Here's a shocking revelation for you voyeurs Such a heinous deviation, these are no clues I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist Just the thought of ironing gives me spasms of lust I creep up to old wrecked cars and lick off the rust I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist Mother used to try to metal in my affairs Keep your nose up off that grindstone, people Will stare Get the lead out of your pants and change your Underwear I've been stealing baby bottles since I was born I'll go blind from balling bearings, doctors have Warned I like making out with steel-rimmed glasses More than horned Erik Satie gets my rocks off, Cage is a dream Phillip Glass is a Mineralist to the extreme I like tickling ivories and fingering stones When my mercury goes up I play with my bone Peole take for granite my perversion is wrong I'm not harming anyone by beating my gong I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist I'll make love to minerals as long as I can And in fifty years I'll be a jaded old man I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist