[00:00.00]Yo, yo!
[00:02.06]Mic check(my dick!)
[00:03.26]Testing, one, two ff-fuck
[00:06.00](My dick!) My nuts
[00:08.90]My attitude is worse than NWA's was
[00:11.38]I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people
[00:13.84]Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
[00:16.19]You see me standin' outside of your buildin' screamin'
[00:18.80]"Puffy is good, (hey!) but Slim Shady is for the children!" (wait!)
[00:21.23]I look at my life in a new light, fuck it
[00:23.66]Give me two mics; I write songs for me, fuck what you like
[00:26.40]You're probably hear me rap half-hearted
[00:28.52]Cause I don't like rap anyway
[00:29.46]I'm just tryin’ to get my porno career started
[00:31.79]Every place and event, "Been there, done that"
[00:34.66]Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went "Come on, let's go!"
[00:37.14]Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
[00:39.10]Lesson one, throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
[00:42.44]Lesson two face 'em and diss 'em (what up dog?)
[00:44.12]Don't give em a demo, kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
[00:46.15]And make em come to your basement and listen(you're gonna fuckin' check this out)
[00:47.72]Lesson three, get a job at a label, switch demos with Canibus
[00:50.36]And put yours on the owner's table (here listen!)
[00:52.61]Lesson four, know you heard this before
[00:54.46]"Hey let me get your number, I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
[00:57.54]Don't act like a fan, you want to get signed?
[00:59.53]Get the Withest A&R you can find
[01:00.96]Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
[01:03.32]Lesson Five, get a hook-up at Jive
[01:05.14]Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
[01:08.04]And that's the key, but when you see me on the street
[01:10.97]I ain't givin' you shit bitch, don't even bother askin' me (get away from me)
[01:13.14]Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin'
[01:16.64]'Cause I'm always shittin' when I'm rappin' like Master P
[01:18.99]Got a blow job from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
[01:22.18]My balls broke both of her collarbones (Ow!)
[01:24.27]Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah ("It's all about me..")
[01:26.54]Gave Alyssa Milano syphilis, mono and gonorrhea ("You're a dick!")
[01:29.46]And all three of my main girls said see-ya
[01:31.61]'Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin' Aaliyah
[01:34.32](What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin' a bath
[01:36.52]Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
[01:39.31]White trash, fuckin' your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!")
[01:41.69]While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
[01:44.64]So if I hurt your self-esteem
[01:45.92]And you get dissed too bad (Yo why you diss me?)
[01:47.38]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[01:49.71]And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had (A big dick!)
[01:52.63]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[01:54.72]"I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad!"
[01:57.34]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[02:00.05]"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!" (Nurse! Nurse!)
[02:02.72]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[02:05.85]What a wonderful day, I should go outside and play
[02:08.49]Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
[02:11.47]Hi Reneé! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
[02:14.32]In your driveway (what?) and drive away
[02:16.30]Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
[02:18.68]Blood drippin' from it, rippin' your stomach like a paper maché
[02:21.40]You talk a lot of shit, but you was never ill though
[02:24.01]I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
[02:26.49]Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh
[02:28.92]Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half
[02:31.90]Wagin' wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with 'Agent Orange'
[02:34.82]And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!)
[02:37.72]The demon is here, steamin' this year
[02:39.66]I rip (Mystikal's) voice box out, scream in his ear
[02:42.24]It's not a gimmick bitch, it's an image I live it
[02:44.75]Give a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give it
[02:47.67]"Yeah I don't think this guy is well" I'm high as hell
[02:49.66]I'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tail
[02:53.06]I'll fuckin', I'll fuckin'
[02:55.09]Lay your nuts on the dresser
[02:57.37]Just your nut-sack by itself
[02:58.36]And bang them shits with a spiked bat
[03:00.06]Cut your neck off and sew your head right back
[03:02.20]And leave you like that
[03:03.58]You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor
[03:05.75]Who's itchin' to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chri-stiffer
[03:08.49]Reeves, I was teething with strep throat
[03:10.69]While your mother was breastfeeding
[03:12.02]And gave her the flesh-eating disease
[03:13.77]I'm iller than takin' a hammer and beatin' your knees
[03:16.23]And walkin' through South Central L.A., bleedin' in jeans
[03:19.02](Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin' up the next day in breathin' machines
[03:21.48]Flashin' back to being shot and repeatin' the scenes
[03:24.14]On how you just got smoked, and if you do live
[03:26.57]You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac joke
[03:29.03]So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad
[03:31.59]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[03:33.94]And when I rap about a fat bitch that you wished you had
[03:36.84]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[03:39.27]"I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad"
[03:42.04]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[03:44.52]"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad"
[03:47.05]You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad
[03:50.87]I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (uh-huh)
[03:55.52]That's right, Slim Shady (yup) Sway & Tech
[03:59.90]Sprayin' wreck (bitch)
[04:02.86]And we don't give a heck (uh-uh)
[04:05.02]Or a damn, or a fuck, or a shit
[04:08.58]So suck my motherfuckin' dick