ARTIE: Hey, Gillis! We'd give you up.
 Let me take your coat
 Jesus, Joe, what's this made of? Mink?
 Who did you borrow this from? Adolphe Menjou?
 JOE: Close, but no cigar. Hey! It's quite a crowd
 ARTIE: I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in "Samson and Delilah".
 BETTY: Where have you been hiding? I called your apartment.
 I called your ex-agent. I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons.
 JOE: Well, they always know where to find me.
 RICHARD A: You gotta say your New Year's resolution out loud Jean!
 JEAN: By this time next year
 I'll have landed a juicy part
 STEVE: Nineteen fifty will be my start
 RICHARD T: No more carrying spears
 MARY: I'll be discovered
 My life won't ever be the same
 Billy Wilder will know my name
 And he'll call all the time
 KATHERINE: 'Til he does, can one of you guys lend her a dime?
 ALISA: Just an apartment
 With no roaches and no dry rot
 ANITA: Where the hot water comes out hot
 BOTH: That's my Hollywood dream
 RICHARD A: Your resolution
 JOANNA: Is to write something that gets shot
 With approximately the plot
 I first had in my head
 MYRON: But you'll get rewritten even after you're dead
 RICHARD A: Artie!
 ARTIE: It's the year to begin a new life
 Buy a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty
 When you have a young kid and a wife
 Then you need somewhere green, far from the city
 It's a rambling old house with a big apple tree
 With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me
 SAMMY: Behold, my children
 It is I, Cecil B. DeMille
 Meeting me must be quite a thrill
 ADAM: But there's no need to kneel
 SAMMY: I guarantee you
 Every girl in my chorus line
 Is a genuine Philistine
 SANDY: They don't come off the shelf
 SAMMY: I flew every one in from Philistia myself
 BETTY: I have some good news
 It's "Blind Windows"
 JOE: You don't let go
 BETTY: I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe
 And he swallowed the bait
 JOE: Well, hallelujah!
 BETTY: While you've been buying vicuna coats
 I've been making a lot of notes
 Now there's work we should do...
 JOE: Betty, you're forgetting that I gave it to you
 You remind me of me long ago
 Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition
 Thought I'd waltz into some studio
 And achieve overnight recognition
 I've seen too many optimists sinking like stones
 Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones
 BETTY: I love "Blind Windows"
 But I can't write it on my own
 Can't we speak on the telephone?
 All my evenings are free
 ARTIE: Hey, just a minute
 I'm the fellow who bought the ring
 BETTY: Artie, this is a business thing
 It's important to me
 You'll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee
 Please make this your New Year's resolution for me
 ALL: By this time next year
 I will get my foot in the door
 Next year I know I'm going to score
 An amazing success
 Cut to the moment
 When they open the envelope
 Pass the statuette to Bob Hope
 And it's my name you hear
 We'll be down on our knees
 Outside Grauman's Chinese
 Palm prints there on the street
 Immortality's neat!
 This time next year
 This time next year
 We'll have nothing to fear
 Contracts all signed
 Three-picture deal
 Yellow brick road career
 Hope we're not still saying these things
 This time next year
 JOE: You know, I think I will be available in the New Year.
 In fact, I'm available right now.
 BETTY: Joe, that's great!
 JOE: Hey, Artie, where's your phone?
 ARTIE: Under the bar.
 JOE: Hey, Artie. You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks?
 ARTIE: It just so happens we've got a vacancy on the couch.
 JOE: I'll take it.
 MAX: Yes?
 JOE: Max, it's Mr. Gillis. I want you to do me a favour.
 MAX: I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis. I can't talk right now.
 JOE: Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases...
 MAX: I'm sorry, I am attending to Madame.
 JOE: What do you mean?
 MAX: Madame found the razor in your room. And she's cut her wrists.
 ALL: Three, two, one, Happy New Year!
 Should auld acquiantance be forgot
 And never brought to mind
 Should auld acquiantance be forgot
 And days of auld lang syne
 For auld lang syne, my dear
 For auld lang syne