[00:02.10]Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon?
[00:05.07]Yeah, I am.
[00:09.44]That's right, get it out of your system while we're alone.
[00:13.17]-Hey. We came to say goodbye. -Yeah. Have a great honeymoon. -
[00:17.21]-Thanks. -I better go pack. -
[00:19.21]No, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.
[00:26.02]Speedo? I don't have a Speedo.
[00:29.92]I'm gonna go pack my regular, long bathing suit.
[00:36.30]Good, you're still here! I wanted to tell you to have a good honeymoon.
[00:40.17]Thank you!
[00:41.87]And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today.
[00:50.58]What? What?
[00:53.92]-We know it's Ross. -How? How do you know? -
[00:57.49]It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!
[01:01.02]I so wanted Ross to know first. But I am so relieved that you guys know!
[01:05.13]That is so great. And I'm gonna be your baby's aunt!
[01:07.83]I know.
[01:09.20]Me too!
[01:11.17]And I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.
[01:14.74]-You're all gonna be aunts and uncles. -Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood. -
[01:20.44]So now that you all know, you can help me. Give me some advice on how to tell Ross.
[01:26.38]What were you gonna say?
[01:27.92]I was gonna tell him that I'm gonna have it, and he can be as involved as he wants.
[01:32.42]Well, that sounds good.
[01:34.32]Yeah, but, you know, how do I start? I mean, what's the first thing that I say?
[01:42.40]-Okay, great. Thanks. -Hey, good luck. -
[01:46.00]Yeah, bye.
[01:48.77]Hey, what was that all about?
[01:50.67]Guess there's no harm in telling you now. Rachel and Ross are going to have a baby.
[01:55.14]What?! I didn't even know that..! Why didn't you tell me?
[02:01.28]Why am I talking like this?
[02:05.25]-I didn't think you could keep it a secret. -What?! -
[02:10.96]What?!
[02:13.13]I am an excellent secret-keeper. I have kept all our secrets.
[02:16.97]-What secrets? -No, no, Joey.
[02:19.47]I'm not gonna tell you, because I am an excellent secret-keeper.
[02:27.01]-You'll tell me later? -You already know. -
[02:31.28]The One Where Rachel Tells
[00:00.00]
[03:10.79]It's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
[03:15.12]You know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby.
[03:19.53]-Maybe you and I should do something. -All in good time, my love. All in good time. -
[03:27.17]Shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well, you can let me in later, right?
[03:31.67]No, I don't have a key. They took mine to give to you.
[03:34.34]-What? They took mine to give to you. -Why would they take away our keys? -
[03:39.58]Maybe they don't trust us.
[03:41.25]They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
[03:44.35]The time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it with Monica's guest towels?
[03:49.46]-Hey, I washed those. -No, you didn't. -
[03:52.46]Yeah, that didn't sound like me.
[03:55.70]-What will I do? I really need my guitar. -I have stuff in there too. -
[04:00.17]-What stuff? -Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of it. -
[04:06.54]Hey, Mr. Treeger? It's Joey Tribbiani.
[04:08.84]Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency!
[04:14.88]Gas leak. Oh, and bring garlic bread.
[04:21.16]-Hey, did Monica and Chandler take off yet? -Yeah. -
[04:24.26]Damn. They left without my pass to the Nassau Fossil and Natural History Museum.
[04:29.76]There goes the honeymoon.
[04:32.30]-Did Rachel find you? -No, why?
[04:35.27]She was looking for you.
[04:37.71]Well, I guess I'll catch up with her later.
[04:41.31]-She really wanted to talk to you now. -Yeah, it seemed pretty important. -
[04:48.55]Oh, no.
[04:50.32]What?
[04:52.42]I think I might know what this is about.
[04:57.39]Really?
[04:58.89]Yeah. We promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this, but..
[05:05.40]About a month ago, Rachel and I slept together.
[05:09.90]And?
[05:15.18]Wow, I thought you'd be a little more shocked.
[05:18.98]Oh, sorry. And?!
[05:25.32]Well, we said we'd just do it that one time..
[05:29.89]but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
[05:33.96]Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
[05:37.63]-Why? What else could it be? -Oh, wow, I don't feel well. -
[05:44.44]I'm telling you, that's what it is.
[05:47.74]No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding.
[05:52.85]She didn't say anything to you?
[05:55.25]-Maybe it's something you ate. -Could be, yeah. -
[05:58.45]-Please, just go and talk to Rachel. -Yeah, I guess I should. -
[06:05.06]Man, you know what I have to realize?
[06:07.73]Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with.
[06:13.47]You know, they always seem to want a little bit more.
[06:19.81]I should remember that.
[06:31.59]Next.
[06:34.02]-They're kissing. Let's just go around them. -Leave them alone. They're in love. -
[06:37.89]I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.
[06:41.50]Next.
[06:43.03]Hi. Can you do that and walk? Because she said, "Next."
[06:47.34]Sorry, we didn't hear you. We're on our honeymoon.
[06:52.11]Let me see what I can do. There are some first-class seats available.
[06:58.35]They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon!
[07:02.15]-Let's act like we're on our honeymoon. -We are on our honeymoon. -
[07:06.82]Grab my ass.
[07:09.99]-Next. -Hi. Sorry, I almost didn't hear you. -
[07:13.19]You know, I'm just so in love with my new husband. We're on our honeymoon.
[07:17.73]-Congratulations. -Thanks. -
[07:19.77]Okay, Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J, and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.
[07:25.14]We're on our honeymoon, so can you do your little thing and bump us to first class?
[07:30.01]I'm sorry, all the first-class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
[07:33.95]See? If we'd gone around them like I said, she'd have given us those tickets! Damn it!
[07:39.85]25J and K, any chance those aren't together? 25J
[07:51.97]I still can't believe they took away my key. I mean, you trust me with yours.
[07:56.10]Of course I do! And I'm gonna get it back to you..
[07:58.84]just as soon as they're done with it at the key-shining place.
[08:06.28]-What the hell is that? -I don't know. -
[08:09.52]Treeger, what are you doing?
[08:12.09]-You said there was a gas leak. -Why not use your key? -
[08:14.99]By the time I found it on this thing, the whole place might have exploded.
[08:18.63]If that happens at another building I manage, people will ask questions.
[08:22.46]Come on, hurry up!
[08:27.13]Well, we could have done that.
[08:32.37]Look at that! They're going into the first-class lounge.
[08:35.91]-Do you know what they have in there? -No. -
[08:38.11]Me neither. We have to get in!
[08:42.35]-Just act like you belong. -Oh, my God! Oranges! -
[08:48.06]-Nice to see you again. -Sir, may I see your tickets, please? -
[08:53.33]Yes, of course.
[08:56.16]Would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number.
[08:58.93]That's all right. I have it memorized. It's 1A.
[09:04.67]-Sir, this isn't a first-class ticket. I'm sorry. -Apology accepted. Excuse us. -
[09:08.81]Sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
[09:14.12]Fine.
[09:17.08]Go, go!
[09:31.87]-Hi. -Hi.
[09:33.73]Hi.
[09:36.47]I think there's something that we really need to talk about.
[09:39.87]I think we do. Why don't we go inside.
[09:49.68]-Look, I know why you're here. -You do? -
[09:54.56]Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment..
[09:57.93]I think maybe I should talk first.
[10:01.03]-Okay. -Okay?
[10:12.01]Ross and Rachel.
[10:14.58]Rachel and Ross.
[10:18.78]That's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?
[10:23.62]What?
[10:25.55]I mean, look, that one night we had was fun and certainly passionate.
[10:31.99]But don't you think it's better if we just stay friends?
[10:37.80]Seriously, what?
[10:41.17]Okay. You know what?
[10:44.74]If you want to, we can do it one more time.
[10:51.41]I mean, I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now..
[10:55.95]Okay.
[10:57.25]You know what? Can I talk now?
[10:59.35]-Oh, sure. -Okay. -
[11:07.70]I'm pregnant.
[11:14.00]Ross?
[11:20.21]Ross?
[11:22.64]Okay, whenever you're ready.
[11:32.55]And you're the father, by the way. But you got..
[11:40.16]-Can I get you some water? -I'm good. -
[11:44.77]Ross, there is no pressure on you, okay? I mean, you can be as involved as you want.
[11:54.54]
[11:56.84]I'm just, I don't know. I don't understand..
[12:02.42]how this happened.
[12:07.39]-We used a condom. -I know. -
[12:10.56]But you know, condoms only work, like,97 percent of the time.
[12:16.06]What?
[12:19.93]What?!
[12:22.74]Well, they should put that on the box!
[12:28.91]-They do. -No, they don't! -
[12:37.62]Well, they should put it in huge block letters!
[12:42.06]-Ross, let's just forget about the condoms. -Well, I may as well have! -
[12:49.26]Listen, you know what? I was really freaked out too..
[12:52.20]-when I found out. -Freaked..? Hey, I'm not freaked out. -
[12:56.17]I'm indignant as a consumer!
[13:00.88]-You know what? Let's talk later. -No, I wanna talk now. -
[13:05.35]In fact, I wanna talk..
[13:07.68]to the president of the condom company.
[13:12.02]Okay, you know what? Maybe I should come back.. Okay.
[13:15.72]Yeah, I'll press one!
[13:21.96]-I looked everywhere. There's no gas leak. -So then I can heat this up? -
[13:28.27]Anyway, I'll get moving on that new door.
[13:30.74]Great. Listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this?
[13:35.88]Because, you know, they don't have any kids of their own..
[13:39.75]and this door was like a child to them.
[13:44.25]Well, I'm gonna have to put on a new lock. They'll find out anyway.
[13:49.02]It's looking like an all-day job. I'm gonna have to cancel my yoga class.
[13:54.36]Hey, Ross. Could you tell Jasmine I can't make it to yoga class today?
[13:57.87]Sure.
[14:04.54]-Oh, my God! What happened to the door? -So it's noticeable, huh? -
[14:09.08]-Look, is Rachel here? I need to talk to her. -Didn't you two already talk? -
[14:12.85]Yeah, but..
[14:15.42]Okay. Look, you guys know that Rachel and I slept together..
[14:19.02]but there's something else.
[14:23.09]Rachel's pregnant.
[14:24.66]-Holy mother of God! -Oh, my God, I can't believe that! -
[14:30.63]-With my child. -That is brand-new information! -
[14:39.61]-You already know, don't you? -Little bit. -
[14:43.48]-How you doing? -Okay. I mean, I'll be okay. -
[14:47.45]It's just, I don't think I handled it very well.
[14:50.12]-What'd you say to her? -Nothing. -
[14:52.62]But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful.
[14:57.42]-Then when I turned around, she was gone. -Oh, Ross. -
[15:00.46]I know. But in my defense, I just found out that condoms are only, like,97% effective.
[15:06.47]-What? -I gotta go find her. -
[15:09.40]Hey. Hold on! Are you serious?
[15:12.51]So, like,3 percent of the time, they don't even work?
[15:17.14]They should put that on the box!
[15:20.98]-Evidently, they do. -What?! -
[15:29.52]Well, I'll be.
[15:39.20]-I can't believe we're here. -You've gotta be kidding. -
[15:42.87]What?
[15:46.31]As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite.
[15:50.44]No! You have been screwing us all day!
[15:54.18]-Who are you? -We're you. Just 10 seconds later! -
[15:59.85]You already got the first-class tickets, the lounge. We should get free stuff too!
[16:03.99]You're not the only ones on your honeymoon!
[16:08.16]You can have the suite if you want. We don't care about where we stay.
[16:12.73]We're here to celebrate our love for each other.
[16:15.30]We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
[16:22.28]We need the stuff.
[16:27.05]Monica, it's Joey. Phoebe and I smell gas coming from your apartment.
[16:31.22]-What? Are you serious? Joey smells gas. -What else is new? -
[16:36.36]-We'd check it out, but you took our keys. -Well, do something. Get in there! -
[16:41.50]-How? I guess I could break down your door. -Yeah, do that. -
[16:46.13]-And you won't blame us for any damage? -No. -
[16:51.34]-Are you doing it? I don't hear anything. -Okay, I'll break it down. -
[16:59.91]Hi. He's doing it, he's breaking down the door.
[17:07.35]Okay, we're in.
[17:13.13]-Okay, Rachel, are you comfortable? -If I said I was, would you judge me? -
[17:18.43]The doctor'll be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
[17:21.07]Okay.
[17:25.77]Oh, man, I swear, if they sold these at Pottery Barn..
[17:32.51]-Hi. -Hi.
[17:34.35]We need to talk.
[17:36.05]Right now? Because I kind of got an alfresco situation going on over here.
[17:41.36]Please, I really.. I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
[17:45.69]-That's fine. Can you stay up near my head? -What? Oh, yeah, sorry. -
[17:49.70]I went crazy. I was thinking about myself when I should've been thinking about you..
[17:55.57]-Okay, head, Ross! Head, Ross! -Right. -
[17:58.01]I want you to know that I'm gonna be there through this whole thing. Okay?
[18:02.74]The doctor's appointments, the Lamaze classes, baby-proofing the apartment.
[18:08.08]Although, we can worry about that after we get married.
[18:10.98]-Married? -Well, yeah, I think we should get married. -
[18:13.69]Because that's your answer to everything?
[18:18.79]No. Because that's the right thing to do.
[18:21.83]Yeah, maybe, if you're in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
[18:27.60]No. But still, I mean, you can't possibly do this alone.
[18:33.64]Excuse me?
[18:35.14]-You can't even eat alone in a restaurant. -What? -
[18:40.85]If you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
[18:44.92]-I can too eat by myself! -When have you ever? -
[18:48.69]When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
[18:53.53]Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
[18:57.20]Oh, please. You inhale your food.
[18:59.63]I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
[19:07.07]Am I interrupting?
[19:08.54]No, Dr. Long. Please come in. This is Ross. He is the father.
[19:12.38]But not the husband, because, evidently, she can do this alone.
[19:16.35]Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this.
[19:22.49]-Why you can't admit you need me? -I need you to stay near my head! -
[19:29.10]Okay. Everything looks good. Here it is on the screen.
[19:34.80]Here's your uterus..
[19:37.64]and right here is your baby.
[19:43.28]Oh, my God.
[19:49.35]There it is. I see it.
[19:51.92]Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute.
[19:55.52]-Okay. -Thank you.
[20:05.23]Pretty amazing, huh?
[20:07.80]I don't see it!
[20:18.18]-What? -I can't see it. -
[20:22.65]But you just said that you did.
[20:24.85]I know. I lied. I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother.
[20:28.59]I can't even see my own baby!
[20:30.56]Oh, sure. Come here. Sure, you can. Come here. Look, it's right there.
[20:42.14]Oh, it's beautiful.
[20:45.31]I see it now.
[20:48.91]-Do you really? -No, I don't see it!
[20:52.18]Okay. Come on. All right. Okay.
[20:55.38]You see this tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
[21:01.39]Yeah.
[21:03.52]Sweetie, that's it.
[21:05.86]That's it?
[21:08.10]Well, I saw that.
[21:16.30]-Thank you. -You're welcome. -
[21:22.11]Wow, I can't believe that's our baby.
[21:29.18]Yeah, that's our baby.
[21:39.93]Well, they put up the new door.
[21:41.80]-So it's all locked up and secure? -Yeah. Why?
[21:45.17]I was trying to figure out how bad I want one of Monica's turkey pot pies.
[21:50.67]-Hi. -Hey.
[21:52.94]-So how was the doctor? -Everything went great. -
[21:56.34]-Good. -Hey, show them the picture of your uterus. -
[22:05.89]I don't see the baby. Where is it?
[22:07.85]Oh, no, I know. I couldn't see it either at first. But it's right..
[22:13.23]Ross, I lost it again.