Now here's a little story to tell
It is a must about an unsung hero
That moves away your dust
Some people make a fortune, others earn a mint
My old man don't earn much
In fact he's flippin' skint
Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat, he wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper nana in his great big hobnail boots
He's got such a job to pull them up
That he calls 'em daisy roots
Some folks give tips at Christmas, and some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up, he spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty and to the council wrote
Next time my old man went 'round there, he punched him up the throat
Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat, he wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Lonnie: I say, I say, Les
Les: Yes?
Lonnie: I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin
Les: Well how do you do know he's a police dog?
Lonnie: He had a policeman with him
Though my old man's a dustman, he's got an 'eart of gold
He got married recently, though he's eighty-six years old
We said "'Ere, hang on, Dad, you're getting past your prime"
He said "Well, when you get to my age, it helps to pass the time."
Oi! My old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat, he wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
_I say, I say, I say!
_Huh
Lonnie: My dustbin's full of lilies
Les: Well throw 'em away then!
Lonnie: I can't. Lily's wearing them
Now one day whilst in a hurry, he missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards when she chased after him
"What game do you think you're playing?" “
She cried right from the 'eart
"You've missed me, am I too late?" “
"No, jump up on the cart!" “
Oi! My old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat, he wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Lonnie: I say, I say, I say!
_Not you again!
Lonnie: My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools
Les: How do you know it's full?
Lonnie: 'Cause there's not mushroom inside
He found a tiger's head one day nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked like miserable
But I suppose he should
Just then from out a window, a voice began to wail
It said "Oi! Where's me tiger's head?"  “
"Four foot from his tail." “
Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat, he wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It might be my old dad