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My First Day (Explicit) - Haystak |
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Sometimes I write about something |
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That like something I went through |
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Or something my people went through |
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And I felt like they needed some motivational sh*t |
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And it usually ends up going something like this |
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My first day without you in my life |
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Things felt strange a bit deranged |
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Even so I hope you're doin okay |
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Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) |
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Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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My systems caught in conniption stomach in knots |
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Feedin for my medicine overcoming addiction |
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The first step is quittin nah the first steps admittin |
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I got a problem I need help |
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This is something I can't beat myself |
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I almost felt like I can't be cured |
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Rehab won't take me cuz I ain't insured |
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Layin in the bath tub shakin like a new born |
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Searchin for the courage it'll take for me to move on |
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I've been livin life like this way too long |
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Beggin God please bring me home |
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I stopped before three or four days |
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Always end up back in the same place |
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People call me a junkie d**e fiend |
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How they gonna judge me |
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They don't even know me |
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Lights off wanna be left alone |
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I'm tryin to enjoy the methodone |
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Put a Jimi Hendrix record on |
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And excuse me while I kiss the sky |
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Dosed off woke up sick to my stomach |
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Ran to the bathroom |
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Started to vomit the methodone wore |
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Off and the withdrawal started |
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That first day was the hardest |
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My first day without you in my life |
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Things felt strange a bit deranged |
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Even so I hope you're doin okay |
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Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) |
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Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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Stayed strong endured the rough weather |
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I ain't fully recovered but I'm doin much better |
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I can keep my food down to shakes and calms |
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They lowerin the doses of methodone |
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I eat V's and blow lots of dro |
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It's like chewin gum when |
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You're tryin not to smoke |
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Keep my mind occupied calm my nerves |
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It's not the same high deep inside I |
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Just want one more but I |
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Can't turn back this week for it |
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But I done made it almost a month |
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With just a couple of V's and I blew some blunts |
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But that w**d and gonna make me OD |
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That other sh*t was gonna kill me |
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Six weeks and everything seem so clear |
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Before I knew it time flew and I was clean for a year |
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Can't believe something started off socially |
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Something I almost allowed to take over me |
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Days went by and it was sixteen months |
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And I swear to God I didn't fall off once |
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I feel like a brand new guy and |
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I'm definetly livin a brand new life |
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Some days I still resist the thirst |
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But none's worst than the first believe |
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That |
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My first day without you in my life |
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Things felt strange a bit deranged |
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Even so I hope you're doin okay |
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Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) |
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Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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Two years and I ain't touched it |
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Got a lot done I been so productive |
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Rebuilt I was so constructive |
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Can't believe I was so self destructive |
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Got a good job and I make big bucks |
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Went to the lot and got a new pick up |
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Got a brand new crib and a brand new kid |
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I think anybody can quit if I did |
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If you wanna quit get up and go get the sh*t |
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Walk straight to the toilet drop it |
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Flush it f**k it fight it |
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Just resist it and if this helps then just keep listenin |
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When you start slippin I'll send you another one |
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Sonny wasup we just saved another one |
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I know it's so hard like there's no God |
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But through him you're able to go so far |
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Hey I don't wanna sound corny |
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I'm just like you either hungry or horny |
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Seems as though we get hooked so easily |
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Quitting becomes an impossibility |
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I ain't sayin treat your body like a church |
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Just don't let d**e put your body in a hearse |
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The streets inside you you just gotta search |
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And know that no day be harder than the first |
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My first day without you in my life |
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Things felt strange a bit deranged |
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Even so I hope you're doin okay |
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Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) |
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Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) |
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Yo all my people goin through they thing |
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Whatever they thing may be |
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Just know God got his hands on you |
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And he'll grant you the serenity |
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To change the things you can't |
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And you can change that aight |
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Hold me down and I'ma hold you down one |