-Hey. -Hey. -嘿 -嘿
I saw the Porsche parked out front. 我看到保时捷停在前门
Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin. 你能把钥匙借给我一下吗？ 我想带那个坏男孩去兜个风
Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to. 罗斯可以开它？我问你时 你说只有你能开它
He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it. 他是我哥哥，而且他开车 跟乌龟一样，不会出事的
It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship. 它是辆车子，摩妮卡，不是火箭
Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done. 兜完风后，帮我换一下刹车灯的灯泡
-Hey. -Hi. -嘿 -嗨
Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again? 我看到保时捷了，它真的很酷 我什么时候能再开着它去兜风？
-You let Joey drive it? -I've never driven it. Not once. -你让乔伊开保时捷？ -我从来没开过它，一次都没有
Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time. 好吧，只有一次 好吧，我常开着它出门
So much for the "you-can-drive-it but-don't-tell-Rachel" plan. 我们的“你可以开它去兜风 但别告诉瑞秋”计划宣告失败
Wow, I can't believe you lied to me. 哇，我不敢相信你骗我
I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you talk about is the wedding. 交给我来吧，摩妮卡 瑞秋认为你只会谈婚礼的事
I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver. 我不会让你开保时捷 因为你是个很差劲的驾驶
There. That wasn't about the wedding. 好了，那跟婚礼的事无关
If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block. 如果你想开保时捷去兜风 我可以载你在街角转一下
You got a couple hours? 你接下来几小时都没事吗？
The One With Chandler's Dad 本集播出：钱德的父亲

Whew, that was a brisk ride. 喔，那真的痛快
-Take the top down, did you? -Only way to fly. -你开了篷吧？ -这样开跟飞上天差不多
Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver. 把钥匙给我，摩妮卡错了 我是个很棒的驾驶
You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver. 你开车飞快，又不负责任 你的确是个差劲的驾驶
In high school, that added up to head cheerleader. 高中时那些特点 让我成为啦啦队长
Did you see how she looked at me? 你看到那个女孩看我的眼神了吗？
She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. 她一定看到了我开保时捷的模样
-She's checking out your beehive. -What? -她在看你的鸟窝头 -什么？
-Give me a brush. -The keys. -把梳子给我 -钥匙给我
-No way! -Well, no brush. -不行 -那我就不给你梳子
Fine. It doesn't matter. 好吧，那不重要
If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom. 如果我没记错 洗手间地上有一把梳子
Alimony. 这是我的赡养费
We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad. 你爸还没寄回函给我们
Oh, right. Maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation. 喔，对，或许那是因为 我没寄喜帖给他
He's your father. He should be at our wedding. 他是你爸爸，他应该来 参加我们的婚礼
I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years. 我甚至不认得他 我好几年没跟他见过面
And when he finds out he wasn't asked? 如果他知道我们没有邀请他呢？
We don't run in the same circles. 我们的生活圈不一样
I hang out with you guys and he... 我跟你们来往，而他…
stars in a drag show in Vegas. 他在拉斯维加斯表演变装秀
I think I want to trade circles. 我想和他交换生活圈
You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride... 你不会想邀请他来的 没有人会看着新娘…
when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress. 因为新郎的爸爸穿着露背洋装
As long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil, I don't care. 那又怎么样？只要他不穿婚纱 我根本不会在乎的
I think I need to do some shopping. 我想我得去买点东西
Nice. 太棒了
My God! 我的天啊！
-What do you think you're doing? -Just washing the windshield. -你以为你在做什么？ -我只是在洗挡风玻璃
There's no way I'll let you drive this car. 我绝不会让你开这辆车
Just hand over the keys. 你为什么不把钥匙还给我？
Oh! 喔！
Do not start this car. 别启动引擎
Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks... 好吧，我给你二十块…
if you get out of this car right now. Hey! 只要你立刻下车，嘿！
Look. 听着
If you're so freaked out, get in the car. 如果你真的那么害怕，快上车吧
With you? Yeah, right. 跟你一起去兜风？对，是啊
All right. 好吧
Okay, okay, okay. 好吧…
-What are you doing? Get in front. -In the death seat?! -你在做什么？坐到前面来 -你要我坐死亡座椅？
-Hey, guys. -Hi, sweetie. -嘿，大家好 -嗨，甜心
-Ready to go? -My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back. -准备要走了吗？ -我的皮包在摩妮卡家，我马上回来
-Wait a minute. -What? Oh. -等一下 -什么？喔
That one kept going. 我还在头晕
So, you and Phoebe, huh? 你跟菲比在交往？
-How long have you been going out? -A month. -你们交往多久了？ -一个多月
We ought to get to know each other better. 我们应该多多了解彼此
-Sure. I'd like that. -Yeah. So, uh... -当然，我很愿意 -对，所以…
What's your name? 你叫什么名字？
-It's Jake. -Joey. -我是杰克 -我是乔伊
-Do you like the Knicks? -Yeah, big fan. -你喜欢尼克队吗？ -当然，我是他们的头号球迷
Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go? 我也是，星期二有比赛 你要一起去吗？
Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. 太棒了，我得先确定星期二我没事
Here. 拿去吧
-What's this? -Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas. -这是什么？ -你的行李，我们要去拉斯维加斯
Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff. 你是认真的吗？我们要私奔？ 不必再筹备那个笨婚礼
No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save. 不必再烦恼那些花 想想我们省了多少钱
We're not eloping. Can our wedding be bigger, please? 我们没有要私奔，我喜欢花 我们的婚礼能再盛大一点吗？拜托
We're going to see your dad. 我们要去找你爸
I want to get to know my father-in-law. 我想认识我公公
When we went over this, I won. 我们已经谈过这件事，我赢了
No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know... 不，你没赢，甜心，你应该知道…
Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore. 现在你要娶我，你是赢不了的
Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. 算了吧，我不想去，我不想见到他
I know your dad embarrassed you. 我知道你爸让你觉得丢脸
All kids are embarrassed by their parents. 所有的孩子 都会觉得自己的父母很丢脸
You need a new word for what I went through. 你得想个新说法来形容我的经历
In high school, he came to all my swim meets... 在高中的时候 他参加了我所有的游泳比赛…
dressed as a Hollywood starlet. 每次都打扮成不一样的好莱坞明星
Hard enough to be 14, skinny, wearing Speedos Mom promised I'd grow into. 我十四岁时日子很不好过 瘦巴巴的，穿着太大的泳裤 我妈还说有一天它会适合我
You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on. 我抬头看着看台 发现我爸在为我加油
Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit... 他打扮成卡曼米兰达 戴着有真水果头饰的帽子…
that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack. 之后他会把那些水果 交给你的朋友，作为饭后果
He was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on. 重点是他参加了 你每一场游泳比赛，帮你加油
That's a pretty great dad. 他是个好爸爸
He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
-Who's Mr. Garibaldi? -Does it matter?! -谁是嘉利巴迪先生？ -那很重要吗？！
You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go. 你不再是十四岁的孩子，好吗？ 或许你该忘了那些事
If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. 如果他没来参加你的婚礼 你会遗憾终生的
Okay, but I'm just doing this for you. 好吧，但我这么做是为了你
-I never get to win anymore? -How much did you ever win before? -我永远都赢不了吗？ -你以前又赢过几次了？
You know how when you're wearing pants and you lean forward... 你知道当你穿着裤子 身体往前倾时…
I check out your underwear?
Well, when Jake did it... 喔，当杰克那么做时…
I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
I know. They were mine.
Oh! 喔！
No, no, wait. That's weird. 不，等一下，那太奇怪了
We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on. 我们只是闹着玩 我跟他打赌他不敢穿上它们
That's weird! 那真的很奇怪
-I'm wearing his briefs right now. -That's kind of hot. -
I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick. 我也那么认为，你知道那个小洞吗？ 它刚好可以拿来放我的口红
I wouldn't know about that. 我倒是不知道那一点
Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
He loves how silk feels against his skin.
Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture. 接下来他会说 穿上你的高跟鞋他更婀娜多姿
There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man. 杰克没有什么不正常的 他是个货真价实的男人
I think more than you. 我担心的是你
He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies. 那看起来像是 穿着粉红色蕾丝内裤的伐木工人
Only a man completely secure in his masculinity could... 我是说只有真正 相信自己男子气概的男人…
walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could. 才会穿上女人的内裤 我敢说你办不到
-I am secure with my masculinity. -Okay, whatever. -我很相信我的男子气概 -好吧，随便你
You've seen my huge stack of porn.
God, I forgot how much I love driving. 天啊，我都忘了我有多爱开车了
I have got to get my license renewed. 我得去换新驾照
You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now. 你的驾照过期了？马上停车
You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay? 罗斯，你太紧张了 你得放轻松，好吗？
Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax. 你只需要放轻松，好吗？放轻松
What are you..? That's not funny. Stop horsing around. 你在…？那一点都不好笑，别闹了
I am not horsing around, okay? 我没有胡闹，好吗？
I am "Porsche-ing" around. 我在“开保时捷”兜风
Uh-oh. 喔
Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble. 保持冷静，不会有事的 你没有惹上**烦
Really? You think so? 真的吗？你那么认为？
I'm talking to myself. You're going down! 我是在跟自己说话，你死定了！
（四后俱乐部）
Has someone taken your order? 有人来帮你们点东西了吗？
Oh, yeah. She did. He did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't... 对，她来过了，是他才对，是她吗？ 抱歉，我第一次来，我不…
-I just ordered a beer. -You're straight. I get it. -我点了一杯啤酒 -你是异性恋，我懂了
If we called your dad, we'd have better seats. 如果我们打电话给你爸 就能坐到比较好一点的位置
I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready. 我不想让他知道我们来了 我还没有准备好
He won't be too happy to see me either. 而且他看到我也不会太高兴
Why not? 为什么？
He's kind of tried to contact me... 我不知道我有没有告诉你…
-a lot the last few years. -What? -过去几年来他常常试着跟我联络 -什么？
Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters. 对，他会打电话，写信给我
He came to New York. I said I was too busy. 他会到纽约来，但我总是说我很忙
It's very "Cats in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it. 那就像是“恶意缺席”我真的不想谈
Here we go. 节目要开始了
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the incomparable... 各位先生女士，欢迎与世无双的…
Helena Handbasket. 海莲娜汉德巴斯奇
Hello, darlings. 嗨，我的小亲亲们
And there's Daddy. 他就是我爸
Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over. 快跟我换位置，快点！ 我在上面，你在下面
-Yeah, I'll get right on that. -Come on! -对，我愿意那么做 -快点
What? No. Hey, Rach, come on. -什么？不，瑞秋，别那样 -快点
I'm sure we won't get arrested for this. 我相信我们不会因此被逮捕
Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast? 嗨，警官，我的速度有点快吗？
Oh, my God. 喔，我的天啊
-Can I see your license, please? -Absolutely. -麻烦你把驾照拿出来 -没问题
It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman. 这太奇怪了，我昨晚做了一个梦 梦到我被一个警察拦下来
And then he... 然后他…
Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest. 或许我不该告诉你接下来的情节
-Your license. -Yes. Here you go, Officer... -你的驾照 -对，在这里，警官…
Handsome. 帅哥警官
-It's Hanson. -Oops, sorry. My mistake. -是韩森才对 -喔，对不起，我看错了
Dear Lord! 我的天啊！
-Wow! -Here it comes. -哇！ -好了
This is a great picture. 这张照片很漂亮
Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed. 真的吗？你真的那么想？ 拍照时我才刚刚起床
You look phenomenal. 你看起来很美
She should! It was taken 10 years ago! 一点都没错，那是十年前的照片了
You know, you probably... 你知道的，或许你很纳闷
wonder about the old date. 日期有点不太对劲
Yes. You're an Aquarius, huh? 没错，你是水瓶座吗？
-I'll bet you're a Gemini. -No. -我敢说你是双子座 -不是
-Taurus? -No. -金牛座？ -不是
-Virgo? -No. -处女座？ -不是
-Sagittarius? -Yep. -射手座？ -对
I knew it. I knew it! 我就知道
You won't speed anymore, right? 不要再超速了，好吗？
I won't speed. 我不会超速的
-Promise to take care of this? -I promise. -你发誓你会去换驾照？ -我发誓
Let him drive. Does he have a license? 还有，让他开车，他有驾照吗？
-Can he handle a stick? -Well... -他会开手动的车吗？ -喔…
I can handle a stick! 我会开手动的车！
-That can't be your father. -I've been saying that for years. -他不可能是你爸 -多年来我一直是那么告诉自己
-Oh, my God! -What? -喔，我的天啊 -什么？
That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano. 弹钢琴的人就是嘉利巴迪先生
Hello, and welcome to the show. 嗨，欢迎你们来看表演
I see some of our regulars in the audience. 在观众席中我看到一些常客
And a couple of irregulars. 还有一些新面孔
-He's coming into the audience. -Relax. You'll be fine. -他要走进观众席里了 -放轻松，你会没事的
Oh, much better. You're invisible now. 喔，好多了，现在你成了隐形人
-Where are you from? -Bakersfield. -你是从哪里来的？ -贝克斯菲德
-I'm sorry? -Bakersfield. -对不起？ -贝克斯菲德
No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry. 不，我听到了，我只是觉得很遗憾
I'll meet you back at the hotel. 我无法接受这种事情 我们回饭店碰面
Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show. 大家看，已经有人站起来鼓掌 节目才刚刚开始
Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face. 转身吧，亲爱的 让我看看你帅气的脸
Can we have our drinks, please? Waiter? tress? 我们的饮料能快点送上来吗？ 服务生？…小姐？
-Hey, Phoebe. -Hey. -嘿，菲比 -嘿
Check it out. 你看
How much of a man am I? 我很有男子气概吧？
Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about. 我开始了解杰克的意思了
The silk feels really good. 丝内裤的感觉真的很舒服
And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be. 而那玩意不像我想像中 会挤成一团
That's great. 那真的是太棒了
You have so many more choices than with men's underwear. 而男人的内裤选择没那么多
Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: cotton, silk, lace. 比基尼，法式剪裁，丁字裤 质料有棉，丝跟蕾丝
You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose! 你知道我一直想穿什么吗？裤袜！
The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to.. 从脚趾头开始一路往上拉到…
-I should go take these off. -I think it's important you do. -
What's your name? 你叫什么名字？
Chandler. 钱德
Chandler? 钱德？
What an unusual name. 那个名字真是与众不同
You must have had terribly fascinating parents. 你的父母一定很棒
Oh, they're a hoot. 喔，他们只会大喊大叫的
And who is your friend? 你的朋友叫什么名字？
I'm Monica. 我是摩妮卡
-Monica. Where are you from? -New York. -摩妮卡，你们从哪里来的？ -纽约
I'm not very fond of New York. Queens, I like. 我不太喜欢纽约 但我喜欢皇后区
What is this... 这个亮晶晶的…
sparkling something, honey, huh? 东西是什么？甜心
Actually, Monica and I are engaged. 事实上摩妮卡跟我订婚了
Really? 真的吗？
Congratulations. 恭喜你们
When's the big day? 你们什么时候结婚？
In two weeks. 两星期后
I see. 我知道了
Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. 喔，我祝你们两个永远幸福
So, you're bald. 原来你是个秃头
Wait, wait. 等一下
We'd love it if you could be there. 我们希望你能来参加我们的婚礼
Really? 真的吗？
I know it would make me happy... 我知道那会让我觉得很快乐…
ma'am. 夫人
Then I wouldn't miss it for the world. 我一定会去的
I'm getting all misty here. 我都热泪盈眶了
You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. 你们一定会以为 我刚刚用热蜡除过腿毛
-You okay? -Yeah. -你还好吗？ -我很好
Thanks for making me do this. 谢谢你逼我这么做
Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom... 在继续表演前，我要跟这对新人说…
how lucky they are to have found each other. 他们非常幸运能找到彼此
In every life a little rain must fall. 每个人的人生都会遇到雨天
Fortunately... 还好…
in my life... 在我的人生中…
When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left. 我小时候演过最左边那个角色
Remind me to introduce you to someone. 提醒我介绍你给某人认识
-Who? -Fourth gear. -谁？ -四档
What does he want? I wasn't doing anything. 他想做什么？我什么都没做
Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position. 或许他看到你的手 只会从十点的位置滑到两点的位置
Maybe it's Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more. 或许是射手座警官 折回来想泡你
It's a different guy. 不是刚刚那个警官
-Good evening, sir. -Do you know how fast you were going? -晚安，警官 -你知道你的时速有多快吗？
No, I don't, but it couldn't have been more than 60. 不，我不知道 但应该没有超过六十里
You're right. It was 37. 你说的对，只有三十七里
You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you? 你该不会因为我开得太慢 要开我罚单吧？
That's right. 没错
You know, officer... 你知道的，警官…
I had the weirdest dream last night. 昨晚我做了一个非常奇怪的梦
Oh, my God! 喔，我的天啊！
Your license, please. 麻烦你把驾照拿出来
You don't want to hear about my dream... 你不想听听我做了什么梦…
Officer... 警官…
Pretty? 英俊警官
It's Petty. 是佩堤警官才对
I'll be right back with your ticket. 我马上帮你开罚单
-You have a son. -I know. I know. -你有个儿子 -我知道
-Feel better? -Yeah. Much. -你觉得好一点了吗？ -对，我好多了
Listen... 听着…
Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but... 我并不是担心我的男子气概…
I need to hook up with a woman right now. 但我想我应该马上去泡个女人
I understand. 我了解
You look familiar. Do I know you? 你看起来好眼熟，我认识你吗？
I don't think so. 应该不认识
Maybe it's because I'm on television. 或许那是因为我是电视演员
-I'm an actor on Days of our Lives. -Wow. Really? -我演出《我们的日子》 -哇，真的吗？
-$4.50, please. -Oh, let me get this. -一共是四块半，谢谢 -喔，让我来吧
These are for you. 这是送你的