Ted: Hi, Ellen. I think I want my money back. 

Woman: I'm a failure. I'm all washed up. I tried everything, Ted. I widened the search parameters, I tweaked the program.  Last night, I stood out on the street for five hours showing your photo to random pedestrians. No takers. Although this transvestite hooker said he/she would do you for half price because you kind of look like John Cusack and his/her favorite movie was Say Anything... 

Ted: Come on, Ellen. I mean, a pint of ice cream. Isn't that a bit clich? 

Woman: It's for the bourbon. 

Ted: This isn't hopeless. You're gonna find someone for me. 

Woman: No, I won't. You're gonna die alone. 

Ted: I'm not gonna die alone. Look at me. I'm bright. I'm attractive. You just gotta get back out there and keep looking. 

Woman: No. You're never gonna find anybody.  And every year, you're just getting older and it's getting harder and harder.

Ted: You're being ridiculous.  I'm gonna be up on that wall one of these days.

Woman: No, you won't! 

Ted: Yes, I will! 

Woman: How do you know? 

Ted: I don't know, but I believe. Hell, if a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy city, then damn it, so can I! 





Ted: 嗨, Ellen 我想要回我的钱 Woman: 我真失败 我全搞砸了. 我什么都试过了, 泰德, 我扩大了搜寻参数,在系统中搜索. 昨晚我站在大街上, 5个小时拿着你的照片希望能在行人中找到合适的人, 没人愿意. 尽管那些易装妓女说.. 他/她愿意半价让你上, 因为你长的象John Cusack 他/她最喜欢的电影明星 Ted: 别这样, Ellen. 我说, 一盒冰淇淋是不是太老套了 Woman: 这是用来装波旁的（一种威士忌酒） Ted: 别绝望. 你会给我找到合适的人的 Woman: 不, 我找不到. 你会孤独至死 Ted: 我不会孤独到死. 看看我, 我聪明, 我有吸引力. 你只要振作起来继续寻找 Woman: 不, 你永远找不到任何人适合你. 每过一年你就老一岁, 这就会变的更加困难 Ted: 这太可笑了, 不多久我将会出现在这面墙上 Woman: 不, 你不会 Ted: 不, 我会 Woman: 你怎么知道 Ted: 我不清楚, 但是我相信! 如果一只蟑螂和老鼠能在这城市找到真爱. 那么, 他妈的, 我也能