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(feat. Eminem) |
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Yo.. yo! (Eminem hachs up spit) |
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Mic check.. (My dick!) |
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Testing.. one, two (Eminem hach-spits on mic) |
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Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!) My nuts.. |
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My attitude is worse than NWA's was |
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I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people |
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Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!) |
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You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin, |
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"Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!) |
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I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it |
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Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like |
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You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway |
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I'm just tryin to get my porno career started |
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Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+ |
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Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went |
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(* zipper sound *) "Come on, let's go!" |
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Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters |
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Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers |
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Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?) |
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Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me) |
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And make em come to your basement and listen |
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(you're gonna fuckin check this out) |
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Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus |
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And put yours on the owner's table (here listen!) |
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Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before' |
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"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!" |
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Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed? |
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Get the whitest A&R you can find |
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Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can |
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Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive |
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Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live |
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And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't |
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Givin you shit bitch - don't even bother askin me (get away from me) |
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Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin |
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Cause I'm always shittin when I'm rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!) |
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Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth |
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My balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!) |
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Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah ("It's all about me..") |
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Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea ("You're a dick!") |
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And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA |
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Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin Aaliyah |
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(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath |
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Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh |
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White trash - fuckin your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!") |
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While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass |
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So if I hurt your self-esteem |
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And you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?] |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had [A big dick!] |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad!" |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!" [Nurse! Nurse!] |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play |
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Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate |
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Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade |
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In your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (car peels out) |
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Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS |
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Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache |
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You talk a lotta shit, but you was never ill though |
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I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow |
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Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!) |
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Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half |
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Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+ |
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And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!) |
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The demon is here, steamin this year |
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I rip [Mystikal's] voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!) |
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It's not a gimmick bitch, it's an image I live it |
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Give a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give it |
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"Yeah I don't think this guy is well.." I'm high as hell |
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I'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tail |
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[impersonating Method Man] |
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I'll fuckin, I'll fuckin |
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Lay your nuts on the dresser |
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Just your nutsack by itself |
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And bang them shits with a spiked bat |
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Cut your neck off and sew your head right back |
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And leave you like that |
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You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor |
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Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topher |
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Reeves, I was teething with strep throat |
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While your mother was breastfeeding |
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And gave her the flesh-eating disease |
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I'm iller than takin a hammer and beatin your knees |
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And walkin through South Central L.A., bleedin in jeans |
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(Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin up the next day in breathin machines |
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Flashin back to being shot and repeatin the scenes |
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On how you just got smoked, and if you do live |
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You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac joke |
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So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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And when I rap about a fat bitch that you wished you had |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad" |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad" |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (uh-huh) |
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That's right, Slim Shady (yup) Sway & Tech |
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Sprayin wreck (bitch) |
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And we don't give a heck (uh-uh) |
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Or a damn.. or a fuck.. or a shit |
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So suck my motherfuckin dick |
