[00:04.54]SHAKESPEARE:
[00:05.61]My days are so busy it's making me dizzy
[00:07.54]There's so much I gotta do
[00:09.79]There's lunches and meetings and poetry readings
[00:12.04]And endless interviews
[00:14.15]Gotta pose for a portrait
[00:15.38]And how I deplore sitting there for eternity
[00:18.44]Then it's off to the inn
[00:19.59]Where my innkeeper friend
[00:20.53]Wants to name a drink after me
[00:22.85]Then it's back to my room, where I resume
[00:25.07]My attempt to write a hit
[00:27.14]Just me and my beer and the terrible fear
[00:29.41]That I might be losing it
[00:31.63]And it's hard
[00:32.20]It's hard
[00:32.73]It's hard
[00:33.35]It's hard
[00:33.88]SHAKESPEARE & MANSERVANTS:
[00:34.19]It's really, really hard
[00:35.94]So very very hard
[00:37.87]SHAKESPEARE:
[00:38.13]I make it look easy but honey believe me
[00:40.28]It's hard
[00:40.59]It's hard
[00:41.43]It's hard
[00:42.03]It's hard
[00:42.52]It's so
[00:42.91]SHAKESPEARE & MANSERVANTS:
[00:43.18]Incredibly hard
[00:44.69]So inconceivably, unbelievably hard
[00:49.73]SHAKESPEARE:
[00:50.49]It's hard to be the bard
[00:53.42][spoken] Honestly, I don't know how I do it. There's only so much of me to go around
[01:00.02]I've got so many fans
[01:01.10]With so many demands
[01:02.11]I can hardly go take a piss
[01:03.63]MANSERVANTS:
[01:03.89]He can't pee
[01:04.41]SHAKESPEARE:
[01:05.01]Be it theater-freak or
[01:05.56]The autograph-seeker
[01:06.50]They all want a piece of this
[01:08.07]MANSERVANTS:
[01:08.36]Gimme, Gimme
[01:08.88]SHAKESPEARE:
[01:09.17]It's a cross that I bear
[01:09.90]I'm like Jesus, I swear
[01:11.00]It's a burden but I suffer through it
[01:12.25]MANSERVANTS:
[01:12.59]He is suffering
[01:13.50]SHAKESPEARE:
[01:13.74]It's all part of the game
[01:14.37]The trappings of fame
[01:15.49]But somebody's gotta do it
[01:16.56]MANSERVANTS:
[01:16.93]So he does it
[01:17.50]SHAKESPEARE:
[01:17.71]And I know, I know, I gotta go
[01:19.56]And get back to my pen and ink
[01:21.89]Oh don't make me do it
[01:22.96]Don't make me go through it
[01:24.06]Can somebody get me a drink?
[01:26.15]Cause it's hard
[01:26.80]It's hard
[01:27.32]It's hard
[01:27.79]It's hard
[01:28.31]It's really really hard
[01:30.48]It's sexy but it's hard
[01:32.73]This bar that I'm
[01:33.59]Raising to be this amazing!
[01:34.77]It's hard
[01:35.32]It's hard
[01:35.92]It's hard
[01:36.49]It's hard
[01:37.07]It's so
[01:37.41]SHAKESPEARE & MANSERVANTS:
[01:37.64]Annoyingly hard
[01:39.26]So unavoidably, un-enjoyably hard
[01:44.54]SHAKESPEARE:
[01:45.01]It's hard to be the bard, baby
[01:48.35][spoken] Ugh. I know writing made me famous, but being famous is just so much more fun. You see...
[01:54.88]What people just don't understand
[01:56.14]Is that writing's demanding
[01:57.28]It's mentally challenging and it's a bore
[01:59.77]It's such a chore
[02:00.71]To sit in a room by yourself
[02:02.27]Oh my god, I just hate it!
[02:03.42]And you're trying to find
[02:05.07]An opening line or a brilliant idea
[02:07.03]And you're pacing the floor
[02:08.36]And hoping for just a bit of divine intervention
[02:11.76]That one little nugget that one little spark
[02:14.16]Then Eureka! You find it you're ready to start
[02:16.35]So now you can write, right? Wrong!
[02:18.71]You're not even close, you remember that damn it
[02:20.72]Your play's gotta be in iambic pentameter!
[02:24.01]So you write down a word but it's not the right word
[02:26.10]So you try a new word but you hate the new word
[02:28.19]And you need a good word but you can't find the word
[02:30.64]Oh where is it, what is it, what is it, where is it!
[02:32.63]Blah-blah-blah, ha ha, ah-ha -UGHHHHHHHH!
[02:35.71]VALET:
[02:35.97]Sir
[02:36.76]SHAKESPEARE:
[02:37.07]Hello
[02:37.88]VALET:
[02:38.11]You asked for information on what Nicholas Bottom is writing. Our spy is here with the news
[02:42.40]SHAKESPEARE:
[02:42.95]Did he see me losing it?
[02:44.64]VALET:
[02:44.96]He's half blind, sir
[02:45.87]SHAKESPEARE:
[02:46.19]Oh, good. Then he only saw half of it. You see what I did? Ha ha
[02:49.09]VALET:
[02:49.43]Oh, yes, yes, yes, wonderful
[02:50.78]SHAKESPEARE
[02:51.20]Speak, man. What news?
[02:52.35]EYEPATCH MAN:
[02:52.59]I saw Nick Bottom, I did. He paid a soothsayer to foresee what Shakespeare's greatest play would be
[02:58.05]SHAKESPEARE:
[02:58.70]That sneaky little thief! Why doesn't he come up with his own ideas!?
[03:03.17]It's hard
[03:03.79]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:04.24]No. It is, isn't it?
[03:06.64]It's really the worst
[03:07.40]It's hard
[03:08.23]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:08.52]Makes me wonder why I didn't think of that first
[03:11.63]It's hard
[03:12.41]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:12.73]Hard to alleviate the pressure to create
[03:15.94]It's hard
[03:16.57]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:16.93]Hard to do something as good as the last thing I did that was already great
[03:20.56]It's hard
[03:21.01]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:21.27]It's hard
[03:21.74]So hard that he is stealing from the bard
[03:24.32]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:24.69]Well I'll hoist him by his petard
[03:26.96]All that I need is a clever disguise
[03:28.66]Clever disguise
[03:29.11]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:29.63]I'll make him pay for his devious lies
[03:30.86]Devious lies
[03:31.43]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:31.74]Let him do all the tedious stuff
[03:33.34]The work that's terribly and unbearably hard
[03:38.20][spoken] All right, Nick Bottom. I think Shakespeare needs to find out what Shakespeare's next big hit will be!
[03:44.15]Cause it's hard
[03:44.70]It's hard
[03:45.25]It's totally hard
[03:46.16]SHAKESPEARE & MANSERVANTS:
[03:46.48]It's hard
[03:47.03]It's hard
[03:47.57]It's totally hard
[03:48.28]SHAKESPEARE & MANSERVANTS:
[03:48.80]It's hard
[03:49.30]It's hard
[03:49.95]It's totally hard
[03:50.76]SHAKESPEARE:
[03:50.79]I've got fortune and fame
[03:51.83]Everyone knows my name
[03:52.67]I can't help it it's still freaking hard