Do you long to cavort? Here's a new water sport That you ought to try It's a Fahrenheit dream Hot and covered with steam You won't be bored Do you want to get wet? Are you starting to sweat? Slip over the side Now we're caught in a swell Here's where Heaven and Hell Start to collide It's slippery and slimy Reach over here and tie me I'm so warm I can hardly move Mother never told me I'd need someone to hold me But where I'm from the rivers are all cold It's a fisherman's dream Dinner's already steamed And ready to eat When you feel your resolve Is about to dissolve Then stop for a treat In a river of steam Nothing seems too obscene So let down your hair While you drift through a trough Slip your bathing suit off And really get clean You can do your laundry While your thoughts are wandering And you watch the passing swimmer's poach You don't need no Sterno In Dante's Inferno It's thermohydriatically controlled You can't stay in too long 'Cause the heat is too strong You're starting to slide Grab ahold of the rope Throw your soap in the boat Climb over the side We can come back for more When we start to get bored There's nothing as wild As a Hot River swim On the volcanic rim