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Swimming through floods of tears, |
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rays of anguish pounding me. |
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My will to live diminishes with each wave of affliction |
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that breaks my weakened existence. |
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It bothers me to know that I have been here before. |
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I assured myself that I'd never return to this solitary site, |
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believing I was rescued once and for all. |
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I thought it was a lesson I could learn, |
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but somehow I'm back here, |
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at the reunion of repressed memories, |
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caught in the vicious circle of self-oppression, |
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anxiety, fear, and uncontrollable thoughts. |
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The cold water numbs my limbs; I'm losing focus again, |
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trying desperately to remember the details of my last rescue, |
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clinging to the hope of finding the safe rocks again. |
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The light from the lighthouse flickers once more, |
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and dies as the demons of death are closing in. |
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Overrating my capacities, denying the weakness of my flesh, |
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I tried too hard and fell, slipped down the slippery cold rocks, |
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and now I'm back into the relentless sea. |
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Lies are caging me; |
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hatred, bitterness, and self pity. |
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Why this injustice? |
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Or am I too blind to see the outcome of my actions? |
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I hate me for not trusting You. |
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I hate that I let them get to me. |
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Why do I have to be here at all? |
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You are my Lord regardless of my feelings; |
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rescue my again; |
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pull me up, and let me dry. |
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Place my feet on the rock, and let me see the |
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sunshine once more. |
