[00:00.37]:VERONICA:
[00:00.84]September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person.
[00:06.01]Ya know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year.
[00:12.30]And uh...I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and I ask myself: What happened?
[00:17.68]KIDS:
[00:17.85]Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!
[00:22.78]VERONICA:
[00:22.88]We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased.
[00:27.70]KIDS:
[00:27.91]Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!
[00:30.55]VERONICA:
[00:30.75]Singing and clapping,
[00:31.84]laughing and napping,
[00:33.24]baking cookies, eating paste.
[00:35.80]KIDS:
[00:35.83]Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!
[00:38.33]VERONICA:
[00:38.54]Then we got bigger.
[00:39.59]That was the trigger,
[00:41.03]Like the Huns invading Rome -
[00:44.58]Oh sorry!
[00:46.07]Welcome to my school,
[00:47.07]This ain't no high school:
[00:48.67]This is the Thunderdome.
[00:50.22]Hold your breath
[00:51.37]and count the days,
[00:52.66]we're graduating soon.
[00:53.87]KIDS:
[00:54.07]White trash!
[00:55.05]VERONICA:
[00:55.07]College will be paradise
[00:57.7]If I'm not dead by June!
[01:01.11]But I know, I know, life can be beautiful.
[01:06.50]I pray, I pray for a better way.
[01:11.28]If we changed back then,
[01:13.59]we could change again.
[01:16.23]We can be beautiful...
[01:19.00](A PREPPY STUD knocks a HIPSTER DORK to the floor.)
[01:19.14]:HIPSTER DORK [Spoken]:
[01:20.20]Ow!
[01:20.89]VERONICA:
[01:20.94]Just not today.
[01:22.75] Hey, are you okay?
[01:24.02]Get away, nerd.
[01:25.51]Oh...Okay
[01:26.51]Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!
[01:31.32]VERONICA:
[01:31.63]Things will get better
[01:33.15]soon as my letter
[01:34.59]comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown.
[01:37.04]Wake from this coma,
[01:38.35]take my diploma,
[01:39.69]then I can blow this town.
[01:41.57]Dream of my ivy-covered walls
[01:43.76]and smoky French cafes...
[01:45.10](VERONICA jostles RAM SWEENEY.)
[01:45.20]:RAM [Spoken]:
[01:45.40]Watch it!
[01:46.81]VERONICA:
[01:46.90]Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!
[01:52.05](RAM upends VERONICA'S lunch tray.)
[01:52.09]RAM:
[01:52.15]Ooooops.
[01:54.30]Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker.
[01:56.00]And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and BEING A HUGE DICK.
[02:00.08]RAM:
[02:00.13]What did you say to me skank?
[02:01.94]VERONICA:
[02:02.09]... Nothing.
[02:04.03]VERONICA & KIDS:
[02:04.18]But I know, I know, I know...
[02:07.06]Life can be beautiful.
[02:09.36]I pray, I pray, I pray
[02:12.71]For a better way.
[02:14.05]We were kind before;
[02:16.45]we can be kind once more.
[02:19.14]We can be beautiful...
[02:22.08](MARTHA approaches.)
[02:23.04]VERONICA:
[02:23.24]Agh!... Hey Martha.
[02:24.53]MARTHA:
[02:24.60]Hey.
[02:26.17](MARTHA helps VERONICA pick up her tray.)
[02:26.47]VERONICA:
[02:26.57]Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers.
[02:30.02]MARTHA:
[02:30.15]We on for movie night?
[02:31.06]VERONICA:
[02:31.28]Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail.
[02:33.58]MARTHA:
[02:33.65]I rented "The Princess Bride."
[02:36.20]VERONICA:
[02:36.40]Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?
[02:39.87]MARTHA:
[02:40.02]What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.
[02:43.00]KURT:
[02:43.06]Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!
[02:47.01](KURT KELLY knocks the tray from MARTHA'S hands.)
[02:47.76]VERONICA:
[02:47.86]Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team.
[02:52.59]Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.
[02:57.03](Furious, to KURT) Hey! Pick that up right now!
[02:59.03]KURT:
[02:59.14]I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
[03:01.07]VERONICA:
[03:01.21]Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend.
[03:04.57]You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.
[03:09.50]KURT:
[03:09.79]... You have a zit right there...
[03:11.95]VERONICA & KIDS:
[03:12.15](Variously)
[03:14.61]Dear diary: why....
[03:16.50]Why do they hate me?
[03:17.65]Why don't I fight back?
[03:18.85]Why do I act like such a creep? (VERONICA: Why....)
[03:20.95]Why won't he date me?
[03:22.34]Why did I hit him?
[03:23.70]Why do I cry myself to sleep? (VERONICA: Why....)
[03:25.96]Somebody hug me!
[03:27.40]Somebody fix me!
[03:28.61]Somebody save me!
[03:30.03]Send me a sign, God!
[03:31.37]Give me some hope here!
[03:32.51]Something to live for!
[03:38.87](The three HEATHERS enter.)
[03:53.01]KIDS:
[03:53.31]Ah!... Heather, Heather, and Heather!
[04:00.00]VERONICA:
[04:00.15] Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all.
[04:02.80]KIDS:
[04:03.10](Repeating.) I love Heather, Heather, and Heather.
[04:09.73]VERONICA:
[04:09.93]Heather McNamara. Head cheerleader. Her dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings.
[04:17.38]Heather Duke. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.
[04:24.59]And Heather Chandler. The Almighty.
[04:28.59]She is a mythic bitch. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed.
[04:37.23]I would give anything to be like that.
[04:41.32]HIPSTER DORK:
[04:41.42]I'd like to be their boyfriend.
[04:43.00]KIDS:
[04:43.12]That would be beautiful...
[04:45.01]STONER CHICK:
[04:45.22]If I sat at their table, guys would notice me.
[04:48.11]KIDS:
[04:48.16]So beautiful...
[04:50.35]MARTHA:
[04:50.46]I'd like them to be nicer.
[04:52.31]KIDS:
[04:52.52]That would be beautiful...
[04:54.52]BELEAGUERED GEEK:
[04:54.87]I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse
[04:58.06]and leave her tied up for the rats!
[05:00.57](VERONICA enters the girls' bathroom.
[05:02.46]HEATHER CHANDLER and MCNAMARA are watching HEATHER DUKE vomit into a toilet.)
[05:05.02]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[05:05.34]Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
[05:07.94]HEATHER MCNAMARA:
[05:08.08]Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather.
[05:09.49]HEATHER DUKE:
[05:09.53]Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should.
[05:11.58]MS. FLEMING:
[05:11.79]Ah, Heather and Heather.
[05:13.59](HEATHER DUKE vomits.)
[05:15.08]... and Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class.
[05:20.56](VERONICA scribbles on a piece of paper.)
[05:20.81]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[05:20.96]Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her.
[05:24.00]MS. FLEMING:
[05:24.19]Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention.
[05:26.89]VERONICA:
[05:27.04]Actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.
[05:32.87]MS. FLEMING:
[05:32.98]... I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going.
[05:39.52]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[05:39.56]This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
[05:43.01]VERONICA:
[05:43.17]Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon.
[05:46.00]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[05:46.12]What boon?
[05:48.50]VERONICA:
[05:48.64]Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary.
[05:52.52]If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone....
[05:55.07]Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.
[05:59.60]HEATHER DUKE:
[05:59.72]How about prescriptions?
[06:00.71]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[06:00.86]Shut up, Heather.
[06:01.30]HEATHER DUKE:
[06:01.31]Sorry, Heather.
[06:02.66](HEATHER CHANDLER inspects VERONICA'S face.)
[06:02.82]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[06:03.02]For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.
[06:06.80]HEATHER MCNAMARA:
[06:06.96]And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull,
[06:11.30]I'd have matching halves. That's very important.
[06:13.99]HEATHER DUKE:
[06:14.03]Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.
[06:16.87]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[06:16.88]And ya know, ya know, ya know?
[06:19.97]This could be beautiful.
[06:22.21]Mascara, maybe some lip gloss,
[06:24.82]and we're on our way.
[06:26.61]Get this girl some blush;
[06:28.35]And Heather, I need your brush.
[06:30.64]Let's make her beautiful.
[06:32.36]HEATHER MCNAMARA:
[06:32.48]Let's make her beautiful...
[06:34.02]HEATHER DUKE:
[06:34.08] Let's make her beautiful...
[06:35.18]HEATHER CHANDLER:
[06:35.22]Make her beautiful...
[06:38.56]Okay?
[06:38.91]VERONICA:
[06:39.07]Okay!
[06:40.22](Another day, another hellish lunch.)
[06:41.80]KURT:
[06:41.96]Out of my way geek!
[06:43.43]BELEAGUERED GEEK:
[06:43.53]I don't want any trouble -
[06:44.57]RAM:
[06:44.77]You're gonna die at 3pm!
[06:46.53]REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL:
[06:46.74]Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!
[06:49.09]BELEAGUERED GEEK:
[06:49.19]What'd I ever do to them?
[06:51.20]KIDS:
[06:51.32]Who could survive this?
[06:52.72]I can't escape this!
[06:53.91]I think I'm dying!
[06:54.91]MS. FLEMING:
[06:54.99]Who's that with Heather?
[06:56.90](THE HEATHERS enter again...)
[06:57.00]KIDS:
[06:57.15]Whoa. Heather, Heather, Heather...
[07:03.77]NEW WAVE GIRL:
[07:04.07]And... someone!
[07:06.22]KIDS:
[07:06.42]Heather, Heather, Heather...
[07:11.06]GOWAN & COACH:
[07:11.16]And a babe!
[07:12.60]KIDS:
[07:12.65]Heather, Heather, Heather...
[07:16.65]MARTHA:
[07:16.79]Veronica?!
[07:17.80]KIDS:
[07:17.96]Veronica? Veronica? Veronica?!
[07:22.95](THE HEATHER part, revealing a smoking hot VERONICA who has been given a make-over.)
[07:24.04]VERONICA & KIDS:
[07:24.14](Variously.) And ya know,
[07:25.28]ya know, ya know
[07:27.72]life can be beautiful.
[07:29.97]You hope, you dream, you pray,
[07:33.02]and you get your way!
[07:34.96]Ask me how it feels
[07:37.40]looking like hell on wheels...
[07:40.68]My God, it's beautiful!
[07:43.98]I might be beautiful
[07:47.51]And when you're beautiful...
[07:52.24]It's a beautiful frickin' day!
[07:54.09]KIDS:
[07:54.35]Heather... Veronica!
[07:58.08]Heather! Heather!
[08:00.26]Heather... Veronica!
[08:03.10]Veronica! Veronica!
[08:05.30]Veronica! Veronica!