Dum diti dum dang dang di dum2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum1 bum said look jack 
I'm the *************t
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own *************
My mothers crazy 
I think she sniffs glue
She never liked me and 
I know that's true
Kicked me out the crib be'cause 
I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares
And all I ever get is funny stares
I can't help it if 
I'm nothin but a wino
So I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin' bottles of booze outta a & p
I know a girl at denny's and 
I always eat free
Got the same birthdate as thomas crapper
For chris**as 
I bought the old man the clapper
I'm so dapper u can call me dan
But they call me round eye when 
I'm chilin in japan
Got a bad ass ************* adn she ain't no dike
But ************* that ho and let me tell ya what 
I likeI like bean burritos from taco bell
I like trippin on acid with ************* vitale
My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't cla*************n'
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fa*************on
Took too many many trip and now 
I can's stop trippin
My mellow d. killed a rat in the kitchen
U think u toke tuff 
I'd disagree
Nobody blows more doobs than richard d.
I get ill on hoes who 
I know ain't fertile
I'm a real jet setter like cecil turtle
I'm down with bill bands so ************* joe glover
And while 
I'm at it muther ************* fat ass sally struthers
U look fine girl kinda undercover
But I can't ************* ya 'cause you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
It ain't eric estrada or kool and the gang
U know I hand in the clem chillin on the strip
With all them mother ******s who slang that *************t
U know I'm a pimp hold my ************* like a holster
U sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me
But ************* it 'cause 
I know "somebody up there likes me."
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'