作词 : Momus What is the cultural meaning of coming in an old sock Have I found my true vocation: bespoke tailor to my cock Or is it just to dress my deepest naked fantasies in wool That eco-friendly outfit that’s machine rewashable Or is it crude association, if the shoe fits wear it? Well you know what they say about big feet Or is it Onan The Barbarian saying ‘No soft tissue paper can hold me I’m the wolf dressed as the shepherd leading a fleeced flock of tumescent sheep To masturbation’ Alone on the stage But even one-act plays need rehearsal So look to the lights Pump, soliloquise And when crystallised Apply Persil