[00:15.67]Well it's prom night, I'm all alone and man I feel so lame
[00:22.56]Across the gym, stands the girl of my dreams
[00:25.07]but she doesn't even know my name
[00:29.37]As I stare my heart skips a beat
[00:32.45]she leaves me breathless I can't pretend
[00:36.26]I know that I can't offer her much
[00:38.72]but I sure beat her douche bag boyfriend
[00:43.10]You may never want me
[00:45.73]But love for you is true
[00:49.80]So everywhere I go girl
[00:52.74]I'll be touching myself to you
[00:57.47]Oh...I will masturbate to you in the shower
[01:01.52]In the cafeteria during lunch hour
[01:05.00]Gonna play with myself in my Parents' car...to you
[01:11.13]Oooh, I will masturbate to you on the beach
[01:15.31]In the dentists chair while he's cleaning my teeth
[01:18.91]I'll never see you again after tonight
[01:25.71]But I will masturbate to you for life
[01:36.56]Don't dare you stare and judge me on how I express my love
[01:43.18]You can write poetry
[01:46.08]me I will rub and tug
[01:50.33]I'll never hold you
[01:52.83]Lay with you in the sand
[01:56.70]Go live your life girl
[01:59.60]Cause I'll being making love to my hand
[02:04.24]Oh, I will masturbate to you like a fiend
[02:08.30]On Martin Luther King Day and duing Halloween
[02:11.92]Stroking every single night of Hanukah...to you
[02:17.95]Oh, I will masturbate to you over seas
[02:22.05]On the Eiffel tower and while meeting the Queen
[02:25.65]Honey go with him
[02:27.94]I'll be alright
[02:32.33]Cause I will masturbate to you for life
[02:39.70]Life is so lonely without you
[02:45.97]There's only so much jerking one guy can do
[02:52.83]But why this devotion
[02:55.99]I've wasted all my lotion
[02:59.64]Baby I was blind but now I can see
[03:11.12]Oh, I will masturbate as you grow old with me
[03:15.37]Every single birthday and anniversary
[03:18.80]In the delivery room as our first child is born
[03:24.91]I will masturbate to you and you alone
[03:28.97]Playing with our grandkids in our nursing home
[03:32.39]You're the one that I need I must have missed it somehow
[03:39.29]So I will masturbate
[03:42.75]And I will masturbate
[03:45.69]So will masturbate
[03:49.85]To you
[03:54.19]right now