我打赌她大概会
Oh, probably? 大概？
I don't like that word. 我不喜欢这个字
I know what "probably" really means. Yeah, yeah. 我知道“大概”真正的意思 是啊，是啊
"Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself." “你妈大概不会自杀”
I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging my hopes... 对不起，我不要把我和瑞秋…
of Rachel and I living together on "probably." 住在一起的希望寄托在“大概”上面
You gotta take care of yourself in this world. 人在这世上要自己照顾自己
History teaches us nothing. 历史教训完全没用
Bing doesn't seem so weird now,  does it? “宾”现在不是那么奇怪了吧？
You're home. 太好了，你在家
Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas? 猜猜菲比送我什么耶诞礼物
-Drums? -No, drums! -鼓？ -不，鼓！
Could we get two burritos to go, please? 请给我们两个墨西哥卷外带
I'm sorry. But not that sorry, you don't have to live with it. 抱歉，不过没那么抱歉 因为你不用和他在一起生活
We have a reservation under Bing. 我们用钱德宾的名字订了位子
Okay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes. 好的，大约再45分钟
45 minutes? We have tickets to The Music Man at 8. 45分钟？《音乐人》的票是8点的
I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir. 抱歉，耶诞节是最忙的时候
Is this because of the burrito thing? 这是因为墨西哥卷的玩笑吗？
-You need to give him money. -Give him money? It was a joke! -要给他钱 -给他钱？那只是个玩笑！
To get a table. Places like this are always shaking you down. 不，为了我们的位子 这种地方都是死要钱的
-Everybody wants a payoff. -All right, calm down, O'Malley. -每个人都要小费 -好，镇静下来
-I'll slip him some money. -But you've got to be smooth. -我会塞钱给他 -可是要不着痕迹
Hey, I can be smooth. 嘿，我可以不着痕迹
We're in a hurry. If you could get us a table... 我们有点赶时间 如果可以让我们早一点…
a bit quicker, I'd appreciate it. 排到位子，我会很感激
-Of course, sir. -Okay. -当然，先生 -好
-How'd it go? -Had the money in the wrong hand. -怎么样？ -钱在另一只手里
You don't feel... 你会不会…
-Like you're gonna throw up? -No. -想吐？ -不会
Well, I do. So let's... 我会，我们…
So, Ben, you... 班，你…
You know what holiday is coming up? 你知道快过节了，对不对？
Christmas. 耶诞节
Yeah, and you know what other holiday is coming up? 对，你知道另一个节日也要到了？
Christmas Eve. 耶诞夜
Yes, but also... 对，但…
Hanukkah! 光明节也是！
See, you're part Jewish and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday. 你是一半犹太人 光明节是犹太人的节日
Santa has reindeers that can fly. 耶诞老公公有会飞的縻鹿
Right, but on Hanukkah.. 对，但在光明节…
Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. 光明节是庆祝一个奇迹
Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees. 很多年前，有一群人叫做犸加伯人
Okay, that's right. Yes... 好，对，是的…
but on Hanukkah, we sing: 但在光明节，我们唱的是：
Okay, it's not a contest. 好，这不是比赛
When is Santa coming? 耶诞老公公什么时候来？
How about this year,  instead of Santa... 这样好不好，今年我们 不要耶诞老公公…
we have fun celebrating Hanukkah? 我们来庆祝光明节？
No Santa? 没有耶诞老公公？
Was I bad? 我不乖吗？
No, no, no, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben. 不，不，你没有不乖 你今年很乖，班
-Santa's mad at me. -No, hey, hey, come on. -耶诞老公公生我的气 -不是，嘿，嘿
Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? 班，耶诞老公公 没有生你的气，好吗？
You're his favorite little guy. 你是他最喜欢的小孩
So Santa's coming? 耶诞老公公会来啰？
Yes! 对！
Santa's coming. 耶诞老公公会来
It's easy. Just keep it casual. 很简单，保持轻松
Shake his hand and give him the money. 说句好话，和他握手，塞钱给他
-How do you know so much about this? -I don't know. -你怎么这么了解？ -我不知道
Richard used to do it, didn't he? 理查以前常这么做，是不是？
We'd be eating our soup right now. 我们现在可能已经在喝汤了
Mustached bastard. 可恶的小胡子
Those people just left. Come on. Quick, give him the money. 这些人刚走，快，给他钱
Excuse me. 对不起
我们赶时间，可不可以…？
So you like the drums. 你喜欢鼓
That's great. 真好
I was worried that they would create maybe... 我本来还担心它们会造成…
an unbearable living situation. 无法忍耐的居住状况
But, okay, well, apparently not. So, yay! 好吧，看来没有，好！
Hey, we already learned a song. 菲比，我们学会了一首歌
Ready? One, two, three, four. 准备好了？1，2，3，4
Tequila! 塔奇拉！
That's fun. 真好玩
Here you go. 来了
Thank you, Gunther. Put her there. 谢谢，阿甘，放在这里
Definitely not easier with coins. 用铜板没有更容易些
-Thank you. -Thank you. -谢谢 -谢谢
Hey, Phoebe. -菲比 -嘿
Here. Now I only owe you $49.50. 给你，现在我欠你49块半
Hey, Phoebe... 菲比…
if you want to get Joey a gift that disrupts the entire building... 如果你要送乔伊 毁掉整栋楼的耶诞礼物…
why not something more subtle... 何不送更微妙一点的…
Like a wrecking ball... 像是铁锤…
or a vial of small pox to release in the hallway? 或是天花病毒散播在走廊上？
It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes... 不只是鼓的声音，每5分钟…
Joey throws his sticks in the air... 乔伊把鼓棒丢到空中…
and I have to hear: "Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!" 然后我就会听到： “我的眼睛！我的眼睛！”
-I mean, it's so annoying. -Yes, thank you. -烦死人了 -谢谢你
You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums. 你看，这是正常人对鼓的反应
You got Joey drums to annoy Rachel... 菲比，你送乔伊鼓是为了烦瑞秋…
so she wouldn't want to live there anymore? 让她不想继续住在那里？
Maybe on some level. 可能有一点
You could just not throw the sticks up in the air. 乔伊，你知道你不用丢鼓棒的
What is rock 'n' roll about that? 那怎么能算是摇滚乐呢？
Hey, Joey, I got you another present. 乔伊，送你另一个礼物
Hold it! Before you tell me what it is... 等一下！先不要告诉我是什么…
Okay, what is it? 是什么？
It's a... 是一只…
tarantula! 毒蜘蛛！
God, Rachel, I'm sorry. What was I thinking... 瑞秋，抱歉，我在想什么…
giving Joey this big, gross,  scary spider... 送乔伊这么一个 恶心的，可怕的蜘蛛…
in such a poorly constructed cage? 还用这么一个松散的笼子？
What are you talking about? I love them. 你在说什么？我喜欢它
I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it died because my cat ate it. 我小时候就有一只 后来我的猫咪吃掉了它
And then my cat died. 然后猫咪死了
But, Joey, isn't this cool? 乔伊，这不是很酷吗？
Is it on me? I feel like it's on me. I got.. 在我身上吗？ 我觉得它在我身上，我…
Oh, isn't that adorable? 不是很可爱吗？
Joey is afraid of the tarantula. 乔伊怕蜘蛛
He's so adorable. 他好可爱呦
He's so much fun. 老天，他很好玩
I'm glad you're having so much fun here. 乔伊是最棒的 很高兴你在这里住得很开心
Wait a minute. 等一下
What's the matter? 怎么回事？
Our apartment is ready. 我们的房子好了
And that makes you angry because...? 你不高兴因为…？
Because you'd rather live here with Joey. 因为你比较想和乔伊住在这里
-Where did you get that? -Monica and Chandler... -你为什么这么想？ -摩妮卡和钱德…
said you were having so much fun here... 说你和乔伊住得很开心…
and apparently no amount of drums or tarantula is gonna change that. 而且不管是鼓还是毒蜘蛛 都不会改变这点
Did you get all this stuff for Joey... 菲比，你送乔伊这些东西…
to try to drive me out of the apartment? 是要让我不想住在这里？
You might as well have gotten him a fish. 你还不如送他一条鱼
You know how fish freak me out. 你知道我有多怕鱼
Fish. 鱼
But it wouldn't have mattered. We're gonna live together. 这些都不重要，我们会一起住的
We're roommates. That's the deal. 我们是室友，讲好的
Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me. 对，可是我希望你想和我一起住
But if you're having so much fun over here.. 可是如果你在这里住得这么开心…
It's so much more fun with you. 和你在一起更开心
-We did have fun, didn't we? -We did. -我们住一起时很开心，是不？ -对啊，好玩得不得了
They say, if we want,  we could see it tonight. 他们说如果要的话，今晚可以去看
-I would love to. -Yay, okay! -好啊 -好，好！
-Good, good, good. -Great. All right. Good. -好，好 -好
And Monica asked me to make the drumming stop. 摩妮卡要我停止鼓声
Done. 好了
（万圣节探险，面具大师）
Hello, sir. You here to return those pants? 你好，要退还那件裤子吗？
No, these are my pants. 不，这是我的裤子
Okay. 是
-How can I help you? -Do you have a Santa outfit left? -需要什么？ -还有没有耶诞老公公衣服？
Two days before Christmas? Sorry, man. 耶诞节前两天？抱歉
Okay, look. Do you have anything Christmas-y? 好吧，有没有什么 比较算是耶诞节的？
I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him. 我答应了我儿子，不想让他失望
Come on, you gotta have something. 你们一定有的
I'm the Holiday Armadillo! 我是佳节犰狳！
I'm a friend of Santa's... 我是耶诞老公公的朋友…
and he sent me here to wish you... 他要我来祝你…
a merry Christmas! 耶诞快乐！
What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo? 耶诞老公公怎么了，佳节犰狳？
Santa was unavailable... 耶诞老公公没有空…
so close to Christmas. 在这么接近耶诞节的时候
Come in, have a seat. 请进，请坐
You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas. 你一定累坏了，大老远从德州跑来
-Texas? -That's right, Ben. -德州？ -对，班
I'm Santa's representative... 我是耶诞老公公的…
for all the Southern states. 西南州代表
And Mexico! 还有墨西哥！
But Santa sent me here... 耶诞老公公要我来这里…
to give you these presents, Ben. 送礼物给你
Maybe the lady will help me with these presents. 这位小姐可以帮我拿礼物
Wow, thanks! 谢谢！
You're welcome, Ben. 不客气，班
Merry Christmas. 耶诞快乐
And happy Hanukkah! 光明节快乐！
Are you for Hanukkah too? Because I'm part Jewish. 你也为光明节而来吗？ 因为我是一半犹太人
You are? Me too. 你是？我也是
Because armadillos also wandered in the desert? 因为犰狳也在沙漠里晃荡？
You want to wander in the hall? 你想在走廊晃荡吗？
Hey, Ben! 班！
What if the Holiday Armadillo... 佳节犰狳…
told you all about the Festival of Lights? 跟你说光之节的故事好吗？
Cool! 酷！
Come on, Ben. 来，班
Years and years ago... 很多年以前…
there were these people called... 有一群人，叫做…
-the Maccabees! -Ho, ho, ho! -犸加伯人！ -呵！呵！呵！
Merry Christmas! 耶诞快乐！
Santa! -耶诞老公公！ -嘿！
What are you doing here, Santa? 你来干什么，耶诞老公公？
Well, I'm here to see my old buddy, Ben. 我来看我的老朋友班
What are you doing here... 你在这儿干什么…
Weird Turtle Man? 怪乌龟人？
I'm the Holiday Armadillo... 我是佳节犰狳…
your part-Jewish friend. 你的半犹太人朋友
You sent me here to give Ben some presents. 你要我来送礼物给班
Remember? 记得吗？
What? 什么？
Did you bring me any presents, Santa? 耶诞老公公，你有带礼物给我吗？
You bet I did, Ben. 当然有，班
Put her there. 放在这里
Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren't so damn small. 如果不是他的手太小，会成功的
Ho, ho, ho! 呵！呵！呵！
Ben, come open more gifts. 班，来开礼物
The armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen. 耶诞老公公，佳节犰狳和我 要在厨房谈一谈
There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. 我绝对想不到会说出这句话
What are you doing? 你在干什么？
You said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume... 你告诉每个人说 你找不到耶诞老公公衣服…
so I borrowed one from a guy at work. 所以我向同事借了一件
Thank you, but you gotta leave. 谢谢，你必须离开
-Why? -Because... -为什么？ -因为…
I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah... 我终于让他对光明节有兴趣…
and you're wrecking it. 而你正在破坏
But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly. 可是我还没摇我的胜子呢
I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me. 抱歉，钱德，这对我很重要
Fine, I'll give the suit back. 好，我去还这件衣服
Hey, you think you can keep it another night? 你可以再多借一晚吗？
Santa, really? 耶诞老公公？真的？
Yeah, is that okay? 是啊，可以吗？
Did your dad ever dress up like Santa? 你爸有扮过耶诞老公公吗？
-No. -Then it's okay! -没有 -那就可以！
Okay, Ben. Santa has to go. 班，耶诞老公公要走了
Say goodbye. 说再见
No, why does he have to go? 不要，他为什么要走？
Because if Santa and the Holiday... 因为耶诞老公公和佳节…
Armadillo... 犰狳…
are ever in the same room for too long... 如果在同一个房子里太久…
the universe will implode! 宇宙会爆炸！
Merry Christmas! 耶诞快乐！
No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa. 不要，为什么不是犰狳走呢？ 我要耶诞老公公
Fine, I give up. Santa.. 好，我放弃，耶诞老公公…
Santa can stay! 耶诞老公公可以留下来！
Well, I'll stay... 我留下来…
but only because I want to hear about Hanukkah. 因为我想听光明节的故事
Ben, will you sit here with Santa... 班，你要不要和耶诞老公公…
and learn about Hanukkah? 一起坐下来听光明节的故事？
Okay, Santa. 好的
-Thank you. -You're welcome. -谢谢 -不客气
All right, it's time... 好，来听…
for the story of Hanukkah. 光明节的故事
Years and years ago... 很多年以前…
there were these people called the Maccabees! 有一群人叫犸加伯人！
Merry Christmas! 耶诞快乐！
Oh, wow, look at this place! 看看这地方！
Oh, this is terrible. 真糟糕
They've made so many changes... 他们改了很多…
I can't even feel my grandmother's presence anymore. 我感受不到我祖母的存在
Oh, new sconces! 新的烛台！
-Oh, my God! -What? -我的天！ -怎么？
Remember how you told me your grandmother put up that wall... 记得你告诉我你祖母要做一道墙…
-to make that into two bedrooms? -Yeah. -来隔成两间房？ -对
And that the landlord might find out... 房东可能会发现…
-and then tear it down? -Yeah? -把它拆了？ -对？
Do you really not know where I'm going? 你真的不知道我说这些的原因？
It left. It's one huge room. 墙没有了，是一间大房间
Oh, no! 哦，不！
Wow! 哇！
See? 看到了？
I guess we'll have to put the wall back up. 我们必须要把墙弄回来
-You can't, with the new skylight. -There's a skylight? -不行，因为新的天窗 -有天窗？
Wow! 哇！
So should we start looking for a new place? 我们该怎么办？要开始找新地方吗？
You know, I'm sensing... 我感到…
that my grandmother would not be comfortable with that. 我祖母可能不喜欢那样
Oh, yeah? 是吗？
Starting to feel her again there,  are we? 又能感觉到她了，是吗？
-A little bit. Yeah. -Yeah. -有一点，对 -是
Is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone? 菲比，你祖母是不是说 你应该一个人住这里？
You heard it too? You have the gift. 你也听见了？你有天份
Phoebe, it's okay. 菲比，没关系
I like living with Joey. 我喜欢和乔伊住
-Are you sure? -Please. I hate packing... -你确定吗？ -拜托，我讨厌打包…
it's closer to work. 那里离公司比较近
And we do have fun. 我们在一起很开心
Although, I'm really gonna miss living with you. 虽然我真的会想念和你住在一起
-Oh, me too. -I know. -我也是 -我知道
Did you hear that? 等一下，你有没有听到？
I'm getting something from your grandmother. 听，我听到你祖母说话
She said since you get to keep the one-bedroom apartment... 她说既然你要一个人住这里…
you should give Rachel the purple chair. 你该把那把紫色椅子给瑞秋
No, I do not hear that. 没有，我没有听到
And the miracle was that that little bit of oil... 奇迹在于那一点点的油…
that should have lasted just one day, burned for.... 应该只够烧一天的，却烧了…
-Eight whole days. -That's right. -整整8天 -对
And that's why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end. 这就是为什么我们 今天庆祝光明节，故事完结
-Awesome. -Yeah. -好棒 -是啊
My favorite part... 我最喜欢的部份…
was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. 是超人救出全埃及的犹太人
The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part. 犰狳不是那么喜欢那部份
Okay, Ben, it's time to light... 班，该来点…
the Hanukkah candles! 光明节蜡烛！
嘿
Wow! Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here. 哇！好像是复活节兔子的葬礼
Come on, come on. We're lighting the candles. 来，来，我们要点蜡烛
I understand why Superman is here... 我了解为什么超人在这里…
but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral? 但为什么有豪猪 参加复活节兔子的葬礼？
-You get it? -I got it. -你弄好了吗？ -弄好了
Back in the cage? 它进笼子了没？
It's back in the cage. 它在笼子里了
Is the cage closed? 笼子关好了吗？
Joey, will you just come out here and stop being such a baby! 乔伊，出来好吗？ 别像个小孩一样！