Oh, hey! How was your audition? 试镜如何？ I'm sorry, do I know you? 对不起，我认识你吗？ What are you doing? 你在干嘛？ Practicing blowing you off. I'm gonna be a big movie star! 练习假装不认识你 我要成为电影明星了！ You got it? 你得到那个角色了？ -Not yet, but the audition went great! -What's it for? -还没，但试镜很成功！ -什么样的角色？ A big-budget period movie about three Italian brothers... 大成本制作 关于三个意大利兄弟… who come to America at the turn of the century. It's classy. 在世纪之初来到美国 是个经典故事 The director's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese. 导演被认为是 下下个马丁史柯西斯 The "next-next"? “下下个”？ A guy from Chicago's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese. 芝加哥的那个家伙被认为是 下一个马丁史柯西斯 This guy's right after him. 这个导演在他之后 Hello? 喂？ Joey, it's Estelle. I just talked to the casting people. They loved you! 乔伊，我是艾思拉，刚和选角的谈过 他们很喜欢你！ They loved me! 他们很喜欢我！ They want to see you again tomorrow. 他们明天要再见你一次 -My God! -There's just one thing. -我的天！ -只有一个问题 Do you have a problem with full-frontal nudity? 你对正面**有问题吗？ Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! 你开玩笑吗？我从没租过 一部没有正面**的电影！ Oh. 哦 Okay, let me call you back. 好，我再回你电话 -What's the matter? -They want me naked in the movie. -怎么回事？ -电影里需要我** -Wow! -I know. -哇！ -是啊 -My grandmother's gonna see this. -Grandma's gonna have to get in line. -我祖母会看到的 -祖母还得排队咧 The One With Ross and Monica's Cousin 本集播出：罗斯和摩妮卡的表妹 The wedding's so close. Are you nervous? 婚礼就快到了 你紧张吗？ Yeah, but I also can't wait till it's over. 是啊，我等不及它结束 We have a pact not to have sex again until the wedding. 我们决定婚礼前不**的 A "no sex" pact, huh? “无性”条约，嗯？ I have one of those with every woman in America. 我和全美每位女性 都有一份这个合约 Will you give me a hand making up the guest bedroom? 你能帮我整理客房吗？ Cousin Cassie's staying with us for a few days. 凯西要来和我们住几天 Cassie? I haven't seen her in, like, forever. 凯西？我很久没看到她了 I wonder if she still carries a Barbie everywhere? 她是不是还带着 芭比娃娃到处跑？ -She's 25 years old. -So? I still.. -她25岁了 -所以呢？我还是… You're probably right. 你大概是对的 Phoebe, can I talk to you over here for a second? 菲比，我可以和你说句话吗？ Subtle, guys. 要低调一点 What? 什么？ I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower. 我知道你们在计划 我的惊喜告别单身派对 Okay, well, don't ruin it. Just play along, at least. 好吧，别毁了它 至少假装不知道 Okay. Sorry. 好，对不起 We have to throw her a shower? 我们要替她办告别单身女子派对？ What'd you decide to do about the movie? 你决定那部电影该怎么办了吗？ I don't know. 我不知道，我是说… It's not like it's porn. This is a serious, legitimate movie. 那不是一部色情电影 这是一部严肃，正当的电影 Nudity's really important to the story. 这个故事里的裸戏很重要 That's what you say about porn. 你也是这么说色情电影的 Maybe I shouldn't go on the callback. 也许别去参加第二次试镜 No, you should. A lot of major actors do nude scenes. 不，你应该去 很多大明星都有裸戏演出 The chance to star in a movie? Come on! 在电影里演出的机会？拜托！ That's true. And I'm only naked in one scene. It sounds really great. 是真的，我只有一场裸戏 听起来真的很不错 My character's Catholic. He falls in love with a Jewish girl. 我的角色是个天主教徒 和一位犹太女孩恋爱了 We run away and get caught in a big rainstorm. 我们逃家而被陷在大雨中 We go into a barn, undress each other and hold each other. 躲到了谷仓里 脱掉彼此衣服，抱在一起 It's really sweet and tender. 真的很甜蜜而温柔 Plus, everyone will see your thing! 还有，每个人都看到你那话儿！ When can we have this shower? 我们何时能开这个告别单身女子派对？ She has so much going on, we have only two options. 她有这么多事要做 我们只有两个选择 -We have Friday. -That's just two days away. -星期五 -只剩两天了 -What is the other option? -Yesterday. -另一个选择是什么？ -昨天 If we make it yesterday, we're done! 如果我们昨天就做好了 问题解决了！ It's impossible. We can't do this by Friday. 不可能 我们不可能在星期五办 We have to find a place, invite people, get food. 要找到一个地点 邀请客人，买好食物 There's too much to do. 太多要做的 -We cannot do it! -Calm down! -办不到！ -镇静下来！ Okay. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry. 好，抱歉，你是对的，抱歉 Just calm down, woman! 镇静下来，女人！ Phoebe, I already did. 菲比，我已经镇静下来了 All right, then I need to calm down. 好，那我需要镇静 I think we can do this if we just get organized. 有系统一点就能办这件事 We have two days to plan this party. We need to make fast decisions. 有两天来计划这个聚会 做决定要快 Where will we have it? 要在哪里办？ -Here. What time? -4:00. Food? -在这里，什么时间？ -4点正，食物？ -Finger sandwiches and tea. -Great! Very Monica. -小三明治和茶 -好极了！很摩妮卡 -And chili! -You went one too far. -还有辣椒！ -太过头了 -Flowers or balloons? -Both. -花还是气球？ -两个都要 -We're paying for this. -Neither. -我们要付钱的 -两个都不要 -What should we do for a theme? -Lusts of the Flesh! -主题要什么呢？ -肌夫之爱！ -What? -I don't know. Cowboy theme? -什么？ -我不知道，牛仔风？ I'm glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding. 我很高兴我们决定婚礼前不上床 Oh, boy. Me too. 我也是 I was thinking, say we had a big fight, and broke up for a few hours. 我在想，如果我们大吵一架 分手几个小时 Technically, we could have sex again. 技术上来说，我们就可以上床 What do you think, bossy and domineering? 你说呢，颐指气使的人？ The wedding's off, sloppy and immature. 婚礼取消了，不成熟的邋遢人 That's me. Come on. 我正是如此，走吧 Wait. Cassie's in the guest room. We're going to lunch. 等一下，凯西在客房 我们要出去吃中饭 Get rid of her, obsessive and shrill! 甩掉她，执拗尖锐的人！ Shrill? The wedding is back on. 尖锐？婚礼照常 I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler. 我听到有人讲话 你一定是钱德 -Hi. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you too. -很高兴认识你 -很高兴认识你 -So, ready to go? -Yeah. -要走了吗？ -好 -Chandler? -I'll be right with you. -钱德？ -等一下 -Cassie needs to stay at your place. -Why? -凯西必须去住你家 -为什么？ Because "Pervie Perverson" here can't stop staring at her. 因为这位“变态人” 一直瞪着她看 Chandler, she's our cousin! 钱德，她是我们的表妹！ I wasn't staring. I was listening intently. 我没有瞪着她看 我是很专心地听她说话 It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch. 做一位好的聊天者，看着 Say something. 说话 You were staring about eight inches south of there. 你看着南面8公分外的地方 Fine. She can stay at my place. 好，她可以来住我家 What does Cassie look like now? 凯西现在长的什么样子？ Exactly like Aunt Marilyn. 就像玛丽莲阿姨 This Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding? 玛丽莲阿姨会来参加婚礼吗？ Wafer-thin ice. 你在薄冰上 Hey, I'm back. 我回来了 Hi, Joey. 乔伊 Will I read the same scene again? 我要念同一场戏吗？ I tried to call you. You didn't need to come today. 我试着打电话给你 你今天不用来这儿 Oh, great. 太好了 I'd have been perfect for this part. 我会是这个角色的最佳人选 You made a bad decision and ruined your movie. Good day! 你错误的决定 会毁了你的电影，再见！ You didn't need to come, because the director saw your tape and loved it. 你不需要来这儿 因为导演看了你的带子非常喜欢 End scene. 还有表演 Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! 很好玩吧？刚刚的即席表演，！ So, you were saying? 你在说？ The director wants to meet you tomorrow. 导演明天想见你 Wow! Sure! That's great. 哇！当然！太好了 Your agent said you're okay with nudity. 你经纪人说你对裸戏没问题 Yeah, sure. As long as it's handled tastefully. 是，只要很有格调地表现 And that barn is not too cold. 谷仓不要太冷 Perfect. There's one more thing. 好极了，还有一件事 It's important to the director that everything in the movie's authentic. 导演希望电影里 每一样事物都很正宗 In your love scene with Sarah... 你和莎拉的**场面… she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish. 她说她从没见过 不是犹太人的**男子 So... 所以… So... what? 所以…怎样？ So, the director is insisting that whoever play that part... 导演坚持演出这个角色的人… be authentically, anatomically... 是正宗的，身体组织上… not Jewish. You know what I'm saying? 不是犹太人 你知道我在说什么？ Yes! 是！ No. What? 不，什么？ An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be.... 在那时的意大利 天主教移民不会是… Bar mitzvah-ed? 行过受诫礼的？ -To get this part, you can't be.. -No. -要得到这个角色，你不能是… -不能 But you are? 可是你是？ -You told them you weren't? -That's right. -你告诉他们你不是？ -对 Wow! 哇！ It's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? 真的完全都没有了？ 没剩下一点可努力的余地？ -What were you thinking? -I don't know. I just want this part. -你在想什么？ -我不知道，我想得到这个角色 They say no matter what you're asked during an audition, say yes. 他们说不管试镜时问什么 都回答是 They want you to ride a horse, say you can. 如果要你骑马，说你会 You figure out how to do it later. 之后再解决 This is not like learning to ride a horse. This is like learning to... 这和学会骑马不一样 这就像是学会… grow a turtleneck. 长出高领衣的领子 I know, okay? Tomorrow, when I go meet the director... 我知道，好吗？ 明天我去见导演时… I have to take my clothes off so they can see what my body looks like. 我必须脱掉衣服 让他们看我的身体 Oh, my God. What are you gonna do? 我的天，你要怎么办？ I have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part. 必须打给我的经纪人 告诉她我不能接这个角色 Unless... 除非… Unless what? 除非怎么？ This may sound crazy, but there may be something we could... 听起来很疯狂 我们可能可以做点… fashion. 造型 -Like what? -Well, I'm not sure yet. -像什么？ -我还不知道 Off the top of my head, I'm thinking... 随便想想，我在想… double-sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat. 双面胶带和某种午餐肉 I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower. 我有个派对主题的好主意 We get mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them. 用一个红木箱 刻上每个人的名字 Then inside is each person's individual birthstone. 在里面放着每个人的出生石 Okay. Okay. 好，好 You take care of that. 你来弄 Meanwhile, the party's tomorrow and we don't have a guest list. 同时，派对就在明天 我们还没有宾客名单 Okay. Who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you? 好，我们知道要来的有谁？ 有我，你要来吗？ -Hey. -Hey, what's up? -嘿 -怎么样啊？ I'm making something for Joey. Can I raid your fridge? 我在替乔伊弄点东西 可以搜一下你的冰箱吗？ Have at it. 请便 All right. Turkey? That won't work. 好，火鸡肉？没有用 Cheese? That won't work. 起司？没有用 Olive loaf? I hope that won't work. 橄榄面包，希望这没用 Are you making him a sandwich? 你在替他做三明治吗？ No, it's more like a wrap. 不，比较像是鸡肉卷 Okay, so I'm gonna go, guys. 好，我要走了 So you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! 你们可以继续讨论 要送我什么礼物！ We have to get her a present? 我们要送她礼物？ Okay, but look. Look at what I got. 好吧，看我拿到什么 It's her address book. We have a guest list. 她的通讯录 我们的宾客名单 You're amazing. Did you pull that out of her purse? 你好厉害，你从她皮包拿的？ Uh-huh. And a little seed money for the party. 嗯，还有派对的种子钱 Cassie? 凯西？ Hey, Ross! 罗斯！ It's been so long! 好久不见！ Last time I saw you... 上一次我看到你时… you were setting up your tent in line for Return of the Jedi. 你正搭着帐篷 等待绝地武士的归来 So you did see me that day. Because it seemed like you didn't. 所以那天你有看到我 看起来像没看到的样子 -Yeah, sorry about that. -It's okay. Come on in. -对不起 -没关系，请进 Thanks for letting me stay here. Monica's place was nice. 谢谢你让我住在这儿 摩妮卡那儿不错 But her fiance sure stares a lot. 但她的未婚夫一直瞪着人看 Oh, my God! You do a great Chandler! 我的天！你学钱德学得真像！ I have a knack for impressions. 我很会做表情的 Maybe after we get re-acquainted you could do me. 等我们熟一点 你也可以学我 Yeah. No! 好，不！ How you doing on that... 你的… hot dog? 热狗好吃吗？ -I'm all done. -Thank God. -我吃完了 -感谢上帝 The last time we hung out was when our parents rented that beach house. 上次见面是我们父母 租下海边小屋那时 Remember the time I pinned you down and tickled you until you cried? 记得我按住你 搔你痒直到你哭了？ We're probably too old to do that now. 我们现在大了，不能这么做了 I'll always remember that summer. It's when I got all these freckles. 我一直都记得那个夏天 我就是那时长了这些雀斑的 I'll always remember that summer... 我一直都记得那个夏天… because that's when I realized that we are related. 因为那时我才知道我们是亲戚 It took you that long to figure it out? 你花了那么久才发现？ I'm a little slow. 我是有点反应迟缓 Just as our children would be. 就如我们的孩子也可能会这样子 -Hi. -Hi. -嗨 -嗨 How are you? Good. Hi. Thanks for coming. 你好吗？好，嗨 谢谢大家来 Thank you. So nice to see you. 谢谢，很高兴看到你 -No, thanks. -Okay. Hey, Rach? -不，谢谢 -好，瑞秋？ -Yeah? -Who the hell are all these people? -是？ -这些是什么人啊？ I don't know. I called everybody in her book. 我不知道 我打给她本子里的每一个人 These are the ones that could show up on 24 hours' notice. 这些是在24小时内通知还能来的 There's a word for people like that: Losers. 有另一个字来形容这种人：输家 Hi, I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor. 我是瑞秋，这是菲比 我是伴娘 -How do you know Monica? -I was her accountant four years ago. -你怎么认识摩妮卡的？ -我是她四年前的会计师 I'm interested to find out who's been doing her taxes the last four years. 我很想知道 这过去四年是谁替她报税 That's great. 很好 -When is Monica supposed to get here? -I don't know. -摩妮卡何时会到？ -我不知道 Excuse us. 借一步说话 -You didn't tell her? -You were supposed to. -你没告诉她？ -你该通知她的 You were supposed to tell her to come! I was bringing the cake! 是你该通知她来的！ 我要带蛋糕！ -Fine, I'll go call her. -And please tell her to bring a cake! -好，我打电话给她 -要她带蛋糕来！ We have a lot of options. A number of prototypes for you to try on. 我们有很多选择 有几个雏型可以试穿 Those look great. 看起来很好 Okay, this one's a mushroom cap. This one is made of bologna. 这个有磨菇做的头 这个是意大利香肠做的 -The toothpicks? -Just until the glue dries. -牙签？ -只是撑着等胶水干掉 Thank God. 感谢上帝 These are more realistic, but perishable. 这些比较逼真，但会腐烂 Over here, we have pink suede, which is nice. 这儿，粉红色的鞣皮，很不错 But if it gets wet, it'll shrink. 但湿了会缩水 Maybe we'll just take that one away. 把这个拿走好了 I also did a little something in fur, but that's really just for me. 我也做了一个毛的 不过那是给我自己的 Why don't you try these on? We'll get a better idea of what works. 不如你去试试这些？ 我们就知道哪些有用 Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird. 谢谢，你真是位好朋友 这真是奇怪透顶 -Toothpick? -Yeah. -牙签的？ -是 -What are you trying now? -The Fruit Roll-up. -你现在在试那个？ -水果卷 -And? -Delicious. -然后呢？ -很好吃 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We have a winner! 等一下，等一下 冠军出线了！ What? Which one? 怎样？哪一个？ The Silly Putty. Not so silly anymore! 笨油灰不再那么笨了！ She's your cousin. She's your cousin. 她是你表妹 她是你表妹 If she knew what was going on in your head, she'd think you were sick. 如果她知道你脑袋里在想什么 她会以为你有病 Or would she? Let's back up for a second. 她会吗？ 倒转一下 She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. 是她提议开红酒的 She was the one who turned down the lights. 是她把灯光调暗的 She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run... 是她要租《二十三世纪大逃亡》的… the sexiest movie ever. 有史以来最性感的电影 I know that look. 我知道这眼神 Forget it. I want it. She wants it. 不管了，我想要，她想要 I'm going in. 我要行动了 What the hell are you doing? 你在干什么？ Say something clever. 说点机智的 Okay, doesn't have to be clever. 好吧，不必机智的 Just has to be words. Say some words. 只要说点什么，说话 Any words will do. 什么话都好 Oh, my God, this is the longest... 我的天，这是有史以来… that anyone has not talked ever! 最长的沉默！ There is nothing you could say to make this worse... 说什么都不可能让情形更糟… so just say something! 说点什么！ I haven't had sex in a very long time. 我很久没**了 Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything. 你真的不该说话的 Phoebe? Rachel? It's Monica. 菲比？瑞秋？是摩妮卡 I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice? 什么事这么急着找我来呢？ -Oh, Monica. We are so sorry. -For what? -摩妮卡，我们很抱歉 -为什么？ First, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower. 第一，忘了替你办告别单身女子派对 Then, forgetting to invite you to it. 然后忘了邀请你 You already had it? 你们已经办完了？ We called everyone in your phone book. A bunch of people came. 我们打电话给你通讯录里每一个人 来了很多人 It took us so long to get you here that they had to leave. 但花了太多时间找到你 客人都走了 We wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower. 我们想给你一个大惊喜 替你办一个大的告别单身女子派对 Now you don't have either. 现在两个都没了 We ruined everything. 我们毁了一切 No, wait a minute, that's not true. What you did was really sweet. 不，等一下，没有毁了一切 你们真的很好心 -It kind of works out for the best. -What do you mean? -其实这样子最好 -什么意思？ Now I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love. 现在我可以和我真正喜欢的人 一起共渡我的告别单身女子派对 I get all those presents without talking to people I don't even like! 我收了所有的礼物 而不必和我不喜欢的人说话！ -Surprise. -Surprise, Monica. -惊喜 -惊喜，摩妮卡 What's cool is, the character is from Naples, right? 最酷的是，这个角色是从尼泊尔来的 My whole family's from Naples. 我全家都是从尼泊尔来的 That's great. Okay. I've heard everything I need to hear... 太好了，我听得差不多了… We just need to, uh... 我们只需要… Leslie? 莱斯莉？ -Joey, this is the awkward part. -Hey, right. Not a problem. -乔伊，这有点怪怪的 -是，没有问题 I totally understand you need to... 我完全了解… make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. 你们需要能确定 我没有可怕的疤痕或刺青 Don't you worry. 不用担心 I have nothing to hide. 我没什么要隐藏的 So, there you go. That's me. 这儿，这就是我 One hundred-percent natural. 百分之百纯天然 I tell you, that has never happened before. 这从来没发生过 Cassie, are you finding everything okay? 凯西，一切都还好吗？ Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay here. 是，谢谢你让我住这儿 Oh, it's no problem. 没问题 What? 怎么？ Say something. Say anything. 说话，随便说什么 Ask her out! She's not your cousin! 约她出去！她不是你表妹！