Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
LORD ADALBERT:
When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun
It concentrates the mind completely
And suddenly you'll find
A love for human kind
That makes you look upon the world more sweetly

When all at once it seems your life is done
You recognize it all goes by so fleetly
There's so much left to do
Except, of course, for you
When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun

When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun
(CHORUS: Down the gun)
And the barrel looks right back at you demurely (Demurely)
With an eye that seems to say
Perhaps you ought to pray
So sorry that you're dyin' prematurely

You're grateful that you've had your share of fun
(He's had his fun)
Though you suppose you might have lived your life more purely
It's ludicrous to care
It's neither here nor there
When you're starin' down the barrel of a gun

Oh, Lord, is this really your intention?
Aren't men like me in short supply?
Oh, Lord, I could use your intervention
This cannot be the way I'm meant to die

Do you really want to see me cryin'?

LADY EUGENIA:
Get up at once, you're making a spectacle of yourself!

LORD ADALBERT:
Eugenia. Put down the gun. Please.
I know, I talk about game, bravery and courage,
God save the queen and all that.
But, I-I really don't want to die. I really, really don't!

Don't you know I've loved you like a son? (Like a son)
And I do not mean to say this impolitely (Do... say... politely)
Consider then, the view
I'd rather he'd presume
Looking down the barrel of a gun

Looking down the barrel of a
(Barrel of a)

Uhhhh! (Dies.)

LADY EUGENIA:
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Get up you old goat! Adalbert! Adalbert?
(Gasps.) Adalbert!

MONTY:
What?

CHORUS:
Gun!