[00:07.3]Greetings
[00:14.2]My name's yours
[00:16.50]What's Alaska
[00:29.5]Everybody welcome to the show
[00:34.3]The rules of engagement are really quite simple
[00:37.1]So if you can pull yourself away from grindr for two seconds
[00:40.22]Listen up
[00:41.43]The use of flash photography is strictly mandatory
[00:46.10]Do you think I look like this just so I can exist in your feeble memory
[00:50.96]Take a picture and I'll last forever
[00:54.68]Get your drinks now people
[00:56.58]The more you drink the prettier we look
[01:00.89]Is this your boyfriend honey
[01:04.11]Not anymore
[01:06.67]Tipping is compulsory
[01:09.1]If you don't know what compulsory means
[01:11.23]I'll spell it out for you "Tip These Men"
[01:15.72]It takes a lot of money to look this cheap darling
[01:19.28]Be kind to your entertainers
[01:23.44]If you see a flaw squint
[01:25.91]If you see a bulge don't be mad
[01:28.16]Some of the most beautiful women in the world have gigantic penises
[01:32.29]If you see something you don't like
[01:34.32]Something unseemly or offensive
[01:36.44]Something vile or disgusting
[01:38.71]We'll be happy to take your complaints after the show
[01:41.40]At the corner of f**k you and go f**k yourself avenuecom I'll see you there
[01:47.5]Bring a sweater
[01:49.34]If you think you can do better sweetheart I implore you
[01:52.77]Put on a wig and mash your mouth around to other people's music for four and a half minutes
[01:57.73]It's not as easy as it looks
[01:59.40]Do you need a hairpiece
[02:01.2]Here you can borrow mine
[02:03.40]Show generosity to these monstrosities
[02:06.79]Respect kindness compassion
[02:11.21]And most of all whenever possible
[02:15.49]Tell us we look gorgeous
[02:19.33]Tell us we look gorgeous
[02:23.2]Tell me I look gorgeous
[02:27.4]Do I look gorgeous
[02:29.37]Yeah
[02:30.17]Okay but how about sexy
[02:32.18]Yeah
[02:34.4]Okay alright but how about sensual
[02:36.60]Yeah
[02:37.98]Alright but how about breathtaking geez
[02:41.22]Yeah
[02:41.90]I swear it's like pulling teeth to get a little tiny compliment out of you people
[02:46.16]Now let's review everybody
[02:49.25]Your makeup is terrible
[02:51.91]If you're not wearing nails you're not doing drag
[02:54.18]Don't ever touch my hair
[02:55.64]Anus
[02:56.56]I love your pussy
[02:57.52]Give me all your money
[02:58.70]Absolutely
[03:00.58]Come on nature come on come on buildup okay
[03:08.16]Hieeee
[03:14.73]Hieeee
[03:22.20]Hieeee
[03:28.19]Everybody everywhere
[03:30.01]Everybody everywhere
[03:31.18]Hieeee
[03:34.83]Hieeee
[03:36.13]Hieeee
[03:36.68]Hieeee
[03:37.57]Hieeee
[03:38.14]Hieeee