[00:00.411]Hey,hon?Would you help me get the plates down?
[00:03.046]Yeah.Hey,here’s an idea.
[00:05.091]Why don’t we use our wedding china today?
[00:07.029]No, I just think we should save our china
[00:08.457]for something really special.
[00:08.960]Like if the queen of England comes over.
[00:13.479]Honey,she keeps canceling on us.Take the hint.
[00:17.640]What if something get broken?They’re so expensive.
[00:19.791]What is the point of having them if we never use them?
[00:23.079]Okay.But if something get broken and then the queen comes over.
[00:26.081]I will explain it to her.
[00:27.609]Like I’d let you talk to the queen.
[00:31.979]Wow,the parade is really good this year.
[00:35.070]Man,those horses can crap.
[00:38.742]Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee,Oklahoma.
[00:41.181]Muskoqee?That’s like four hours from Tulsa!
[00:46.577]And here’s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap..Days of Our Lives.
[00:51.835]Oh,my God!!
[00:57.414]Aren’t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives?
[01:00.591]Yeah. I forgot! I’m supposed to be there!
[01:05.878]I can’t believe I forgot!
[01:07.046]I usually write stuff like this down on my arm!
[01:12.145]Stupid long sleeves!
[01:16.280]What are you gonna do?
[01:17.717]I’ll come up with a good reason why I wasn’t there.
[01:21.463]The producer are gonna be mad.
[01:23.117]They sat us down and said:“Everyone has to be there,6 a.m. sharp.That means you,Tribbiani.”
[01:29.364]Like I was some kind of idiot.
[01:34.136]Well,you proved them wrong.
[02:25.269]Oh,Emma
[02:27.421]This is your first Thanksgiving.What are you thank for?Mommy’s boobies?
[02:35.881]A lot of people are thankful for those.
[02:39.703]Hello? Rachel?
[02:43.201]Who is it?
[02:44.390]It’s your favorite sister.
[02:47.073]Jill?- Amy!-
[02:50.094]Hide my rings.
[02:56.975]Amy! Happy Thanksgaving.
[03:05.174]Do you have a hair straightener?
[03:12.142]Hair straightener.
[03:14.959]I haven’t seen you in like a year
[03:16.887]I know. I know. I’ve just been crazed.
[03:19.862]Well,me too. I had a baby
[03:23.007]I decorated Dad’s office.
[03:26.015]Yeah? Well,unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.
[03:32.722]Listen, about that hair straightener,honey I really need. I’m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend’s house.
[03:39.358]Oh my God.
[03:41.540]Is this Emmett?
[03:48.559]It’s Emma.
[03:49.871]It’s a girl?
[03:53.344]Hey Amy.
[03:54.569]Amy,you remember Ross?
[03:57.211]Not really.
[03:59.355]But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.
[04:05.911]That was me.No, he was this creepy guy from high school
[04:11.085]who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade.
[04:14.723]Still me
[04:17.761]No, I’m not talking about you.
[04:19.267]It was your fat friend’s brother with that bad Afro.
[04:22.144]Okay Amy. I’m gonna save you time, okay?
[04:24.197]All me!
[04:30.828]Careful.Careful.Careful
[04:36.789]I’ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives.I’ll be careful until told otherwise.
[04:43.881]This isn’t the china we picked out. I know.
[04:46.400]After you left the store, I chose different ones.
[04:50.263]Why? - No offense, honey.
[04:51.762]but your taste  is a little feminine for me.
[04:54.251]Suddenly flowers are feminine?
[04:58.368]Hey,everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
[05:01.327]Happy Thanksgiving.Phoebe!
[05:03.884]What’s going on.Joe?
[05:04.845]Listen. I need a good lie.
[05:07.946]How about the whole “man walking on the moon”thing, you know?“
[05:12.713]You can see the strings people!
[05:16.532]No,no,no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at a work thing today.
[05:20.461]Honey you stink at lying.
[05:22.382]I do not.
[05:23.362]Really? Let me ask you something.
[05:24.819]Yesterday at the coffeehouse..I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone.Who took it?
[05:31.864]Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse..and a raccoon ran in
[05:36.619]And went straight for your muffin. I said:“Hey don’t eat that!That’s Phoebe’s!”
[05:40.265]And he said:
[05:43.855]He said,”Joey, you stink at lying.”
[05:46.396]What am I gonna do?
[05:48.104]Don’t worry.We’ll come up with a lie.
[05:49.666]I’ll help you practice.
[05:50.550]Great.That’d be great.Thank you
[05:52.433]Sure. What was the work thing?
[05:55.846]“Pick up Grandma at the airport.” -Oh ,man!
[06:03.079]She‘s precious.
[06:05.435]Do you ever worry that she’s gonna get your real nose?
[06:09.199]Amy..
[06:12.149]Yes I do. I really do.
[06:19.054]Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
[06:24.501]Sure. We don’t live there, but..
[06:28.059]Seriously? It’s just these rooms?
[06:32.388]I thought you were a doctor.
[06:34.350]Yean no. Ross has a Ph.D.
[06:41.938]God.. She is unbelievable
[06:45.175]I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD
[06:48.436]Sure. Ross,yeah!
[06:50.438]If I have a heart attack at a restaurant,I want you there with your fossil brush.
[06:57.291]Stupid Thanksgiving.-What? What ?What happened?
[07:00.937]My boyfriend canceled on me.
[07:02.825]I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town!
[07:10.570]I swear,it’s almost not even worth dating married guys.
[07:14.237]Don’t say that.
[07:18.505]God, I was so looking forward to this.
[07:20.136]It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving.
[07:23.339]We were gonna have sushi.
[07:27.105]Amy..don’t cry
[07:30.521]Ross,can I talk to you in private?
[07:32.807]Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?
[07:39.241]Look. I was thinking. If it’s okay with Monica..
[07:41.818]I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
[07:45.473]You know, I think that’s a great idea. It‘ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.
[07:52.638]Look. I know she’s a little tough to take.
[07:54.539]But she has nowhere to go and she’s my sister. She’s Emma’s aunt.
[08:00.374]And I would like them to bond.
[08:02.589]Ok,fine. I don’t want them bonding too much.
[08:05.710]I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
[08:08.061]Ross you know what she may need one.We’re just gonna have to make our peace with that!
[08:19.611]Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy.
[08:25.259]This is Chandler.Joey.Phoebe. and you know Mon.
[08:29.310]Oh my god. You‘re on Days of Our lives!
[08:33.308]Yeah
[08:34.933]Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you!
[08:40.363]Happy Thanksgiving!
[08:48.376]So welcome. Is this the first time you’re seeing Emma?
[08:51.411]Yeah.. I think so
[08:52.991]It’s nice to meet you.Emma
[08:56.560]Phoebe.-That’s a funny noise.
[09:03.878]Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay.
[09:08.031]So it’s not just the lie you tell but it’s the way you tell it. For example
[09:12.048]If you look at the ground when you’re talking, people know you’re lying.
[09:16.513]I don’t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting
[09:21.027]and I am a terrific actor
[09:22.298]You’re a terrific actor
[09:26.986]Hey. Where’s the baby?
[09:28.929]We just put her down for a nap.
[09:30.864]Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible?
[09:34.647]If you guys died..
[09:38.869]Thank you Amy.
[09:41.296]No,no then I would get the baby
[09:44.304]It would be just like a movie.
[09:46.598]At first I wouldn’t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion
[09:48.720]I’d get a makeover and get married
[09:53.132]That’s a great movie!
[09:57.380]Now listen.Not that you guys could stop me or anything
[10:00.166]Because you know you’d be dead.
[10:02.734]But I was thinking about changing her name
[10:05.331]I’m just not really a big fan of Emily.
[10:09.286]Emma
[10:11.536]Emma? Ross wants you.
[10:16.053]Pheobe!
[10:19.269]Why does she keep making that noise?
[10:25.124]Honey I don’t know how to tell you this ..
[10:27.131]But if something were to happen to Ross or myself
[10:31.270]you would’t get the baby
[10:34.088]Well who would?
[10:36.338]Well we haven’t officially asked them yet
[10:39.019]But we would want Monica and Chandler
[10:42.753]I can’t believe you’d want us to raise Emma
[10:45.474]Oh my God. I’m so moved.
[10:47.689]I don't believe this.Hold on a second. You guys die
[10:49.886]and I don’t get your baby?
[10:52.718]Amy see..we’re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler
[10:56.454]We see them every day. And truthfully you don’t seem connected to the baby
[11:00.656]Connected? To what? She’s a lump.
[11:06.992]You know guys I’ve gotta say this means so much to me
[11:09.863]I mean that you would trust me ..with your child
[11:14.009]I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own
[11:20.060]You know. I’ve had my doubts about my skills as a father.
[11:23.132]But..that you two ..that you two..
[11:29.204]This guy? Seriously?
[11:37.527]
[11:39.252]Okay. It’s time for dinner
[11:41.477]Everyone we’re using our fancy china and it’s very expensive. So please be careful
[11:48.756]
[11:55.426]Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well-received.
[12:06.962]Hey..How come my plates less fancy than everyone else’s?
[12:13.674]Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
[12:16.560]No honey..That’s a special plate
[12:19.298]See..it’s a game.Whoever gets that plate wins.
[12:25.290]I can’t believe I won!
[12:28.715]You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I’m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me
[12:36.460]Monica is Ross’ sister
[12:39.527]No Ross’ sister was really fat.
[12:44.777]That was me
[12:47.143]No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy
[12:51.630]Amy you’ve got to stop doing that!
[12:55.946]
[13:00.342]Okay.listen I know you’re having a bit of a family crisis but you don’t have to take it out on the plates.
[13:06.034]I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this..
[13:15.245]See it , this way you protect plates and let’s face it you have fun
[13:21.834]Okay how about this? If you guys die ..and the crazy plate lady dies
[13:28.314]Then do I get the baby?
[13:31.679]No if crazy plate lady..
[13:35.730]If Monica dies then I would get Emma.Right?
[13:39.482]
[13:42.916]Well,actually.
[13:44.235]Actually what?
[13:45.730]It’s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents
[13:52.938]What ? - Hurts, doesn’t it?
[13:57.604]Who has to die for me to get her?
[14:00.599]
[14:07.666]So if Moinca’s not around I’m not good enough to raise Emma?
[14:11.189]No that is not what we’re saying
[14:13.920]Yeah..he’s lying.He looked down
[14:17.861]What’s wrong with me? Am I incompetent?
[14:20.202]Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you
[14:26.819]You’re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent
[14:31.788]It’s jus， you're more the you know ..fun parent
[14:35.738]Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica
[14:41.171]who’s more of a disciplinarian.Someone who can be firm and strict
[14:45.570]That’s not how you see me ,is it?
[14:48.451]No you’re all about the fun
[14:53.719]
[14:57.268]I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I’m not capable
[15:01.217]No. You both are equally capable
[15:03.872]It’s just you’re strongest when you’re together.
[15:06.989]Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died，she ‘d have to give her up
[15:13.907]Sure,Monica would have to give he up
[15:16.323]
[15:17.506]I lie better than that right?
[15:21.225]
[15:21.636]Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma ,then my wife dies.Then Emma
[15:27.542]the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me?
[15:31.242]There’s your movie.
[15:36.057]
[15:37.555]Hey, there you are
[15:39.880]You disappeared after dinner
[15:41.622]Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly?
[15:46.722]Ross and Rachel don’t know what they’re saying.
[15:50.102]It’s not like they’re so responsible.Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom
[15:59.044]No they’re right. I’m not a strong father figure, and I never will be.
[16:03.626]No you learn these things. You grow into it.
[16:05.280]Yeah,but it’s not who I am
[16:07.193]Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It’s true.
[16:11.994]And look everybody knows it
[16:13.681]I don’t know it
[16:15.425]I wanna have a kid with you because I think you’ll be an amazing dad.
[16:19.257]At the fun parts and at the hard parts
[16:22.712]Well can you picture me saying “Go to your room you’re grounded”?
[16:25.878]Can you hear me say”You’re grounded”?
[16:28.492]You said that to me last week
[16:32.631]How hard is it?“No shoes on the furniture!”
[16:38.080]
[16:41.629]The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn’t at the parade
[16:47.464]They said everybody’s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa!
[16:53.031]It’s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you.
[16:55.577]It’s easy to remember and it doesn’t invite a lot of questions.
[16:59.299]You weren’t at the parade because you had family emergency
[17:03.562]I like that! Yeah
[17:06.528]I wasn’t at the parade because I had a family emergency.
[17:09.368]What happened?
[17:11.466]My sister’s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon!
[17:16.777]
[17:17.649]Wait..what are you doing? - setting the table
[17:19.837]We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too
[17:24.248]How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
[17:35.417]Hey dude you okay?
[17:36.878]Sorry about before
[17:37.927]That’s okay.You’re totally right I don't know anything about disciplining a child.
[17:42.334]But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died ..you don’t get joey
[17:53.089]
[18:02.769]In case you hadn’t noticed I’m not talking to you
[18:08.250]You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel
[18:11.060]Oh yeah right.Remember in high school when I died and didn’t give you my baby?
[18:18.298]This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel
[18:22.336]I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career
[18:24.168]What career? - I’m a decorator
[18:28.635]You decorate Dad’s office and now you’re a decorator?
[18:32.269]okay I went to the zoo yesterday.Now I’m a koala bear.
[18:39.927]Why can’t you ever be supportive?
[18:42.018]You wanna talk supportive?
[18:43.872]You didn’t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby!
[18:48.004]You didn’t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done!
[18:53.391]I did the first time
[18:57.980]You know what？ You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you?
[19:01.076]Emma -
[19:01.605]Whose side are you on?!
[19:05.418]I’m not giving you Emma because you can’t handle the responsibility of a child.
[19:10.147]Well how hard could it be? You do it
[19:17.915]You wanna know why you don’t want me to have the baby?
[19:21.255]Because you don’t want me to be happy
[19:23.707]You  have always been jealous of me
[19:26.061]Jealous of what?
[19:27.494]Of you lack of responsibility?Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people’s  feelings?
[19:34.673]To name a few
[19:38.942]You know. You’ve always been like this.You had to have everything.
[19:40.906]and I couldn’t have anything.
[19:44.478]Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me?
[19:50.722]Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime!
[19:53.191]Come on that was 20 years ago
[19:54.340]Get over it
[19:56.943]I cannot believe that I invited you here today!
[19:59.877]Yeah well you know what  I cannot believe
[20:01.705]That my so-called sister
[20:03.808]Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren.
[20:06.693]and I still have to pay retail?
[20:10.161]It’s 45.
[20:14.193]You bitch
[20:18.541]You just think you’re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment
[20:26.043]Well  let me tell you something.
[20:28.297]Your baby isn’t even that cute
[20:32.447]Too far Amy.Too far
[20:38.279]
[20:40.183]Take it back. -No what are you gonna do ?Make me?
[20:41.329]Hey man I work out!
[20:47.679]So do I
[20:48.591]I do Pilates
[20:49.560]I do yoga.
[20:50.651]Bring it on!
[20:55.744]Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes!
[20:57.831]Did you just push me? - Yeah I think I did
[21:00.000]All right that’s it.
[21:01.411]Forget the bubble wrap!There isn’t time!
[21:12.858]Oh my god.Shouldn’t we stop this?
[21:15.195]Are you out of your mind? Let’s throw some jell-O on them!
[21:36.733]All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way!
[21:41.880]If you can’t act your age you shouldn’t be here at all
[21:44.566]Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out.
[21:50.070]but they’re very important to Monica.
[21:52.000]And I want you to apologize to her, now
[21:55.598]I'm sorry.-Mon,I’m so sorry
[21:58.753]Okay That’s better
[22:00.293]Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it
[22:03.809]Sorry. Sorry
[22:06.140]By the way that fight was totally arousing
[22:13.753]Dude.Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies.you can totally take care of Emma.
[22:22.118]Yeah,well thanks.
[22:24.336]So..so now do I get Joey?
[22:28.808]Okay .but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose.
[22:38.903]Are you okay?mon?
[22:41.109]I mean these things happen.
[22:43.237]I means it’s just a plate.It’s not somebody died
[22:47.072]It’s all right. You can mourn
[22:49.145]Thank you. It was so beautiful
[22:55.369]I’m gonna go to Joey’s and get the pies.
[22:57.408]Actually not pies.It’s just a pie
[23:02.751]I don’t care
[23:05.013]Oh my god. I’ve lost the will to scold
[23:12.962]Look Amy..
[23:15.315]We got a little.. a little out of control over there
[23:20.687]And I’m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you
[23:28.028]So you’re gonna give me the baby?
[23:29.839]No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount
[23:35.308]You are not gonna regret this
[23:41.740]She needs changing.
[23:42.723]No no no .I’ll get her
[23:44.907]I am super confident ,totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma
[23:49.222]I’ll be right there,Emma
[23:50.356]Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here.
[23:59.134]Well.what do you know?I guess I’ll be the one who dies first
[24:18.679]Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet?
[24:20.642]Nope
[24:21.509]Broke them all, huh? -Yep
[24:23.059]You gonna tell her?-Nope
[24:27.624]Hey .So I’m gonna put the plates back
[24:31.052]I think you’re right.We shouldn’t use these plates for a long time
[24:34.479]Like only if the queen comes?
[24:35.934]Maybe not even then.
[24:39.196]Hey I did it
[24:40.643]I told my producer I had a family emergency.He totally bought it
[24:44.855]Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs
[24:46.227]No problem.Next week,stealing
[24:50.791]Bye plates
[24:51.908]You told her you broke all the plates?
[24:55.968]What？Something happened with the plates?
[25:00.133]Yeah..this raccoon came in..