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Do you find your daughter's friends attractive, |
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but know they look at you as just a dad? |
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Does the typing pool at work think of you more as |
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a teddy bear than a tiger? |
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Do you whack off in your minivan |
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while listening to teen pop? |
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You know, you'll be dead soon. |
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You've missed out on so much. |
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It's not too late to make a change. |
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At the Midlife Crisis Center, |
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we know you've made a success of yourself. |
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Why are you sharing it with others? |
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Why not enjoy it while you have the chance? |
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What's holding you back? |
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Cowardice. We'll get you to |
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the other side of your despair. |
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We specialize in real estate, divorce attorneys, |
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mistress placement, plastic surgery, |
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hair coloring and replacement, |
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male fur coats, and much more. |
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With a designer clothing store and |
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sports car dealership on site. |
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The Midlife Crisis Center will |
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help you rediscover life while you still can. |
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Come with your wife, leave with a sports car. |
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While you've made a success of yourself, |
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her chest has gone south. |
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How can you have that trollop on your arm |
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for a second longer? |
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The answer is, you can't. |
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Ignore your children. Take yourself seriously. |
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Visit the Midlife Crisis Center today. |
