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It's a typical day in the universe |
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Another MC spits a puny verse |
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I try to get through my day without sayin a curse |
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Because I curse too much and such and such |
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I try to improve my vocabulary |
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I try to cut out eatin meat and dairy |
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I wanna bring back the days of the tooth fairy |
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Cause I lost my innocence |
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I'm young and dumb and old and wise at the same time |
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Cause I know Jesus was a rock star |
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And it was Elvis who turned water into wine |
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I wanna save a kangaroo from a life in a zoo |
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I wanna own a llama, I want less drama in my life |
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I think I really wanna be a happy housewife |
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I got 28 butts in the ashtray |
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I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin like a chimney |
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Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied |
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I know you wouldn't put it past me |
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I really know how to party, reminisce about the day |
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When I was swiggin my Bacardi |
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28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me |
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Keepin myself company |
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I think back all the days I was smokin carawhack |
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It was really kinda like an addiction, non fiction |
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Just readin my days and nights away |
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I used to pray to a funny little fat man |
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Til I found out he was Santa Clause |
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Cause Saint Nick never brought shit |
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And there I go cursin again |
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I'm my only friend and I'm definitely my very worst enemy |
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It kinda triggers a memory, let's bring it back to 83 |
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When I ate a watermelon, swallowed the seeds |
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Suddenly there was a watermelon growin in my tummy |
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I skipped a jump rope, every time I jumped up |
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I heard a rattle that sounded like a tambourine |
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I got 28 butts in the ashtray |
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I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin like a chimney |
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Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied |
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I know you wouldn't put it past me |
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I really know how to party, reminisce about the day |
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When I was swiggin my Bacardi |
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28 butts in the ashtray cause it's just me |
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Keepin myself company |
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Hey mama, are you proud of me? |
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I applied for a job at MickeyD's |
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I gotta do somethin with my life |
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Because my idle time is eatin me |
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Like I'm a super sized french fry |
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Drenched in ketchup, fryin over patch up |
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But I know I taste better than that |
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Like they used to taste before they outlawed trans fat |
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I got 28 butts in the ashtray |
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I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin like a chimney |
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Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied |
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I know you wouldn't put it past me |
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I really know how to party, reminisce about the day |
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When I was swiggin my Bacardi |
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28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me |
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Keepin myself company |
