作词 : Dury, Nugent
ARSEHOLES, BASTARDS, FUCKING CUNTS AND PRICKS
 Aerosol, the bricks
 A lawless brat from a council flat - oh, oh
 A little bit of this and a little bit of that - oh, oh
 Dirty tricks
 
 From the Mile End Road
 To the Matchstick Beacontree
 Pulling strokes and taking liberties
 She liked it best when she went up west - oh, oh
 You can go to hell with your "well, well, well" - oh, oh
 
 Who said good things always come in threes?
 Reds and yellows purples blues and greens
 She turned the corner before she turned fifteen
 She got into a mess on the NHS - oh, oh
 It runs down your arms and settles in your palms - oh, oh
 
 Keep your eyeballs white and keep your needle clean
 Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
 Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
 
 Her tits had dropped, her arse was getting spread
 She lost some teeth, she nearly lost the thread
 And then she did some smack with a Chinese chap - oh, oh, oh
 An affair began with Charlie Chan - oh, oh
 
 Well that was just before she really lost her head
 Now she owns a showroom down the Mile End Road
 And her outer garments are the latest mode
 
 And there's a Siamese cat in the council flat - oh, oh
 The finest grains for my lady's veins - oh, oh
 
 And when it gets out of order, she goes away for a bit
 Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
 Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia
 Plaistow Patricia, Plaistow Patricia - oh
 Go on, girl