|
In a magical land, in a magical town |
|
Santa and his magic elves are hanging around |
|
Building magical toys for boys and girls |
|
To deliver to the world and bring Christmas joy |
|
The reindeer and snug in their snow-covered stable |
|
While Santa puts turkey on the dinner table |
|
But a mile away, huddled in the snow |
|
Gary sits scared as the arctic winds blow |
|
Alone, on his own, forgotten and lost |
|
Surviving on roots and the permafrost |
|
Dreams of joining Santa's team filled Gary's head |
|
And he'd walk by the stable when they had all gone to bed |
|
He'd tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh |
|
Cutting Gary's self-esteem painfully in half |
|
He was Rudolph's half-brother, unplanned, unwanted |
|
By his father's indiscretions he would be forever haunted |
|
[CHORUS] |
|
Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Was of unexpected birth |
|
But one year he saved Christmas |
|
And he proved to them his worth |
|
All of the other reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Used to laugh and make him cry |
|
They never let poor Gary (Gary) |
|
Fly with them up in the sky |
|
In a big dark castle on the other side of town |
|
Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown |
|
With a bat on his shoulder, decked in a black cape |
|
He devised a new plan to make America shake |
|
He said, "I'll destroy Christmas, here's what I'll do: |
|
I'll kidnap poor Rudolph, it's 9/11 part two |
|
The West will quake when their holiday is gone |
|
Then I'll rule the world, like my name was Exxon" |
|
He snuck into the stable, so he could steal |
|
Rudolph and he left in his Jihad Mobile |
|
Santa found out the news and he said "Oh, dear, |
|
Rudolph's gone, there will be no Christmas this year!" |
|
The elves began to cry and the sky turned gray |
|
But Gary heard the sobs walking by that day |
|
He shared Rudolph's DNA and had something to say |
|
He said "I can guide your sleigh and make everything okay." |
|
Santa said, "Who are you?" |
|
Gary said, "I'm Rudolph's half brother, |
|
You can tell 'cause my nose is green, instead of red!" |
|
Santa said, "Whatever, just put on this harness." |
|
[CHORUS] |
|
So then one happy Christmas Eve |
|
Santa came to say, say (say) |
|
"Gary, with your nose so green |
|
Won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?" |
|
Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him) |
|
And they shouted out "hurray!" (hurray) |
|
Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Thanks for saving Christmas Day |
|
And the toys were delivered across the world |
|
Bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl |
|
Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go |
|
And the brothers reunited in the north pole snow |
|
Rudolph said, "Hey Gary, I'm sorry we laughed |
|
And left you forgotten, like president Taft |
|
We know it made you cry, we're sorry we were mean |
|
We'd like you to join our reindeer team" |
|
And that is how Christmas got its colors |
|
From the red and green noses of the reindeer brothers |
|
you may see them flying high on Christmas Eve |
|
Bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve |
|
And Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise |
|
Playstation 2s and Green Day CDs |
|
But nada for Osama as they say in Espanol |
|
No GameCubes in his stocking, now Santa brings him coal |
|
[CHORUS] |
|
Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Was of unexpected birth |
|
But one year he saved Christmas |
|
And he proved to them his worth |
|
All of the other reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Used to laugh and make him cry |
|
They never let poor Gary (Gary) |
|
Fly with them up in the sky |
|
So then one happy Christmas Eve |
|
Santa came to say, say (say) |
|
"Gary, with your nose so green |
|
Won't you guide my Christmas sleigh?" |
|
Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him) |
|
And they shouted out "Hurray!" (hurray) |
|
Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer) |
|
Thanks for saving Christmas Day |
