Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know that I love you. 等一下，在进屋之前 我要你知道我爱你
I had a great time on our honeymoon. 我蜜月时玩得很高兴
I can't wait to spend our life together. 我等不及 要跟你共度一生了
You're sticking with the shell necklace, huh? 你还戴着 那条贝壳项链？
You're back! 你们回来了
Come on in! 快进来
How was the honeymoon? 你们蜜月玩得开心吗？
So much fun. The best part is, we met this great couple. 我们很开心，最棒的是 我们认识一对很棒的夫妇
That was the best part? Good honeymooning, tiger. 那是最棒的吗？ 这真的是很棒的蜜月，小子
They're cool. It was their honeymoon too. 他们很酷 他们也是去度蜜月的
They live here in the city. 他们就住在城里
Can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? 我们能打电话给他们吗？ 现在打会不会太快了？
We're excited. We finally have a couple to hang out with. 我们很兴奋 我们终于认识一对夫妇朋友了
Oh, were you looking for that? 你们想要那么做吗？
Well, yeah. 对
A couple? Like two people? Like one, two people? 夫妇朋友？你是说两个人吗？ 像是一、二，两个人
It's different. Greg and Jenny are married. 那不一样 葛瑞格跟珍妮结婚了
Greg and Jenny? "Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler." 葛瑞格跟珍妮？ “嗨，葛瑞格，我是钱德”
"Hi, Monica. This is Jenny." "Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg." “嗨，摩妮卡，她是珍妮” “嗨，珍妮，嗨，摩妮卡”
-They're great. If you just.. -You know what? -他们真的很棒，如果你们… -你知道吗？
Give us our souvenirs and get out of here. 快送我们纪念品 然后滚出去
-We didn't get a chance to.. -You're kidding! -我们没有机会… -你是在开玩笑
-We didn't get anything for anyone. -Nice necklace. -我们没有买任何人的礼物 -好漂亮的项链
That you can have. 你可以把它拿走
The One With The Videotape 本集播出：录影带风波

-Welcome home. -How was the honeymoon? -欢迎你们回来 -蜜月还好玩吧？
Great! How about you? You're having a baby! 太棒了，你们呢？ 你们要有宝宝了
Yeah, we are. It's so exciting. 没错，那真的很刺激
I always knew you two would have a child out of wedlock. 我就知道 你们会未婚生子
-Look, I have a sonogram picture. -Good. -你看，我有宝宝的超音波照片 -太棒了
Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines. 罗斯，宝宝遗传了你的黑色卷发
Now that Ross knows, how'd it happen? When? How many times? 现在罗斯知道了，到底是怎么发生的？ 在什么时候？你们做了几次？
Monica, that's not right. Start with where. 摩妮卡，那么问是不对的 从你们在哪里做开始说吧
It happened about six weeks ago. 事情发生在六个星期前
I got home and Ross was there. He'd been hanging out with Joey. 我回到家，发现罗斯也在 他跟乔伊混在一起
You're welcome, buddy. 别客气，兄弟
Yeah, thanks. 对，谢谢
I had a lot of work, and Ross offered to help. 我有很多事要做 罗斯主动说要帮忙
We had wine, we got to talking. 我们边喝酒边聊天
Next thing you know, Ross comes on to me. 接下来 罗斯采取主动
That's a little misleading. 那么说是不对的
-What is? -The lie you just told. -什么？ -你刚刚说的谎话
-That you came on to me? -There's the one! -我说是你主动的？ -没错
-But you did. Let's be honest. -Yes, let's. -但那是真的，老实一点吧 -没错，老实一点吧
Ross. If it helps, I don't believe you. 罗斯，希望这有帮助，我不相信你
It's not important. 那不重要
What's important is, we're having a baby, not who came on to who. 重要的是我们要生孩子了 谁先泡“随”并不重要
"Whom." 是“谁”才对
That's right. 没错
-You kissed me first. -You were begging for it! -你先吻我的 -是你求我的
You were sending me signals! 你发暗号给我
I was sending signals? Anyone think that I'd send Ross begging signals? 我发暗号给你？ 谁觉得是我发暗号给罗斯求他的？
Please, show of hands. 请举手
It doesn't matter what people believe! It happened. 别人怎么想并不重要 事情真的发生了
Maybe I need to be more careful. Am I sending these signals now? 或许我得小心一点 我正在发送讯号吗？
-You know what? Just drop it. -Show me how I begged you. -你知道吗？别谈了 -告诉我我是怎么求你的
I can show you! I have it on videotape. 我可以证明 我都录在录影带里了
It's an expression. 那是一种说法
Come on, Rachel, open up. Let me explain. 瑞秋，快开门 听我解释
-Still won't let you in, huh? -No. -她还是不让你进去？ -对
I'm just gonna close this door so we can talk about you. 我要把门关上 我们得好好讨论你们的事
I can't believe he taped them having sex.
Yeah. You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. 对，你得先告诉对方 才能开始录影
Such a rookie mistake. 那是菜鸟才会犯的错误
-Know who has a great camera? -Greg and Jenny? -你知道谁有很棒的摄影机吗？ -葛瑞格跟珍妮？
-I want to call them. -Let's call. -我要打电话给他们 -快打吧
Ask them if they brought their friends souvenirs. 问他们有没有 买纪念品送给朋友
Hello. 8th Street Deli? 喂，第八街外送餐厅
Hang up. You get food poisoning just talking to that place. 快挂掉，光跟他们说话 你就会食物中毒
-Sorry, wrong number. -Here you go, babe. -抱歉，打错了 -来吧，宝贝
Hello? It's the deli again! 喂 又是外送餐厅
All right, I'll have a sandwich. 好吧，我要吃三明治
I don't think this number's right. 我想这个电话号码是错的
-What? -You got fake-numbered. -什么？ -你们拿到假的电话
-What? People don't do that. -Oh, I think we do. -什么？没有人会那么做 -我想我们会
-Why would they do that? -I don't know. -他们为什么要那么做？ -我不知道
You were a delight. You asked those great questions. 你们聊的很开心 你问了那些很棒的问题
And you were never funnier. Joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot! 你也很风趣 老是在开玩笑，你真的很耍宝
You still got me and Phoebe. 你们还有我跟菲比
Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects. 对不起 我不要葛瑞格跟珍妮的退货
Rachel won't talk to me. She won't open the door. 瑞秋不肯跟我说话 她不肯开门
I wonder why, pervert. 我很好奇是为什么，变态
Okay, I am not a pervert. 好吧，我不是变态
That's, like, the pervert motto. 变态都是那么说的
You raise your hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that. 你举起手，把左手放进裤子里 然后再说一次
Filming Rachel was not planned. 我不是故意要拍瑞秋
Here's what happened. Joey can back me up. 事情的经过是这样的 乔伊可以帮我作证
A month and a half ago, remember I came to you with a problem? 还记得一个半月前 我跑去问你一个问题吗？
The personal thing? 我的私人问题？
-What personal thing? -About sex? -什么私人问题？ -关于性的问题？
That I hadn't had sex in months? 我好几个月没有性生活了？
Yeah, I knew what you were talking about. 我知道 你在说什么
（六个星期前）
I'd like to talk about something I'm uncomfortable talking about. 我想谈一件 我很难启齿的事
Sure. 没问题
How about you showering with your mom? 你跟你妈 一起洗澡？
I actually had a topic in mind. 我真的有问题
I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex-wise. 我正进入了 性停滞期
-For, like, months? -Five, to be.. -有好几个月了吗？ -五个月…
lying. Six. 骗人的，是六个月
Six months? That's rough. 六个月？那一定很难熬
It's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the small things, like.. 没有那么糟糕 我学着去欣赏一些小事，譬如说…
the sound of a bird and the color of the sky. 鸟叫声 跟天空的颜色
The sky's blue, Ross. And I had sex yesterday. 天空是蓝色的，罗斯 我昨天做过爱了
Please help me. I have a date tonight. 拜托帮帮我 今晚我有约会
It has to go well. I'm scared for my health. 我得顺利达阵 我很担心我的健康
I got something. It's this story that I came up with. 我有个点子 我想出一个故事
Very romantic. Any woman that hears it is putty. 非常浪漫 听到这个故事的女人都会心动
Tell it to me. 说吧
Now, you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it. 你听完后 一定会想跟我上床
Remember, it is just the story. 记住，那只是一个故事
I'll try to control myself. 我会试着控制自己
Years ago, I was backpacking across Western Europe.. 多年前 我在西欧自助旅行…
-You were backpacking across Europe? -Have a nice six more months. -你在西欧自助旅行？ -六个月后见
I'm sorry. Please, please. You were in Western Europe, and..? 抱歉，求求你 你去了西欧，然后…
I was outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. 我在巴塞隆纳郊外 在第比达包山脚下健行
-Nice. -Thanks. -太棒了 -谢谢
I was at the end of this path, and there was a lake. 我走到小路的尽头 发现了一座湖
Very secluded. There were tall trees all around. 它非常隐密 四周都是高大的树木
It was dead silent. Gorgeous. 那里非常安静 美极了
And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. 我看到在湖的对面 有个美女在洗澡
But she was crying. 但她在哭
Why? 为什么？
This is great wine. 酒真的很棒
It's from France. 它是法国酒
In Europe. 法国在欧洲
Western Europe. 就在西欧
A few years ago I was backpacking across Western Europe. 几年前 我在西欧自助旅行
-Really? -Wait, it gets better. -真的吗？ -等一下，后面的故事很精彩
Yeah, I was in Barcelona. 对，我在巴塞隆纳
I studied for a year in Barcelona. 我在巴塞隆纳念过一年书
-You did? -Yeah. When were you there? -是吗？ -对，你什么时候去的？
-Eighty.. -Nine? -8… -89年？
Three. 83年
I was 13? 那时我才13岁？
-So anyway, I was hiking.. -I love hiking! -总之我在健行… -我喜欢健行
That's great! 那真的太棒了
I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo.. 我在第比达亚波山脚下 健行…
-I think it's "Tibidabo." -Do you want to tell the story? -我想是“第比达包山”才对 -你想说这个故事吗？
How'd your date go? 约会还顺利吗？
Great. I'm across the street having sex right now.
-Your story sucks. -Then you didn't tell it right. -你的故事烂透了 -是你说的方法不对
-Show me how you did it. -No, I don't want to. -告诉我你是怎么说的 -不，我不想谈
-How long since you seen a girl naked? -I was backpacking.. -你上次看到裸女是什么时候的事？ -我在西欧…
-I'm not feeling it. -I was outside Barcelona, hiking.. -我没有感觉 -我在巴塞隆纳郊外健行…
-Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot? -It's been six months. I'm always hot.
You're not selling the story. You don't believe it. 你不是在说故事 你根本就不相信它
I gotta go, I got a date. But try this. 我得走了，我有约会 但试试这招
Do what I do before an audition. 学我在试镜前做的那一招
I'm not hungry. 我不饿
No. 不
Use my camera to record yourself and see what you're doing wrong. 我会用录影机来自拍 看看哪里做错了
I'll try that. 我会试试看
Now, you're all set up. Good to go. Just hit record. Good luck. 已经设定好了，可以拍了 按下录影键就可以了，祝你好运
If you ever have any problem with the ladies, you know I'll help you out. 如果你跟女人约会出了问题 我可以帮你接手
That means a lot to me, man. 那对我来说意义重大
Can I get you anything? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? 需要我帮你效劳吗？ 要擦镜头吗？电池还有电吗？
Ross, thank God you're here. You have to help me. 罗斯，谢天谢地你在这里 你得帮我
Were you talking to yourself? 你在自言自语吗？
That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I was. 那会比较不丢脸 对，没错
When she came in, I totally forgot about the camera. 她一走进来 我完全忘记录影机的事
It kept rolling and recorded everything. 录影机一直在拍 录下了整个经过
Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. 我们得看看 那卷录影带
What a great idea! That'll get Rachel to forgive me. 那是个好主意 那会让瑞秋原谅我
Come on, it'll be like watching the Discovery Channel.. 少来了，那就像是在看 探索频道…
only we'll know the monkeys. 只不过我们知道那两只猴子是谁
Look, I'm not gonna let you guys watch us.
-I haven't even seen it yet. -I'll trade you two tapes of me having sex. -我自己都没有看过 -我可以用我的两卷录影带跟你换
Thanks, I'm good. 谢谢，我很感激
We don't wanna see the dirty stuff..
-just the stuff leading up to it. -No. Rachel's gonna kill me as it is. -我们只想知道事情是怎么发生的 -不，瑞秋会杀了我的
It's not fair to her. Let's forget the tape. 那对她来说不公平 忘了录影带的事吧
Thank you. 谢谢
-No. -You're right. -不 -你说的对
-Joey, no. -Loud and clear. -乔伊，不 -我了解
I don't get why they'd give us a fake number. 我不明白为什么 他们要给我们假的电话号码
If they knew what they were doing, they didn't give you real names. 如果他们知道自己在做什么 他们不会给你们真名
Maybe people give out fake numbers, but not fake names. 或许有人会给假电话号码 但没有人会给假名
Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet you. 嗨，肯亚当斯 很高兴能认识你
Regina Phalange. 蕾吉娜菲拉吉
-We didn't do anything wrong. -I know. -我们没有做错事 -我知道
Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes. 虽然你说了 很多冷笑话
You said they were funny. Joke, joke, joke! 你说它们很好笑 快说笑话吧
Joke, joke.. 说笑话…
-It was your questions. -What about them? -是你问了太多问题害的 -我的问题怎么了？
The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler. 你问了太多问题 那像是跟谜题王坐在一起
-Was that another joke? -Was that another question? -那也是笑话吗？ -那也是问题吗？
Is Ross still here? 罗斯还在吗？
Watch out, honey. Someone else is asking questions now. 小心点，甜心 有人在问问题了
No, but he told us what happened. It was an honest mistake. 不，但他告诉我们发生了什么事 那真的是个误会
How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?
Oh, forget it. 算了吧
There he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village. 他来了，我孩子的爹 西村的色情片之王
It was an accident, okay? 那是个意外，行吗？
I feel bad. I swear, I didn't even watch it. 我觉得很难过 我发誓我还没有看过它
Anyway, here. 总之，拿去吧
You might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. 或许亲手毁了它 你会觉得舒服一点
Thank you. 谢谢
What? 什么？
-You don't want to see this, do you? -Hell, yeah! -你们不想看这玩意吧？ -我们当然想
I am not gonna show you this. 我不会让你们看这个
Not the sex part. Just the stuff leading up to it.
Forget it. 算了，让她毁掉吧
We'll think of another way to put the "who came on to who" thing to rest. 我们会想其他办法 解决“谁先主动”的问题
Come on now, think! 快想
It's Rachel's tape, and she can do whatever she wants. 那是瑞秋的录影带 她想怎么处置它是她的自由
And she wants to destroy it, so end of story. 她想毁了它 别说了
-I want to see it. -What? -我想看 -什么？
You don't want us to see this. 你不希望我们看录影带
You so badly don't want us to see it that it makes me want to see it. 你不希望我们看它 让我想要看个究竟
Are we watching the tape or not? 我们到底要不要看录影带？
-It's for your sake. -I don't believe you. -我是要保护你 -我不相信你
I think you don't want them to see you begging me. 我想你不希望 他们看到你求我
-Rachel, please? -Oh, a little preview. -瑞秋，拜托 -这是预告部份
Fine. I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road. 好吧，我要这卷录影带 证明我是想保护你
Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna be saying.. 因为再过五分钟 我会说…
Okay, here we go. 好吧，要开始了
I'm so happy. 我好快乐
Thank God you're here. Help me. Were you talking to yourself? 谢天谢地你在这里，快帮帮我 你是在自言自语吗？
-There I am. -You're gonna get pregnant. -我出现了 -你就要怀孕了
I screwed up so bad. 我搞砸了
I told Monica that I'd send those wedding invitations weeks ago. 好几个星期前我告诉摩妮卡 我会把喜帖寄出去
You didn't do it? 你没有寄？
I put them in my desk at work, and forgot about them until today. 我把它们放在办公桌上 直到今天才想起来
Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine. 甜心，没关系的 客人都来了，我没事的
-Kind of hurting my hand though. -I know. -但你把我的手弄痛了 -我知道
I can 't believe it, especially after Monica went on and on about it. 我不敢相信 何况摩妮卡每天都在盯我
"Here are the invitations, Rachel. Be very careful, Rachel. 喜帖在这里，瑞秋 小心点，瑞秋
Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations, Rachel." 拜托，别在喜帖附近 喝东西，瑞秋
Did you do it on our invitations?
Not on the ones we sent out. 我们没在寄出去的喜帖上做
So just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed?
It seems like yesterday they just got engaged. 感觉上像是 他们昨天才订婚
I know. 我知道
Remember the night they got engaged? How you and I almost.. 还记得他们订婚那一晚吗？ 你跟我差一点…
Oh, I remember how we almost. 我记得我们差一点就做了
You think we would've gone through with it? 你觉得 我们真的会做吗？
You think we would have done it? 你觉得我们会做吗？
I know I wanted to. I just wasn 't sure if you did. 我知道我想做 但我不知道你要不要
Oh, I wanted to. 我也想
So we both wanted to. 那么我们两个都想
Interesting. 真有趣
Anyway, it probably worked out for the best. 总之这样的结果 或许是最好的
Yeah, sure. 没错
In about 10 seconds, he kisses me. 再过十秒他就要吻我了
In about 5 seconds, you'll see why. 再过五秒你们就会知道为什么
Did I ever tell you about the time I backpacked through Western Europe? 我有没有跟你说过 我到西欧自助旅行的事？
Get ready to see some begging. 准备看她求我吧
-Oh, you came on to Ross! -What? -是你对罗斯主动的 -什么？
Now I'm so happy. 现在我好快乐
-What? -You used the Europe story! -什么？ -你用了欧洲的故事
That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!
-How do you know about that story? -How do you know about that story? -你怎么知道那个故事？ -你怎么知道那个故事？
My friend Irene heard it from some guy. 是一个家伙 告诉我朋友艾琳的
Some guy! 就是我
No, she told me that his name was Ken Adams. 不，她说那个家伙 叫做肯亚当斯
Ken Adams! 我是肯亚当斯
So, people are familiar with the Europe story? 大家都知道 欧洲的故事？
About that, the "who came on to who" thing really doesn't matter. 关于“谁主动”的问题 那真的不重要
It would have happened either way. 反正结果圆满就好了
If you hadn't initiated it, I know I would have. 你说的对 我知道我很快乐
-It was an amazing night. -It was. It was amazing. -那是个神奇的夜晚 -没错，它很神奇
You think it looked amazing? 你觉得它看起来会很神奇吗？
I don't know. I honestly didn't watch it. 我不知道 我真的没看
Yeah, me neither. 对，我也没看
Yet. 我还没有看
-That may be weird. -Yeah, it would be really weird. -那应该会很奇怪 -对，它真的很奇怪
-Good luck. -Good luck to you. -祝你好运 -祝你好运
-Mind if I mute? -Oh, please. -我可以消音吗？ -麻烦你了
-There go the clothes. -You are undressing awfully quickly. -我们开始脱衣服了 -你脱衣服的速度真快
Six months, Rachel. Six months. 我六个月没做了，瑞秋
-We look pretty good. -I was gonna say. -我们看起来很不错 -我也那么认为
-Nice tan. -Thank you. -你的皮夫晒得很漂亮 -谢谢
I'd just gone to the beach that weekend. 那个周末 我才去过海边
-Have you been working out? -I have been working out. -你有在健身吗？ -我一直在健身
This is so much better than I ever.. 这比我之前的经验 要好得多了…
Oh, that's not pretty. 那真的很难看
-Make it stop. Make it stop. -Oh, no! -快停下来 -不
Greg and Jenny's number is totally different in here. 葛瑞格跟珍妮的电话号码 完全不一样
-I don't ask too many questions, do I? -No. -我没有问太多问题吗？ -没有
-Really? -Absolutely not. -真的吗？ -绝对没有
-Really? -Oh, God. -真的？ -天啊
I bet that phone thing was some sort of mix-up. I'm gonna call them. 我敢说电话号码的事是个误会 我要打电话给他们
Hello, Greg? This is Monica from the plane. 喂，葛瑞格吗？ 我是飞机上跟你们见过面的摩妮卡
Listen, the number that you gave me,8-5-3.. 听着，你给我的电话号码 853…
Jenny's been giving out their old number! 珍妮老是给别人 他们的旧电话号码
Jenny! That is so Jenny! 那真的很像珍妮的作风
How would you like to get together next Saturday? 你们下星期六 要跟我们一起去玩吗？
Okay, how about Sunday? 好吧，星期天呢？
Okay, the week after that? 下星期呢？
The week after that? 下下星期呢？
You know what? We are interesting, funny people with good questions. 你知道吗？ 我们是很会问问题的幽默大师
And if you and your precious Jenny can't see that.. 如果你跟你的宝贝珍妮 不能了解…
January 15? 一月十五日？
We'll see you then! 到时候见