You're your own worst enemy You're a walking catastrophe You get up every morning On the wrong side of the bed You butter your hand instead of your bread Drink enough coffee to wake up the dead You're doing 85 and the light is turning red The judge took your license and forbid you to drive And your heart is pumping bacon And you're barely alive You're your own worst enemy You're a walking catastrophe You're at war with yourself and nobody else You're a danger, you're a danger You trip on your shoelace and fall on your face Your hair is a mess, your clothes are disgrace Your stocks went south and your girlfriend is gay Your dog ate your cat and that was your good day You're your own worst enemy You're a walking catastrophe You're at war with yourself and nobody else You're a danger You're your own worst enemy You're a walking catastrophe You're at war with yourself and nobody else You're a danger You're a danger to every stranger You're a mess, yes, yes