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The life I lived was coated in darkness, |
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the presence only consisting of shadows. |
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Actions of severe disparagement, |
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my focus was always in the past. |
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Hatred and wrath close to my heart, |
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what's been done to me is irreversible. |
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Revenge is no elucidation |
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how I have tried to repress, |
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built walls to close out, |
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but it's repeatedly in my dreams. |
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I spread your wickedness. |
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I hurt the ones I love. |
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I can't keep it all down. |
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You are the cause of my anxiety. |
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You owe me my hatred. |
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You crushed the child, killed the innocence. |
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I have no worth. |
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Wish my wrath could strike you, |
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but instead it only hurts those I love. |
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Despite the years, I am still enslaved. |
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Regardless of the energy, I still remember, |
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the moment will always haunt me. |
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What is holding me back? |
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What sops me from caring? |
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What is the source of my destruction? |
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A tranquil image of a wounded child, |
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the grieving touch of God, |
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displays my life in enslavement |
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of hatred and bitterness. |
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Only Your love conveys the might. |
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Revealing truth about myself. |
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It's not the past events that bind me, |
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but the wounds are open to infection, |
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binds my thoughts to the past, |
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commit my heart to hatred. |
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I have neither managed to break the chains, |
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nor been able to defeat my enemy |
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but You show me something else; |
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the path of forgiveness. |
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Trusting You deliver me, |
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daring to believe it's Your will. |
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Accepting your cleansing blood, |
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allowing You to break the chains. |
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The spirits roar in my face striving to cage me, |
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knowing I will lose if I battle alone. |
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Through You I can forgive myself, |
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although I hate my past. |
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I can slowly start to love myself |
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and stop hurting those who care. |