[00:36.100]The first time I saw her
[00:39.400]Everything in my head went quiet.
[00:42.260]All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images
[00:45.480]just disappeared
[00:46.730]
[00:48.280]When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
[00:49.950]You don’t really get quiet moments.
[00:52.160]Even in bed, I’m thinking:
[00:53.670]Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes.
[00:55.030]Did I lock the doors? Yes.Did I wash my hands? Yes.
[00:55.870]But when I saw her,
[00:57.100]the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips
[00:59.830]Or the eyelash on her cheek
[01:01.710]The eyelash on her cheek
[01:02.520]The eyelash on her cheek.
[01:03.990]
[01:05.270]I knew I had to talk to her.
[01:08.030]I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.
[01:11.420]She said yes after the 3rd one,
[01:12.980]But none of them felt right,
[01:14.000]So I had to keep going.
[01:15.370]
[01:15.580]On our first date
[01:16.540]I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it
[01:20.500]or talking to her
[01:21.530]
[01:22.060]But she loved it
[01:24.070]
[01:24.320]She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or
[01:26.360]twenty-four times if it was Wednesday
[01:28.080]She loved that it took me forever to walk home
[01:30.200]Because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk
[01:33.020]
[01:33.540]When we moved in together, she said she felt safe
[01:35.600]like no one would ever rob us because
[01:37.320]I definitely locked the door eighteen times
[01:40.170]
[01:41.300]She close her eyes
[01:42.260]And imagine days and nights what passing infact.
[01:45.080]
[02:55.610]When she said she loved me
[02:56.760]Her mouth was a straight line.
[02:58.250]
[02:58.550]She told me that I was taking up too much of her time.
[03:01.190]
[03:01.650]Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place.
[03:04.180]She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her
[03:07.010]that this whole thing was a mistake
[03:09.000]
[03:09.370]But how can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands
[03:11.390]after I touched her?
[03:12.900]
[03:13.200]Love is not a mistake
[03:15.190]
[03:15.450]It’s killing me
[03:16.500]that she can run away from this and I just can’t.
[03:19.430]
[03:19.580]I can’tgo out and find someone new because I always think of her.
[03:23.140]Usually, when I obsess over things
[03:25.340]I see germs sneaking into my skin.
[03:27.770]
[03:28.050]I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars.
[03:31.050]And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on
[03:34.990]
[03:35.170]I want to wake up every morning
[03:37.010]Thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel
[03:38.980]How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe
[03:41.900]How she blows out candles
[03:42.920]Blows out candles
[03:43.760]Blows out candles
[03:44.390]Blows out candles
[03:45.170]Blows out candles
[03:45.990]Blows out the candles.blows out…
[03:48.180]
[03:49.390]Now, I just think about who else is kissing her.
[03:52.420]I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once
[03:54.730]He doesn’t care if it’s perfect!
[03:56.370]
[03:56.600]I want her back, So Bad!
[03:59.500]
[04:00.490]I leave the door unlocked.
[04:01.640]
[04:03.510]I leave the lights on.
[04:04.250]
[04:50.560]Change,right
[04:51.400]
[04:51.960]When I be imagined to change two things
[04:54.420]Listen and speak up