[00:01.56]Hey, Ross. 嘿，罗斯
[00:02.86]I'm so glad someone's here. Could you zip me up? 真高兴有人在这里 你可以帮我把拉链拉起来吗？
[00:09.27]- Sure. - Thank you. -当然可以 -谢谢
[00:10.87]Can you believe no one between my apartment and here.. 你相信从我家到这里的路上…
[00:13.68]offered to do that for me? 竟然没有人愿意帮我拉拉链吗？
[00:16.01]People. 真是的
[00:18.41]So why are you so dressed up? 你穿这么漂亮做什么呢？
[00:21.58]Mike's picking me up for a date. 麦克要来接我去约会
[00:23.95]How's that going? Is it getting serious? 交往得如何呢？ 是不是越来越认真了？
[00:27.09]I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I like him. 我不知道，我不知道 我是蛮喜欢他的
[00:30.73]But am I ready to take my Grade A loins off the meat market? 但是我还没有准备好要退出江湖
[00:34.23]I'm not quite sure. 我不太确定
[00:37.90]You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude. 我真的很欣赏你的约会态度
[00:42.07]It's so healthy. I'm always like, "Is this moving too fast? 真是很健康的态度 我总是在想会不会进展太快了？…
[00:45.37]Is this moving too slow? Where's this going?" 会不会进展太慢了？ 这将怎么发展呢？
[00:48.11]I know. You are a bit of a drama queen. 我知道 你就像是个戏剧女王
[00:51.88]You're so much better off. You just go from guy to guy having fun.. 你真是太厉害了 男朋友一个接着一个 享受乐趣...
[00:56.32]and not worrying that it never turns into anything serious. 完全不担心没有结局
[01:00.79]I wouldn't say "never." 我不敢说“完全不”
[01:03.19]You know, there is that guy. 有一次有个男的…
[01:06.23]Okay, well, what about..? 好的，哪个…？
[01:08.86]Okay, there's gotta be someone. 总该有个人吧
[01:11.60]- There isn't! That's what I'm saying. - Oh, my God, you're right! -根本就没有！我就说吧 -喔，天啊，你说的没错！
[01:16.50]I know. And yet, here you are, all ready for the next date. 我知道，一段恋情才刚结束 马上又可以跟其他人约会
[01:21.48]I can't believe I never realized this before. 真不敢相信 我之前都没有注意到这点
[01:24.55]I'm in my 30s, and I've never been in a long-term relationship. 我已经三十几岁了 从来没有爱情长跑过
[01:28.98]Oh, my God, what's wrong with me? 喔，天啊，我是有什么毛病？
[01:35.69]There's nothing wrong with you. 你没有什么毛病
[01:37.63]I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married. 我是说，你不像那种 看起来会想结婚的人
[01:43.13]I want to get married! 我想结婚！
[01:45.67]No, please.. Please don't cry because of me. 别这样，拜托…别因为我而哭
[01:48.27]I don't know what I'm talking about, okay? I've been divorced three times. 我根本不知道我在说什么 我离婚三次了
[01:53.31]At least you've been married. 至少你结过婚
[01:55.14]Oh, my God! I want to trade lives with Ross?! 喔，我的天啊！ 我竟然羡慕起罗斯了？
[02:01.55]Phoebe. 菲比
[02:03.82]- What's wrong? - Nothing. I'm excited about our date. -怎么了？ -没事，要跟你约会太兴奋了
[02:08.22]Mike, this is Ross Geller. Ross, this is Mike.. 麦克，这位是罗斯盖勒 罗斯，这位是麦克…
[02:14.90]- Sorry, I didn't catch that. - Mike Hanigan. -对不起，我没有听清楚 -麦克汉尼根
[02:17.23]- Ross Geller. - Hey. -罗斯盖勒 -嘿
[02:19.40]So are you sure you're ready to go? 你确定准备好了吗？
[02:23.37]How do I look? 我看起来怎样？
[02:26.81]- Do you have a compact in your purse? - No. -你皮包里有小镜子吗？ -没有
[02:30.41]You look great. 你看起来棒透了
[02:34.15]The One With The Sharks 本集播出：鲨鱼
[03:23.26]- Hey, Joey. - This girl won't turn around. -嘿，乔伊 -那个女的就是不转过来
[03:26.27]I can't tell if she's hot or not. What do you think? 我无法判断她是不是很辣 你觉得呢？
[03:29.97]Joey, I am not going to objectify women with you. 乔伊，我不会跟你一起把女性物化的
[03:34.34]But if her face is as nice as her ass.. 但是如果她的脸 跟她的屁股一样棒的话…
[03:36.78]- Mama! - All right. Thanks. -妈妈咪啊！ -好的，谢谢
[03:39.15]- Have you talked to Chandler? - He has to stay in Tulsa this weekend. -你有跟钱德讲电话了吗？ -他这周末要留在土尔沙
[03:42.95]- How come? - I don't know. He has to work. -为什么？ -我不知道，有工作要做
[03:45.52]There's some big rush on the.. 要赶那个…
[03:51.49]Damn it. I'm gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job. 讨厌！我应该要开始 认真听他讲工作的事了
[03:56.86]Why don't you fly out there and surprise him? 你何不飞过去给他个惊喜呢？
[03:59.07]I'd love to. I really miss him. 我很想啊，我真的很想念他
[04:01.27]But I can't. I have one day off and it's just too expensive. 但是不行，我只有放一天假 而且机票太贵了
[04:04.51]Interesting. So Chandler's not worth the price of a plane ticket to you. 真好玩，所以机票钱 比钱德还重要
[04:10.11]Of course he is. 当然是钱德较重要
[04:13.01]Maybe I will go. 或许我应该飞过去
[04:16.82]We'll have a little second honeymoon at the Tulsa Ramada. 我们可以在土尔沙的饭店 来个二度小蜜月
[04:20.99]You should bring your black see-through teddy with the attached garters. 你应该带你那件黑色透明性感内衣 加上吊带裤袜
[04:29.53]- How do you know I have one of those? - Didn't until just now. -你怎么知道我有那件呢？ -本来不知道，现在知道了
[04:36.00]Hot. Not hot. 辣，不辣
[04:39.41]Hot! 辣！
[04:41.71]Excuse me? 什么？
[04:46.18]I said that I think you're hot. 我说我觉得你很辣
[04:48.98]And.. now I'm embarrassed. 而…现在我糗死了
[04:52.49]I thought you said "hi." 我以为你是说“嗨”
[04:55.29]That would've been better. 如果是那样就好了
[04:57.53]I'll try that. Hi, I'm Joey. 我来试试看，嗨，我是乔伊
[05:00.90]I'm Hayley. 我是海莉
[05:03.13]Look, I don't normally ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses. 通常我不约在咖啡店遇到的女生出去
[05:12.01]Gesundheit. 保重
[05:18.78]But.. 但是…
[05:21.35]This is hard. I'm kind of shy. 真是很难开口，我有点害羞
[05:27.79]Seriously, you should see someone about that cold. 真的，你应该去看医生的
[05:30.29]If it gets much worse, you could die. 如果感冒越来越严重，你可是会死的
[05:35.80]- Anyway.. - I would love to go out with you. -反正… -我很乐意跟你出去
[05:39.57]Really? Great. 真的吗？太棒了
[05:42.67]Did I..? Did I actually ask you? 我有…我有开口约你吗？
[05:45.54]That's just where you were going. I figured I'd help you out. 由你说话的方式 我就猜得到你要做什么
[05:48.98]You don't seem like the kind of guy who does this a lot? 你不像是那种经常这样的男生吧？
[05:57.45]Damn it, Gunther, you gave it to me. 真是的，阿甘，你传染给我了
[06:05.39]Oh, it's you. 喔，是你
[06:07.43]With vegetarian corndogs. 我带了素食热狗
[06:12.37]Come on, I just want to talk to you. 别这样，我只想跟你说说话
[06:14.24]About what? How few ova I have left? 说什么？说我还剩下几个卵子吗？
[06:17.81]Come on, I just wanna apologize for what happened yesterday. 别这样，我只想为昨天发生的事道歉
[06:22.08]I'm sorry, Phoebe. 我很抱歉，菲比
[06:25.38]That's okay, Ross. 没关系，罗斯
[06:32.09]- So how'd the date go? - Well, it was awful. -约会还好吗？ -糟透了
[06:34.99]I barely got through dinner. 我几乎撑不过晚餐
[06:36.76]Every time I thought about what you said, I cried. 每次我想到你说的话，我就哭了
[06:39.86]I'm pretty sure he spent most of the night just staring at me in horror. 我非常肯定他整晚都惊恐的盯着我看
[06:45.07]But I couldn't know for sure because my eyes were swollen shut. 但是我无法真的确定 因为我的眼睛已经肿到张不开了
[06:50.37]You know I wasn't trying to make you cry. 你知道我不是故意要惹你哭的
[06:52.94]I was really trying to say something nice. 我本来是想要说一些很好听的话的
[06:55.74]I was basically saying even though you've never been in a serious relationship.. 我只是要说，即使你 从未有过认真的感情…
[06:59.91]- Are we gonna do this again? - Sorry. -我们还要再讨论这个吗？ -对不起
[07:03.05]- So he hasn't called? - Would you call this girl: -他还没打来吗？ -你会打给这种女的吗？
[07:06.09]"Thanks for.. a lovely.. evening"? “谢谢…美好…一晚”
[07:10.36]Now I feel terrible. This is all my fault. 我觉得糟透了 这全都是我的错
[07:12.99]You know what you should feel terrible about? 你知道更糟的是什么吗？
[07:15.70]This could have been my serious guy. 这男的有可能是可以认真的对象
[07:18.03]He was sweet and smart and funny. 他很体贴、聪明又风趣
[07:20.70]You know how hard it is to meet a guy like that? 你知道要遇到这样的男生有多难吗？
[07:23.54]We are a rare breed. 我们的确是稀有动物
[07:29.84]Hey, maybe that's him. 嘿，可能就是他哦
[07:33.92]Hello? 喂？
[07:35.35]Could you hold on one sec? 你可以等一下吗？
[07:37.08]- I need some privacy. - Is it Mike? -我需要一点隐私 -是不是麦克呢？
[07:39.92]No, it's a heavy breather. I'll take what I can get. 不，是骚扰电话 我现在什么都接了
[07:44.63]I'm listening. 我在线上
[07:51.47]What a great dinner. 晚餐实在太棒了
[07:53.33]Thanks again for letting me have that last piece of cake at the restaurant. 再次谢谢你让我吃最后一块蛋糕
[07:58.51]You're welcome again. I'm gonna go make some coffee. 不用客气，我要去煮咖啡
[08:02.04]- Can I get you anything? - Do you have any cake? -你要什么呢？ -你有蛋糕吗？
[08:10.82]So this is going pretty good. 真是进行的太顺利了
[08:13.15]Dinner was nice. We've got a lot in common. 晚餐很棒，我们有许多共同点
[08:16.56]Victoria 's Secret. “维多莉亚的秘密”(性感内衣目录)
[08:18.79]We even like the same books. 我们甚至喜欢相同的书
[08:24.03]There's a scary painting. 这幅画真可怕
[08:26.50]Wait a minute. 等等
[08:28.04]I think I've been scared by that painting before. 我记得好像被这幅画给吓过
[08:33.04]You know what? This whole place looks familiar. 你知道吗？ 这地方看起来真眼熟
[08:35.81]I have definitely been in this apartment. 我一定曾经来过这里
[08:38.08]I know I've seen this weird plant before. 我看过这棵可怕的植物
[08:41.78]It did that the last time! 它上次也是这样刺我！
[08:44.55]Oh, my God. I've gone out with this girl before. 喔，天啊 我跟这个女的约会过
[08:47.69]Yeah! We had sex on this couch! 没错！我们在这沙发上做过爱！
[08:50.26]And then on that chair, and.. No. 然后在那张椅子上 还有…，不对
[08:53.13]No, we didn't do it here.. 不对，没有在这里…
[08:55.16]which is weird, because it seems like a perfectly good place. 这倒是很奇怪，看起来超适合的
[08:59.20]That's why. 这就是为什么
[09:08.84]Hey, Mike. Sorry to just drop by like this. Can I come in? 嘿，麦克，很抱歉这样跑过来 我可以进来吗？
[09:13.38]Sure. 当然
[09:15.42]Who are you? 你是谁呢？
[09:17.65]I'm Ross. Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse? 我是罗斯，菲比在咖啡屋的朋友
[09:20.82]I really, really need to talk to you about something. 我真的非常需要跟你谈一件事
[09:24.79]Unless.. 除非…
[09:26.16]You're not gonna try and get me to join a cult, are you? 你不是要拉我信什么教吧？
[09:31.87]No, it's just, you know, you have that look. 没啦，因为，你知道的 你长得很像那种人
[09:35.87]Damn Supercuts! 该死的199剪发！
[09:40.61]- Well, what's up? Is Phoebe okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah. -怎么回事呢？菲比还好吗？ -喔，还好，还好
[09:44.21]Phoebe is great. But.. 菲比很好，但是…
[09:47.62]I'm an idiot, okay? 我是个蠢蛋
[09:49.82]Right before you guys went out.. 就在你们出去约会前…
[09:54.76]I accidentally got her all upset. 我不小心惹得她很难过
[09:59.49]That's why she was weird. 难怪她不对劲
[10:01.06]Yes. Yeah, I.. 是的，是啊，我…
[10:05.70]Yeah, I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship. 我说了些蠢话，关于她从没有过 认真的恋爱关系等等
[10:10.91]But you should know, she is so much fun. A wonderful person. 但是你应该知道，她是很风趣的 很棒的一个人
[10:15.14]- Please, don't blow her off. - I'm not gonna blow her off. -拜托，别将她判出局 -我不会判她出局的
[10:19.48]I just spoke to her. We're going out tomorrow night. 我才刚跟她说完电话 我们明晚要出去
[10:22.58]I mean, I hope that's okay with you, stranger from the coffeehouse. 我是说，如果你没有意见的话 咖啡屋的陌生人
[10:30.49]That's great. So the crying didn't turn you off? 太棒了，所以她狂哭并没有吓跑你？
[10:35.30]I just got out of a nine-year relationship with a manic-depressive. 我刚刚跟一个躁郁症患者 结束九年的恋情
[10:38.70]Compared to that, Phoebe's a Mousketeer. 跟她相比，菲比根本是只小猫
[10:41.74]Well, then, I didn't need to bother you. 好吧，那我就不需要再打扰你了
[10:44.74]You or the four other Mike Hanigans I bothered. 你，外加四个麦克汉尼根 都被我打扰了
[10:49.91]One of whom was quite large and a little flirty. 其中一个还很高壮 有点爱打情骂俏
[10:59.72]Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Is that true what you said? 等等，等等 你刚刚说的是真的吗？
[11:03.62]Phoebe's never had a serious relationship? 菲比从未谈过认真的恋爱？
[11:07.66]Of course she has. 她当然有过
[11:09.66]If she's never had a serious relationship.. 如果她没有谈过认真的恋爱…
[11:12.33]do you think I'd go around broadcasting it.. 你认为我会到处去广播…
[11:14.77]like some kind of unstoppable moron? 像是无法克制的白痴一样 见人就说吗？
[11:20.37]- But you did say it. - Yes. Yes, I did. -但是你的确是那样说了 -是的，是的，我是说了
[11:25.88]And I will also say.. 而且我还会说…
[11:28.52]what I'm about to say.. 我接下来要说的…
[11:31.75]vis-a-vis.. 相对于…
[11:34.02]the following. 以下的说法
[11:37.73]Phoebe has never had a serious relationship.. 菲比从未谈过认真的恋爱…
[11:43.60]since.. 是从…
[11:45.27]her super-serious relationship.. 她超级认真地…
[11:50.17]with.. 跟…
[11:51.57]Vikram. 伟软分手之后
[11:54.58]- Vikram? - What? That's a real name. -伟软？ -怎样？那是真的名字
[12:06.59]Stop it! 停停吧！
[12:08.46]Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 为什么不是派我去德州呢？
[12:12.29]Seven o'clock. 七点钟
[12:14.60]Maybe I'll hit the gym. 或许我该去健身房
[12:22.47]Who am I kidding? Pay-per-view porn. 少来了，还是看情色频道好了
[12:39.72]- Do not disturb! Do not disturb! - Surprise! -不要打扰！不要打扰！ -惊喜吧！
[12:44.79]- Monica? - Is everything all right? -摩妮卡？ -一切都还好吧？
[12:47.63]Yeah, everything's great. I was just.. 是啊，一切都很好 我刚刚…
[12:49.73]watching some regular television there. 在看一些正常的电视节目
[12:53.23]What a pleasant surprise. 这个惊喜真是太令人兴奋了
[13:03.51]- I'm gonna go freshen up, okay? - Okay, honey. -我去梳洗一下，好吗？ -好的，亲爱的
[13:12.12]That was close. 差一点点
[13:25.23]- Hello. - Hey, Rach, it's me. -喂 -嘿，瑞秋，是我
[13:27.74]Okay, I just got to Chandler's room, and I caught him.. 我刚到钱德的房间 然后看到他…
[13:32.21]molesting himself. 正在自摸
[13:35.94]That couldn't have been pretty. 那划面可能不是很好看
[13:38.21]But you know, guys do that. 但是你知道的，男生常那样做的
[13:40.48]Well, the weird part is.. 但是，很奇怪的是…
[13:42.15]he was getting off.. to a shark-attack show! 他在看的是鲨鱼攻击影片耶！
[13:46.09]- No! - Yes! Chandler watches shark porn! -好恶！ -是的！钱德竟然在看鲨鱼色情片！
[13:58.17]- While watching sharks? - Yeah. -在看鲨鱼的时候？ -是啊
[14:00.40]Are you sure that's what he was doing? 你确定他是在做那档事吗？
[14:02.90]You know how many times I've seen him jump up like that? 你知道我看他 那样跳起来过多少次了吗？
[14:05.97]Believe me, I know what he was doing. 相信我，我知道他在做什么
[14:09.08]Man! Sharks! 天啊！鲨鱼！
[14:11.71]I always knew there was something weird about that dude. 我就知道那个人有地方不对劲
[14:15.78]You promised to love him no matter what. 你发誓过无论如何都要爱他的
[14:17.75]"What" means, like, if he gets a disease or kills someone. “无论如何”讲的是像如果他得病 还是杀了人什么的
[14:22.42]Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws. 而不是如果 他把小弟弟放到鲨鱼嘴里
[14:27.16]You know what, honey? Guys are just different. 你知道吗？亲爱的 男生是很不一样的
[14:29.53]They like things that we can't understand. 他们喜欢一些我们无法理解的东西
[14:32.30]I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend.. 我曾经约会过一个男的 总是想要假装…
[14:34.80]that he was an archeologist, and I was this.. 他是考古学家 而我是…
[14:38.14]naughty cavewoman who he unfroze from a block of ice. 他从冰块中解救出来 调皮的山顶洞女人
[14:44.65]Are you talking about my brother? 你是在说我哥吗？
[14:46.78]I didn't disguise that very well, did I? 我装得不像，对不对？
[14:51.85]- Hey. - Hi. -嘿 -嗨
[14:53.09]I went out with this girl last night. Halfway through our date I realized.. 我昨晚跟一个女孩子出去 我到一半的时候才发现…
[14:57.36]I already slept with her. 我已经跟她上过床了
[15:00.96]You've slept with all the women in N.Y., and now you're going around again? 所以你已经跟全纽约的女人上过床了 现在只是从头开始再来一次？
[15:05.60]That's not even the weird part. 这还不是最奇怪的地方
[15:07.27]- She didn't remember sleeping with me! - You don't remember sleeping with her. -她竟然不记得跟我上过床了！ -你也不记得跟她上过床啊
[15:11.61]But she should remember sleeping with me. I am very memorable! 但是她应该要记得的 我可是很令人难忘的！
[15:16.48]- You guys know. - How do we know? -你们知道的 -我们怎么会知道呢？
[15:18.55]- We've never slept with you. - And whose fault is that? -我们又没有跟你上过床 -那是谁的错呢？
[15:23.12]What's the big deal? You forgot, she forgot. 又没有什么大不了的 你忘了，她忘了
[15:25.62]- Maybe you were having an off night. - Hey! -或许那天晚上你没有达阵！ -嘿！
[15:31.46]I never have an off night. Okay? 我向来都有达阵的，好吗？
[15:34.23]Although, sometimes if I'm a little bloated, I don't feel that sexy. 虽然有时候如果我吃太胀 可能就不会觉得很性感
[15:37.77]But even then, I'm better than most! 但是即使是那样，我都比别人强！
[15:41.37]Honey, why don't you just let it go and ask her out again? 亲爱的，你何不就此释怀 再约她出去呢？
[15:44.64]You're both so slutty, you don't remember who you slept with. 你们都是骚货 你们根本都不记得跟谁上过床
[15:47.78]You're made for each other. 你们是天生的一对
[15:51.21]Interesting. 真有趣
[15:54.45]Well, I'll go out with her again and I'll try to get past it. 好吧，我会再跟她出去 然后忘了过去
[15:57.99]No salt! Bloaty! 不吃盐！会胀气！
[16:00.85]- Joey? - What? -乔伊？ -干嘛？
[16:02.46]You don't think sharks are sexy, do you? 你会觉得鲨鱼很性感吗？
[16:04.69]No. 不会
[16:06.63]Wait a minute. Wait, what was the Little Mermaid? 等一下，等等 小美人鱼是鲨鱼吗？
[16:13.30]It's open! 门没锁！
[16:15.94]- Hey. - Mike called! We're going out again! -嘿 -麦克打电话来了，我们要再约会了！
[16:23.51]Quick thing. I went to talk to Mike. 一件小事，我去找麦克谈过
[16:26.08]What? 什么？
[16:27.65]What did you..? What did you do, Ross? 你做…？ 你做了什么？罗斯
[16:30.18]Oh, boy. You got mad at that part. 喔，天啊，光这样你就生气了
[16:33.92]I went over there, you know, to tell him how.. 我过去找他，告诉他…
[16:36.99]How great you are. But.. 你是个很棒的人，但是…
[16:40.76]Well, you know me. Blah-blah-blah. 嗯，你知道我的，话太多了
[16:45.80]- And I ended up telling him that.. - What? -然后我最后竟然告诉他… -什么？
[16:50.64]You had a six-year-long relationship.. 你有过六年的恋情…
[16:53.94]with a guy named Vikram. 跟一个叫做伟软的人
[16:57.71]What? Why? 什么？为什么？
[16:59.88]Well, he seemed.. 因为，他…
[17:02.72]to bum hard when I told him you'd never been in a serious relationship. 在我说你从未谈过 认真的恋情之后，好像有点惊讶
[17:11.99]If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend.. 如果你不是刚跟我 最要好的朋友生下小孩
[17:15.00]I swear to Lucifer.. 我跟撒旦发誓…
[17:18.53]a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now! 一只狂犬病疯狗正要吃掉 你裤档里的那根东西了！
[17:24.20]I think you'll feel differently when you know.. 我想如果你知道多一点关于伟软的事…
[17:27.31]a little bit about Vikram. 你会感觉好多了
[17:30.21]Okay, he's a.. 好的，他是…
[17:32.38]He's a kite designer. 他是风筝设计师
[17:37.48]And he used to date Oprah. 而且他曾经跟于美人约会过
[17:42.39]I'm not going along with some lie you made up, Ross. 我不会跟你唱双簧说谎的，罗斯
[17:46.39]- I'm just gonna be honest with him. - Good. -我会跟他老实说 -很好
[17:48.96]Just be honest with him. 跟他老实说
[17:50.86]- I have nothing to be ashamed of. - No. -我没有什么好隐瞒的 -没错
[17:53.13]So I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month. 就算我的每段感情 都没有超过一个月…
[17:57.77]Okay? I haven't had a real boyfriend. 那又如何呢？是啊 我是没有过真正的男朋友
[18:00.41]If he can't handle it, then he can leave. Which he will. 如果他无法接受 那他可以离开，我想他会离开的
[18:05.18]And, you know, that's okay. So I'll just be alone forever. 而这一切都没有关系 我只不过会永远孤单而已
[18:08.98]You know, all right. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. 都没关系了，一切都会没事的
[18:11.92]I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians. 我就跟寡妇还有同性恋一起出去玩嘛
[18:17.96]- I'll get it. - Okay. -我去开门 -好的
[18:22.76]I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there. 让我想想有哪一次，开门的人不是你
[18:30.00]Phoebe, are you okay? 菲比，你还好吗？
[18:34.51]Yeah. There's just.. 还好，只不过是…
[18:38.61]There's something you should know. 有件事你必须要知道
[18:43.28]Vikram just called. 伟软刚打电话来
[18:47.62]So it was really a shock after 25 years of marriage.. 所以在经历二十五年的婚姻之后 这真是很让人惊讶
[18:50.69]my parents getting divorced. I took it the hardest.. 我的模范父母竟然要离婚 我真的很难接受
[18:53.79]- because I was the youngest. - Sure. Yeah. -因为我是老么 -当然啰
[18:56.73]How can you not remember me? 你怎么会忘了我是谁？
[18:59.73]What? 什么？
[19:00.97]How could you not remember that we slept together? 你怎么会忘了我们上过床？
[19:03.07]- What? When? - I don't know! -什么？何时？ -我不知道！
[19:06.67]I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you. 我真的、真的认为 如果有我会记得的
[19:10.11]Come on, come on. Search your brain, all right? It was.. 快点，快点 仔细回想，好吗？那就在…
[19:13.71]a certain amount of time ago. I was here. You were here. 之前某个时候 我在这里，你在这里
[19:17.52]We had sex here, here, here.. 我们在这里，这里，这里…
[19:20.12]Not there. 没有那里，嘿咻
[19:22.22]- Anything? - No, it's not ringing any bells. -想起来了吗？ -没，一点印象也没有
[19:25.53]My God, woman! 天啊，女人！
[19:27.86]How many people have you been with not to remember this? 你跟多少人上过床 让你根本不记得我？
[19:30.90]Hey, Hayley. We really gotta fix that doorknob. 嘿，海莉 我们真的要修理那个门把了
[19:35.77]Joey? 乔伊？
[19:41.51]I slept with you! 我跟你上过床！
[19:45.28]And you obviously remember me! Hey, I still got it! 而且很明显的你记得我！ 嘿，表示我还不赖！
[19:49.28]So we're good. 所以我们还好嘛
[19:52.12]I'll let myself out. 我自己出去
[19:56.09]And I said, "Okay, Vikram.. 然后我说，伟软…
[19:59.23]you can't just call every time you get lonely. 你不能每次寂寞就打电话给我
[20:02.83]You gave up that right when you slept with Rachel." 在你跟瑞秋上床之后 你就没有那个权力了
[20:07.47]Rachel? I thought she just had a baby with Ross. 瑞秋？我以为她才刚生下罗斯的小孩
[20:10.04]Yeah, well.. 是啊，嗯…
[20:12.14]Yeah. 是啊
[20:14.31]But Emma's birth certificate might say "Geller".. 艾犸的出生证明上或许生父是罗斯…
[20:17.58]but her eyes say "Mukherjee." 但是她长得像伟软
[20:21.78]That is so wrong. And on top of that, he's a glue sniffer? 这实在太糟了 而且他还吸强力胶？
[20:25.85]I know. But he calls, and my heart goes to him. 我知道，但是他打来时 我的心就飞向他了
[20:28.96]You know, that bastard is one smooth-talking freelance kite designer. 你知道的，那个浑蛋是个很会 说话的风筝设计师
[20:35.86]If you want, I'll mess him up for you. 如果你要的话，我可以帮你修理他
[20:41.13]You would do that? 真的吗？
[20:42.67]Unless he's big. If he's really big, I'll send him.. 除非他很大只 如果他真的很大只，我会给他…
[20:46.41]a rude letter. 一封信，骂死他
[20:49.41]I think there's somebody better out there for you. 我想有更好的人在等着你
[20:53.21]I mean, you know, I'm.. I'm not saying me, but.. 我是说，你知道的，我… 我不是指我，但是…
[20:57.92]Maybe.. me. 或许…是我
[21:02.92]And you don't have to worry about glue-sniffing with me. 而且你不用担心我会吸强力胶
[21:05.99]Although, I do smell the occasional Magic Marker. 虽然有时候我会闻马克笔的味道
[21:10.93]Yeah. Anyway, I just.. 是啊，反正，我只是…
[21:14.27]I think I can make you happy. 我想我可以让你快乐
[21:20.24]- Okay, I can't do this. - What's wrong? -好了，我办不到 -怎么了？
[21:22.84]Well, there is no Vikram. Ross made him up. 根本没有伟软这个人 罗斯乱扯的
[21:27.05]Because I.. 因为我…
[21:28.68]I really never have been in a long-term relationship. 我从未有过爱情长跑
[21:31.75]I've never lived with a guy. I've never even celebrated an anniversary. 我从未跟男人同居过 从来没有庆祝交往一周年
[21:36.46]So.. 所以…
[21:39.56]If that's too weird for you.. 如果这对你而言太奇怪…
[21:42.66]and you want to leave, I understand. 所以你想现在就走人 我可以理解
[21:44.97]In fact, I'll close my eyes to make it less awkward. 事实上，我要闭上双眼 让这一切不至于太尴尬
[21:55.81]You kissed me. 你亲了我
[22:00.61]- You don't think I'm a total freak? - No. -你不认为我是怪人吗？ -不
[22:04.02]Well.. 那么…
[22:06.45]Look, can I..? 那，我可不…？
[22:08.09]Can I think you're a little weird and also cool.. 我可不可以认为你有点怪 但又有点酷…
[22:11.36]for telling me the truth and also want to kiss you? 因为你告诉我事情的真相 而且让我想亲你？
[22:13.99]I guess so. 我想应该可以
[22:16.50]Can I think it's cool that you kissed me.. 我可不可以认为，你亲我真是很酷…
[22:19.13]and also want to kiss you again? 而且我想要亲回去？
[22:23.27]And be a little concerned about the Magic Markers? 有一点担心马克笔的事可以吗？
[22:27.67]Definitely. 当然可以
[22:36.12]This is Vikram. 我是伟软
[22:41.86]I need to talk to you about the long-term relationship we had. 我需要跟你谈我们之间 那段长期的恋情
[22:46.56]
[22:55.27]Hi, honey, I'm home. 嗨，亲爱的，我回来了
[22:58.44]Hi. 嗨
[22:59.87]- How was your flight? - It was great. -旅途还好吗？ -不错
[23:02.74]I ordered a pool float from the Sky Mall. 我从飞机上的购物目录订了浮板
[23:08.05]Why'd I do that? 为什么我要订呢？
[23:11.28]Why don't you sit down. 过来坐下吧
[23:13.32]Get yourself comfortable. 放轻松、舒服点
[23:14.96]Because I have a little.. 因为我有个小…
[23:17.79]surprise for you. 惊喜要给你
[23:21.13]Well, well, well. It must be 5:00 in Tulsa.. 喔，喔，喔 土尔沙现在一定是五点…
[23:23.93]because it's "sex o'clock" in N.Y.C.! 因为纽约现在是“六”点（音近性）！
[23:29.50]Okay. This is how much I love you. 好了，这代表我有多爱你
[23:34.88]The great white.. 大白鲨…
[23:42.68]Honey? 亲爱的？
[23:44.48]Why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around? 为什么要我看一群鲨鱼游来游去呢？
[23:49.06]Is this..? Is this not the good part? 这不是…？ 这不是你爱看的吗？
[23:51.53]Do you want me to fast-forward to something.. toothier? 要我快转吗？ 转到露齿…比较多的地方吗？
[23:56.43]No, I'm just not sure that you got the right movie, that's all. 不，我只是想确定 你是不是拿错了录影带
[24:01.57]This is the only one they had at our video store. 录影带店里只有这一卷
[24:04.34]Though they did have something called Crocodile Killers. 不过他们倒是有一部叫“鳄鱼杀手”的
[24:07.61]Or does it always have to be sharks? 还是说，你非要鲨鱼不可呢？
[24:12.55]Does what always have to be sharks? 为什么我非要鲨鱼不可？
[24:14.75]Look, we can do something else. 听着，我们可以来点别的
[24:17.12]Do you want me to get into the tub and.. thrash? 你要我到浴缸里…再用力扭吗？
[24:23.06]- What's going on? - It's okay. It's okay. -到底是怎么回事？ -没关系，没关系的
[24:26.79]I still love you. 我还是爱你的
[24:28.60]- Let me be a part of this. - Let me be a part of this! -让我了解这一切 -是你应该让我了解这一切！
[24:33.97]I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. 我看到你在土尔沙做的事
[24:36.37]Angry sharks turn you on! 愤怒的鲨鱼让你“性”奋！
[24:40.47]No, they don't. 不，并没有
[24:42.64]Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat? 那为什么你一边看着他们 一边自己玩呢？
[24:47.45]Oh, my God! When you came in, I switched the channel. 喔，天啊！当你一进来 我就转台了
[24:50.92]I was just watching regular porn. 我本来只是在看一般的色情片
[24:54.69]Really? 真的吗？
[24:55.99]Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned, American, girl-on-girl action. 是的，只不过是一些正常 老套、美式的女对女动作片
[25:02.30]Can I tell you how happy that makes me? 这件事真是让我太高兴了
[25:07.00]You are an amazing wife. 你是个不可思议的老婆
[25:10.14]Really, you are amazing. You were actually gonna do this for me? 真的，太不可思议了 你真的愿意为我这样做？
[25:13.67]Where do you find the strength and the understanding for that? 你是怎么会有这样的 意志跟谅解呢？
[25:19.21]I'm very, very drunk right now. 因为我现在非常、非常地醉
[25:28.86]Ordinarily, I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken. 通常我会去跟她搭讪的 但是我的自信已经动摇了
[25:32.33]Did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her? 我有跟她上床吗？ 我没有跟她上床吗？
[25:35.83]Maybe this is a wake-up call. You know, about your whole dating attitude. 或许该是你反省的时候了 检讨你的整个约会态度
[25:40.67]You're in your 30s and you have never been in a long-term relationship. 你已经三十好几了 没有谈过一个长期的恋爱
[25:46.04]Here you go from woman to woman.. 女人从一个换到另一个…
[25:48.11]meaningless experience to meaningless experience. 没有意义的关系 换到另一个没有意义的关系
[25:50.68]Never even worrying that it doesn't turn into something more serious. 从不担心这些恋情都没有任何的发展
[25:54.48]You're right. I love my life! 你说的没错，我爱死我的人生了！
[26:01.69]I actually did sleep with her. 事实上我跟她上过床了