[00:02.14]Yeah!!
[00:05.31]Dad says "Act your age."
[00:07.12]You heard the man, it's time to rage!
[00:09.05]Blast the bass, turn out the light
[00:11.43]Ain't nobody home tonight!
[00:13.09]Drink, smoke, it's all cool.
[00:15.37]Let's get naked in my pool!
[00:17.56]Punch the wall and start a fight!
[00:19.52]Ain't nobody home tonight!
[00:21.66]His folks got a waterbed.
[00:23.50]Come upstairs and rest your head.
[00:25.76]Let's rub each other's backs
[00:27.50]while watching porn on Cinemax!
[00:31.04]CHANDLER, KURT, RAM, KIDS
[00:31.14]The folks are gone,
[00:33.05]it's time for big fun! Big fun!
[00:35.39]We're up till dawn
[00:37.09]having some big fun! Big fun!
[00:39.79]When mom and dad forget
[00:41.68]to lock the liquor cabinet,
[00:43.72]it's big fun! Big fun!
[00:48.80]Okay okay okay, So it's salt, and then lime, and then shot?
[00:53.39]No, salt, then -
[00:54.34]You're doing it wrong!
[00:56.09]What? Really? 'Cause I feel great.
[00:58.75]Veronica, you're looking good tonight!
[01:03.13]Whoa.
[01:04.08]A hot guy smiled at me,
[01:05.59]without a trace of mockery!
[01:08.18]Everyone's high as a kite,
[01:10.12]ain't nobody home tonight!
[01:12.07]Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...
[01:13.93]Hey, is that *****? I want a hit.
[01:16.22]Fill that joint and roll it tight,
[01:18.18]ain't nobody home tonight!
[01:20.32]Dreams are coming true
[01:22.33]when people laugh but not at you!
[01:24.17]I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!
[01:26.31]I feel like Bono at Live Aid!
[01:29.69]The house is ours,
[01:31.71]it's time for big fun!
[01:33.75]Big fun!
[01:34.54]Let's use their showers,
[01:35.90]that sounds like
[01:36.59]Big fun! Big fun!
[01:38.33]Crack open one more case!
[01:40.12](VERONICA observes couple making out)
[01:40.72]I that that's what they call
[01:42.02]"third base."
[01:43.01]Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!
[01:46.05]That actually looks like -
[01:47.00]Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!
[01:50.54](KURT holds up a pig pinata with a sign that says "Jefferson Razorbacks")
[01:51.04]All right, people! Listen up!
[01:52.95]What is Westerberg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday's game?
[01:56.02](RAM mimes sex with the pinata)
[01:56.36]Gonna make 'em go
[01:57.08] Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!
[01:59.00]Big fun! Big fun!
[02:01.09]Way to show maturity!
[02:03.16]Big fun! Big fun!
[02:05.00](RAM grabs HEATHER by the hips and does to her what he's been doing to the pinata)
[02:05.35]Quit it jackass, get off of me!
[02:07.39]Big fun! Big fun!
[02:09.87]Yo! Ram! Emergency!
[02:11.03]I just saw some freshman sneaking over the pool fence!
[02:14.00]I hate freshman! Where are you little *****s? I'm coming for you!...
[02:19.39](to HEATHER DUKE) You okay?
[02:20.03]I didn't need your help.
[02:21.80](HEATHER DUKE gives VERONICA the finger)
[02:22.64]Aw, thanks for the finger, Heather, but I don't need to vomit right now.
[02:27.12]The party's hot, hot, hot.
[02:28.96]It's time for big fun! Big fun!
[02:31.51]You need a jello shot!
[02:33.20]We're having big fun! Big fun!
[02:35.05](MARTHA arrives at the party)
[02:35.74]Martha Dumptruck, in the flesh.
[02:37.79]Here comes the Cootie Squad.
[02:40.02]Shup up, Heather.
[02:40.87]Sorry, Heather.
[02:42.02]Look who's with her -- Oh, my God!
[02:43.28](Points to VERONICA)
[02:43.68]Dang! Dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!
[02:46.23]Dang-dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!
[02:48.77]I can't believe you actually came.
[02:50.97]It's exciting, right?
[02:52.15]Oh, I wanna say hello to Ram. I brought sparkling cider.
[02:56.03]Showing up here took some guts.
[02:58.02]Time to rip them out.
[02:59.52](HEATHER DUKE holds up the pig pinata)
[03:00.01]Well, who's this pig remind you of?
[03:02.11]Especially the snout.
[03:03.70]Hah!
[03:04.11]Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!
[03:06.01]Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!
[03:08.11](THE HEATHERS exit with the pinata, MARTHA approaches RAM)
[03:08.81]Where the hell are those freshman?
[03:10.71]Hi, Ram. I wasn't gonna come,
[03:13.35]but since you took the time to write that sweet note...
[03:15.25](Hands RAM the sparkling cider)
[03:15.78]What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time?
[03:18.67]People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal.
[03:22.79](Chugs and spits the cider)
[03:24.06]There's no alcohol in here!
[03:26.20]Are you trying to poison me?
[03:29.54]Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang (x3)
[03:35.87]Diggety-dang-a-dang!
[03:37.22]The folks are gone,
[03:38.96]it's time for big fun! Big fun!
[03:41.76]We're up till dawn
[03:43.20]having some big fun! Big fun!
[03:45.64]So let the speakers blow,
[03:47.78]they'll buy another stereo.
[03:49.83]Our folks got no clue
[03:51.82]'bout all the *****t their children do.
[03:53.93]Why are they surprised?
[03:55.83]Whenever we're unsupervised,
[03:58.02]it's big fun! Big fun!
[03:59.93]Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Whooo!