[00:03.350] NORMA:Hurry up, the birthday boy is on his way
[00:07.925] This is a surprise celebration
[00:11.862] I hope you've remembered everything I've said
[00:16.028] I want to see a total transformation
[00:20.428] JOE: What's all this?
[00:21.788] NORMA:Happy birthday, darling. Did you think we'd forgotten?
[00:24.701] JOE: Well, I ... I don't know.
[00:26.848] NORMA: These people are from the best men's shop in town.
[00:29.368] I had them close it down for the day.
[00:30.727] JOE: Norma, now listen!
[00:31.423] NORMA: I'll leave you boys to it.
[00:33.654] MANFRED: Happy birthday, welcome to your shopathon!
[00:39.251] JOE: What's going on?
[00:40.574] MANFRED: Help yourself, it's all been taken care of
[00:43.906] Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me
[00:46.854] JOE: Well, golly gee
[00:48.387] MANFRED: Pick out anything you'd like a pair of
[00:52.230] You just point, I'll do the rest
[00:54.367] I've brought nothing but the best
[00:56.492] You're a very lucky writer
[00:58.754] Come along now, get undressed
[01:01.285] Unless I'm much mistaken
[01:03.330] That's a 42-inch chest
[01:05.732] JOE: I don't understand a word you're saying
[01:09.353] MANFRED: Well, all you need to know's the lady's paying
[01:12.233] It's nice to get your just reward this time of year
[01:15.588] JOE: Get outta here!
[01:16.645] MANFRED:And all my merchandise is strictly kosher
[01:19.744] When you've thrown away all your old worn-out stuff
[01:23.413] JOE:Hey, that's enough
[01:24.713] MANFRED: Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure
[01:28.614] I have just the thing for you
[01:30.785] Chalk-stripe suits
[01:31.795] SALESMAN 1: In black
[01:32.632] SALESMAN 2: Or blue
[01:33.385] SALESMAN 3: Glen plaid trousers
[01:34.349] SALESMAN 4: Cashmere sweaters
[01:35.430] SALESMAN 5: Bathing shorts for Malibu
[01:37.596] SALESMAN 6: Here's a patent leather lace-up
[01:39.872] SALESMAN 7: It's a virtuoso shoe
[01:42.275] MANFRED: And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna
[01:46.128] JOE: You know what you can do with your vicuna
[01:49.519] NORMA: Come on Joe, you haven't even started yet
[01:52.618] JOE: You wanna bet?
[01:53.697] NORMA: I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion
[01:56.693] He always takes forever making up his mind
[02:00.396] Don't be unkind
[02:01.732] I thought you writers knew about compassion
[02:05.029] I love flannel on a man
[02:07.896] MANFRED: This will complement his tan
[02:10.090] NORMA: We'll take two of these and four of those
[02:12.749] MANFRED: I'm still your greatest fan!
[02:14.977] Very soon now we'll have stopped him
[02:17.475] Looking like an also-ran
[02:19.183] JOE: You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying
[02:23.142] NORMA: Well, all right, I'll choose, after all, I'm paying!
[02:25.843] MANFRED: Evening clothes?
[02:27.480] NORMA: I want to see your most deluxe
[02:29.361] JOE: Won't wear a tux
[02:30.638] NORMA: Of course not, dear, tuxedos are for waiters
[02:33.782] MANFRED:What we need are tails, a white tie and top hat
[02:37.300] J OE:I can't wear that
[02:38.695] NORMA:Joe, second-rate clothes are for second-raters
[02:41.458] JOE:Norma, please...
[02:42.735] NORMA: Shut up, I'm rich
[02:44.092] Now some platinum blonde bitch
[02:46.403] I own so many apartments
[02:48.341] I've forgotten which is which
[02:50.454] JOE: I don't have to go to premieres
[02:53.032] I'm never on display
[02:55.039] You seem to forget that I'm a writer
[02:59.196] Who cares what you wear when you're a writer?
[03:02.331] NORMA: I care, Joe, and please don't be so mean to me.
[03:05.442] JOE: OK, all right.
[03:07.172] NORMA: You can't come to my New Year's Eve party in that filling-station shirt.
[03:11.653] JOE: I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve.
[03:14.382] NORMA: Where?
[03:15.391] JOE: Artie Green. He's an old friend of mine.
[03:17.214] NORMA: I can't do without you, Joe, I need you.
[03:21.998] I've sent out every single invitation
[03:25.788] JOE: All right, Norma, I give in
[03:28.888] NORMA:Of course you do
[03:30.468] And when they've dressed you
[03:32.104] You'll cause a sensation
[03:35.739] SALESMEN: We equip the chosen few of Movieland
[03:38.861] MANFRED: (The latest cut)
[03:40.186] SALESMEN: We dress every movie star and crooner
[03:43.086] From their shiny toecaps to their hatband
[03:47.244] MANFRED: (Conceal your gut)
[03:48.625] You won't regret selecting the vicuna
[03:52.004] SALESMEN: If you need a hand to shake
[03:54.081] If there's a girl you want to make
[03:56.380] If there's a soul you're out to capture
[03:58.761] Or a heart you want to break
[04:01.105] If you want the world to love you
[04:03.380] MANFRED: You'll have to learn to take
[04:05.446] SALESMEN: And gracefully accept the role you're playing
[04:09.778] MANFRED: You will earn every cent the lady's paying
[04:12.900] SALESMEN: So why not have it all?
[04:20.122] MANFRED: Now that didn't hurt, did it?
[04:22.060] SALESMEN: The lady's paying!