[00:01.98]Okay children quiet down, quiet down
[00:05.12]Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
[00:09.53]His name is Mr. Shady
[00:11.87]Children quiet down please
[00:14.36]Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!）Brian
[00:15.54]Mr. Shady will be your new substituteShady
[00:20.39]Good luck Mr. ShadyShady
[00:22.25]Hi there little boys and girls （FUCK YOU!）
[00:23.70]Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
[00:26.48]But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?）
[00:28.64]Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
[00:32.03]and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
[00:33.87]but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
[00:37.50]And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spotBob
[00:39.49]and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
[00:42.14]when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
[00:45.28]Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!）
[00:47.59]And even if they escaped and they got the cops
[00:50.16]the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
[00:53.11]'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
[00:55.22]when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
[00:58.22]But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
[01:00.78]But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
[01:03.23]Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
[01:05.70]You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
[01:08.72]He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her
[01:11.29]and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
[01:13.96]But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
[01:16.65]they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
[01:19.20]And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
[01:21.69]and what it might do to you
[01:23.46]So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
[01:25.44]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[01:27.41]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[01:30.34]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[01:32.59]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[01:35.10]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[01:38.13]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[01:40.62]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[01:43.17]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[01:45.92]My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
[01:48.66]FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?）
[01:51.42]Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
[01:54.67]Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
[01:56.37]If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
[01:58.72]Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
[02:01.68]and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
[02:04.18]So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
[02:06.53]Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
[02:09.07]After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
[02:12.03]and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
[02:14.62]and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
[02:17.65]Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
[02:20.89]and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}
[02:22.65]His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
[02:25.60]He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}他在Donald的地毯上，
[02:27.39]And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
[02:30.18]"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
[02:32.62]cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
[02:35.36]So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
[02:38.03]Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
[02:40.30]and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
[02:43.56]And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
[02:45.85]So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[02:49.57]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[02:51.79]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[02:53.91]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[02:56.20]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[02:59.08]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[03:01.93]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[03:04.53]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[03:07.56]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[03:09.61]And last but not least, one of the most humungous
[03:13.19]problems among young people today, is fungus
[03:15.43]It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
[03:17.90]bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
[03:20.57]Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
[03:23.15]And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
[03:26.47]And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?）
[03:28.79]Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
[03:31.11]（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire（Mr. Shady
[03:33.70]Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?）
[03:37.02]And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
[03:39.68]Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?
[03:42.05]I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?）
[03:45.97]cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!）
[03:47.95]See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
[03:49.45]But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!）
[03:52.50]But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
[03:55.11]They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
[03:57.65]and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
[04:00.39]So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
[04:02.53]cause I'm bad for you
[04:04.10]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[04:06.23]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[04:08.86]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[04:11.14]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[04:14.14]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[04:16.86]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[04:19.82]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[04:22.17]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[04:25.40]Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!）
[04:27.31]Sing along children （Suck my motherfuckin dick!）
[04:29.64]Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!）
[04:31.73]So don't do drugs （Suck my motherfuckin penis!）
[04:34.11]so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!）
[04:50.74]（So, fucked up, right now..）