(music)
I don't go outside
I just wish I could hide
I can't sleep at night, 
and there's no end inside
to the visions haunting me
(music)
I'm out with the girls dancing at a club
when a guy from behind starts to grind and rub
I don't know you,
but now I know your size
Keep your twig and berries to yourself next time!
The very next day I'm hiking in the woods
when a scary looking dude just flashes his goods
I scream and run away but it doesn't end there...
Later at the beach free willies everywhere
Boner, Erection, woody, Hard on ****,
his bulge is getting bigger, 
his pitching his tent,
Stiffy, erection, the willy that could
I don't want to see the outline of your early morning wood.
Keep it in your pants,
Keep your boner in your pants,
your mother would proudly agree
Just keep it in your pants
Keep your boner in your pants
It's not something girls wanna see
Timberlake keeps his "**** in a box",
Athletes have jock straps on there rocks,
****y in his pants is Sandburg's thing,
but, at least he doesn't go around poking with his ding 
Jay-Z keeps it flowing in jeans
Take that ****t down if you know what I mean
Shakespeare had a **** piece with a lock
to keep all the ladies from seeing his (ohhhh)
I don't go around showing off my lady bits
Cameltoes are not the way to go
I keep it classy like a lady
Never showing what's down shady
You'll never know what's hidden below
I keep it in my pants
Keep my Gouchie in your pants
I know my mama would be proud
I keep it in my pants
keep my Gouchie in my pants
But start by singing aloud...
Keep your boner in your pants,
Keep your boner in your pants,
your mother would proudly agree
keep it in your pants
Keep your boner in your pants
It's not something girls wanna see
Keep it in your pants,
Keep your boner in your pants,
your mother would proudly agree
Just keep it in your pants
Keep your boner in your pants
It's not something I wanna see
(Boner fadeout)