Yo.. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *)
Mic check.. (My ************!)
Testing.. one, two (* Eminem hach-spits on mic *)
Ffff-*******.. (My ************!) My nuts..
My attitude is worse than NWA's was
I'll battle you over stupid ************t and diss people
who ain't have ************t to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,
"Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!)
I look at my life in a new light -- ******* it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- ******* what you like
You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+
************t, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
(* zipper sound *) "Come on, let's go!"
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
and make em come to your ba*******t and listen
(you're gonna ******* check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
and put yours on the owner's table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before'
"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
givin you ************t ************ - don't even bother askin me (get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin
cause I'm always ************ttin when I'm rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!)
Got a ******* from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
my ******* broke both of her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this ************t was all about me-ah ("It's all about me..")
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea ("You're a ************!")
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me ******* Aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- ******* your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!")
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
So if I hurt your self-esteem
and you get dissed too bad (Yo why you diss me?)
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha ************t you wished you had (A big ************!)
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"I can't listen to that song, that ************t's too sad!"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!" (Nurse! Nurse!)
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play
Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
in your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *)
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache
You talk a lotta ************t, but you was never ill though
I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!)
Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half
Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+
And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!)
The demon is here, steamin this year
I rip (*Mystikal's*) voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!)
It's not a gimmick ************, it's an image I live it
Give a *******? I don't know what a ******* is to give it
"Yeah I don't think this guy is well.." I'm high as hell
I'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tail
(* impersonating Method Man *)
I'll *******, I'll *******
Lay your nuts on the dresser
Just your ******* by itself
And bang them ************ts with a spiked bat
Cut your neck off and sew your head right back
And leave you like that
You just triggered the ******* who just mixed liquor
Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topher
Reeves, I was teething with strep throat
while your mother was breastfeeding
And gave her the flesh-eating disease
I'm iller than takin a hammer and beatin your knees
and walkin through South Central L.A., bleedin in jeans
(Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin up the next day in breathin machines
Fla************n back to being shot and repeatin the scenes
on how you just got smoked, and if you do live
You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac joke
So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a fat ************ that you wished you had
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"I can't listen to that song, that ************t's too sad"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad"
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (uh-huh)
That's right, Slim Shady (yup) Sway & Tech
Sprayin wreck (************)
And we don't give a heck (uh-uh)
or a damn.. or a *******.. or a ************t
So suck my mother******* ************