[00:00.19] | 第二十一号男孩 |
[00:03.21] | 游泳,是第二十一号男生教我的。 |
[00:06.34] | 在他家的游泳池里面,他开始教。 |
[00:09.21] | “来,放松,假装自己死掉了,像尸体那样浮在水里。” |
[00:13.48] | 他教我。 |
[00:14.94] | 我照做了,脸朝下、泡在水里面。 |
[00:18.78] | 我的眼睛闭着,可是耳朵却闭不起来, |
[00:22.97] | 我听到水底的声音,很安静。 |
[00:26.76] | “张开眼睛。”他说。 |
[00:29.71] | 我张开眼睛, |
[00:31.30] | 看到蓝蓝的水,蓝蓝的游泳池底。 |
[00:34.76] | 我那时候从来没有在水里面看过东西,觉得很奇特。 |
[00:39.45] | 二十一号男生游泳到我身边, |
[00:43.13] | 我从水里面看到他的身体,还有他所引起的波纹, |
[00:46.73] | 还有他在游泳池底的影子。 |
[00:49.71] | 他潜水到我的下方,在水里面笑嘻嘻的对我挥挥手。 |
[00:54.03] | 他的头发像海草那样蔓延开来。 |
[00:58.38] | 我被水流慢慢移动着, |
[01:00.82] | 我享受着死掉了的宁静, |
[01:04.02] | 有一下下我动了念头, |
[01:06.39] | 想要想象一下自己是怎么死的, |
[01:09.53] | 可是这个念头马上就消失了—— |
[01:11.77] | “反正已经死掉了,怎么死的有什么关系呢。” |
[01:16.07] | 我喜欢现在这种死掉的宁静, |
[01:19.00] | 我不要再乱想事情, |
[01:21.37] | 我不要破坏现在这个宁静。 |
[01:23.96] | 一直到我憋不住气了, |
[01:26.98] | 我才把头抬起来, |
[01:29.17] | 可是我的脚一时踩不到游泳池底, |
[01:31.68] | 他过来把我扶住, |
[01:34.14] | 笑嘻嘻的对我说: |
[01:35.92] | “你看,就算不会游泳,也没有很可怕啊。 |
[01:39.17] | 水不会把你怎么样的。 |
[01:41.02] | 你活着或者你死掉, |
[01:43.20] | 你挣扎或者你不挣扎, |
[01:45.38] | 水都是一样的。” |
[01:47.83] | 他教会了我游泳, |
[01:50.32] | 还有一些别的事情。 |
[01:52.13] | 可是他不知道他还教会我一件很重要的事, |
[01:56.62] | 他教会我“假装死掉”。 |
[02:01.02] | 后来我每次游泳的时候, |
[02:03.14] | 都会假装死掉一下子, |
[02:05.50] | 然后呢就得到了我这个年龄的人 |
[02:09.00] | 本来并不会了解的宁静。 |
[02:12.12] |
[00:00.19] | di er shi yi hao nan hai |
[00:03.21] | you yong, shi di er shi yi hao nan sheng jiao wo de. |
[00:06.34] | zai ta jia de you yong chi li mian, ta kai shi jiao. |
[00:09.21] | " lai, fang song, jia zhuang zi ji si diao le, xiang shi ti na yang fu zai shui li." |
[00:13.48] | ta jiao wo. |
[00:14.94] | wo zhao zuo le, lian chao xia pao zai shui li mian. |
[00:18.78] | wo de yan jing bi zhe, ke shi er duo que bi bu qi lai, |
[00:22.97] | wo ting dao shui di de sheng yin, hen an jing. |
[00:26.76] | " zhang kai yan jing." ta shuo. |
[00:29.71] | wo zhang kai yan jing, |
[00:31.30] | kan dao lan lan de shui, lan lan de you yong chi di. |
[00:34.76] | wo na shi hou cong lai mei you zai shui li mian kan guo dong xi, jue de hen qi te. |
[00:39.45] | er shi yi hao nan sheng you yong dao wo shen bian, |
[00:43.13] | wo cong shui li mian kan dao ta de shen ti, hai you ta suo yin qi de bo wen, |
[00:46.73] | hai you ta zai you yong chi di de ying zi. |
[00:49.71] | ta qian shui dao wo de xia fang, zai shui li mian xiao xi xi de dui wo hui hui shou. |
[00:54.03] | ta de tou fa xiang hai cao na yang man yan kai lai. |
[00:58.38] | wo bei shui liu man man yi dong zhe, |
[01:00.82] | wo xiang shou zhe si diao le de ning jing, |
[01:04.02] | you yi xia xia wo dong le nian tou, |
[01:06.39] | xiang yao xiang xiang yi xia zi ji shi zen me si de, |
[01:09.53] | ke shi zhe ge nian tou ma shang jiu xiao shi le |
[01:11.77] | " fan zheng yi jing si diao le, zen me si de you shen me guan xi ne." |
[01:16.07] | wo xi huan xian zai zhe zhong si diao de ning jing, |
[01:19.00] | wo bu yao zai luan xiang shi qing, |
[01:21.37] | wo bu yao po huai xian zai zhe ge ning jing. |
[01:23.96] | yi zhi dao wo bie bu zhu qi le, |
[01:26.98] | wo cai ba tou tai qi lai, |
[01:29.17] | ke shi wo de jiao yi shi cai bu dao you yong chi di, |
[01:31.68] | ta guo lai ba wo fu zhu, |
[01:34.14] | xiao xi xi de dui wo shuo: |
[01:35.92] | " ni kan, jiu suan bu hui you yong, ye mei you hen ke pa a. |
[01:39.17] | shui bu hui ba ni zen me yang de. |
[01:41.02] | ni huo zhe huo zhe ni si diao, |
[01:43.20] | ni zheng zha huo zhe ni bu zheng zha, |
[01:45.38] | shui dou shi yi yang de." |
[01:47.83] | ta jiao hui le wo you yong, |
[01:50.32] | hai you yi xie bie de shi qing. |
[01:52.13] | ke shi ta bu zhi dao ta hai jiao hui wo yi jian hen zhong yao de shi, |
[01:56.62] | ta jiao hui wo" jia zhuang si diao". |
[02:01.02] | hou lai wo mei ci you yong de shi hou, |
[02:03.14] | dou hui jia zhuang si diao yi xia zi, |
[02:05.50] | ran hou ne jiu de dao le wo zhe ge nian ling de ren |
[02:09.00] | ben lai bing bu hui liao jie de ning jing. |
[02:12.12] |
[00:00.19] | dì èr shí yī hào nán hái |
[00:03.21] | yóu yǒng, shì dì èr shí yī hào nán shēng jiào wǒ de. |
[00:06.34] | zài tā jiā de yóu yǒng chí lǐ miàn, tā kāi shǐ jiào. |
[00:09.21] | " lái, fàng sōng, jiǎ zhuāng zì jǐ sǐ diào le, xiàng shī tǐ nà yàng fú zài shuǐ lǐ." |
[00:13.48] | tā jiào wǒ. |
[00:14.94] | wǒ zhào zuò le, liǎn cháo xià pào zài shuǐ lǐ miàn. |
[00:18.78] | wǒ de yǎn jīng bì zhe, kě shì ěr duǒ què bì bù qǐ lái, |
[00:22.97] | wǒ tīng dào shuǐ dǐ de shēng yīn, hěn ān jìng. |
[00:26.76] | " zhāng kāi yǎn jīng." tā shuō. |
[00:29.71] | wǒ zhāng kāi yǎn jīng, |
[00:31.30] | kàn dào lán lán de shuǐ, lán lán de yóu yǒng chí dǐ. |
[00:34.76] | wǒ nà shí hou cóng lái méi yǒu zài shuǐ lǐ miàn kàn guò dōng xī, jué de hěn qí tè. |
[00:39.45] | èr shí yī hào nán shēng yóu yǒng dào wǒ shēn biān, |
[00:43.13] | wǒ cóng shuǐ lǐ miàn kàn dào tā de shēn tǐ, hái yǒu tā suǒ yǐn qǐ de bō wén, |
[00:46.73] | hái yǒu tā zài yóu yǒng chí dǐ de yǐng zi. |
[00:49.71] | tā qián shuǐ dào wǒ de xià fāng, zài shuǐ lǐ miàn xiào xī xī de duì wǒ huī huī shǒu. |
[00:54.03] | tā de tóu fà xiàng hǎi cǎo nà yàng màn yán kāi lái. |
[00:58.38] | wǒ bèi shuǐ liú màn màn yí dòng zhe, |
[01:00.82] | wǒ xiǎng shòu zhe sǐ diào le de níng jìng, |
[01:04.02] | yǒu yī xià xià wǒ dòng le niàn tou, |
[01:06.39] | xiǎng yào xiǎng xiàng yī xià zì jǐ shì zěn me sǐ de, |
[01:09.53] | kě shì zhè gè niàn tou mǎ shàng jiù xiāo shī le |
[01:11.77] | " fǎn zhèng yǐ jīng sǐ diào le, zěn me sǐ de yǒu shén me guān xì ne." |
[01:16.07] | wǒ xǐ huān xiàn zài zhè zhǒng sǐ diào de níng jìng, |
[01:19.00] | wǒ bú yào zài luàn xiǎng shì qíng, |
[01:21.37] | wǒ bú yào pò huài xiàn zài zhè gè níng jìng. |
[01:23.96] | yī zhí dào wǒ biē bú zhù qì le, |
[01:26.98] | wǒ cái bǎ tóu tái qǐ lái, |
[01:29.17] | kě shì wǒ de jiǎo yī shí cǎi bú dào yóu yǒng chí dǐ, |
[01:31.68] | tā guò lái bǎ wǒ fú zhù, |
[01:34.14] | xiào xī xī de duì wǒ shuō: |
[01:35.92] | " nǐ kàn, jiù suàn bú huì yóu yǒng, yě méi yǒu hěn kě pà a. |
[01:39.17] | shuǐ bú huì bǎ nǐ zěn me yàng de. |
[01:41.02] | nǐ huó zhe huò zhě nǐ sǐ diào, |
[01:43.20] | nǐ zhēng zhá huò zhě nǐ bù zhēng zhá, |
[01:45.38] | shuǐ dōu shì yí yàng de." |
[01:47.83] | tā jiào huì le wǒ yóu yǒng, |
[01:50.32] | hái yǒu yī xiē bié de shì qíng. |
[01:52.13] | kě shì tā bù zhī dào tā hái jiào huì wǒ yī jiàn hěn zhòng yào de shì, |
[01:56.62] | tā jiào huì wǒ" jiǎ zhuāng sǐ diào". |
[02:01.02] | hòu lái wǒ měi cì yóu yǒng de shí hòu, |
[02:03.14] | dōu huì jiǎ zhuāng sǐ diào yī xià zǐ, |
[02:05.50] | rán hòu ne jiù dé dào le wǒ zhè gè nián líng de rén |
[02:09.00] | běn lái bìng bú huì liǎo jiě de níng jìng. |
[02:12.12] |