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There was a thick-set man with frog-eyes was standing at the door |
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And a little bald man with wing-nut ears was waiting in the car |
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Well, Robert Moore passed the frog-eyed man as he walked into the bar |
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And Betty Coltrane, she jumped under her table... |
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"What's your pleasure?" asked the barman, he had a face like boiled meat; |
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"There's a girl called Betty Coltrane that I have come to see." |
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But I ain't seen that girl round here for more than a week" |
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And Betty Coltrane she hid beneath the table... |
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Well, then in came a sailor with mermaids tattooed on his arms, |
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Followed by the man with the wing-nut ears, who was waiting in the car; |
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Well, Robert Moore sensed trouble, he'd seen it coming from afar |
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And Betty Coltrane she gasped beneath the table... |
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Well, the sailor said, "I'm looking for my wife! They call her Betty Coltrane." |
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And the frog-eyed man said, "That can't be! That's my wife's maiden name!" |
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And the man with the wing-nut ears said, "Hey, I married her back in Spain!" |
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And Betty Coltrane crossed herself beneath the table... |
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Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said, "That woman is my wife." |
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And he drew a silver pistol and a wicked Bowie knife |
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And he shot the man with the wing-nut ears straight between the eyes |
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And Betty Coltrane she moaned under the table... |
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Well, the frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore who stabbed him in the chest; |
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As Mr. Frog-eyes died, he said, "Betty, you're the girl that I loved best" |
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Then the sailor pulled a razor and Robert Moore blasted him to bits |
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And, "Betty, I know you're under the table!" |
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"Well, have no fear" said Robert Moore "I do not want to hurt you! |
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Never a woman did I love near half as much as you; |
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You are the blessed sun to me, girl, and you are the sacred moon." |
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And Betty shot his legs out from under the table... |
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Well, Robert Moore went down heavy with a crash upon the floor |
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And over to his trashing body Betty Coltrane she did crawl; |
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She put the gun to the back of his head and pulled the trigger once more |
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And blew his brains out all over the table... |
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Well, Betty stood up and shook her head and waved the smoke away; |
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Said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Barman, to leave your place this way." |
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As she emptied out their wallets, she said, "I'll collect my severance pay..." |
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Then she winked and threw a dollar on the table. |
