| [00:04.87] |
Album:Straight Outta Lynwood |
| [00:07.78] |
Jillian was her name |
| [00:10.58] |
She was sweeter than aspartame |
| [00:14.08] |
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA |
| [00:17.87] |
And after that I never was the same |
| [00:21.95] |
And I loved her even more |
| [00:25.31] |
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle |
| [00:28.49] |
She was gorgeous, she was charming |
| [00:32.01] |
Yeah, she was perfect in every way |
| [00:36.14] |
Except she was always using the word "infer" |
| [00:40.02] |
When she obviously meant "imply" |
| [00:43.94] |
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing |
| [00:47.40] |
But frankly, I can't imagine why |
| [00:50.67] |
And I told her, I said |
| [00:51.87] |
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey? |
| [00:55.18] |
No, I don't think we are! |
| [00:58.02] |
You're close! (Close!) |
| [01:00.34] |
But no cigar!" |
| [01:03.76] |
Yankovic-Close But No Cigar |
| [01:07.00] |
Then I met sweet young Janet |
| [01:09.43] |
Prettiest thing on the planet |
| [01:13.12] |
Had a body hotter than a habanjero |
| [01:17.49] |
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate |
| [01:20.82] |
And I was crazy like Manson about her |
| [01:23.97] |
She got me all choked up like Momma Cass |
| [01:28.35] |
She had a smile so incredibly radiant |
| [01:31.44] |
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass |
| [01:35.62] |
I thought after all these years of searching around |
| [01:39.40] |
I'd found my soulmate finally |
| [01:42.55] |
But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy |
| [01:46.99] |
Of Joe Dirt on DVD |
| [01:49.81] |
Oh, no! I said |
| [01:50.96] |
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo? |
| [01:54.89] |
No I don't think we are! |
| [01:57.32] |
You're close! (Close!) |
| [01:59.75] |
Oh, so very close! (Close!) |
| [02:03.92] |
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!) |
| [02:07.01] |
So close! |
| [02:08.94] |
But no cigar!" |
| [02:15.99] |
(Oh, yeah!) |
| [02:19.63] |
(Oh, no!) |
| [02:22.30] |
(Oh, yeah!) |
| [02:25.09] |
(Oh, no!) |
| [02:26.71] |
(ALL RIGHT!) |
| [02:30.69][Hand claps, trumpet solo] |
|
| [02:35.66] |
Julie played water polo |
| [02:37.97] |
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo |
| [02:42.16] |
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near |
| [02:46.00] |
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo |
| [02:49.91] |
And she was everything I've dreamed of |
| [02:53.42] |
She moved right up to #1 on my list |
| [02:56.96] |
And did I mention she's a world famous billionare |
| [03:00.65] |
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist |
| [03:04.34] |
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron |
| [03:07.94] |
Look like a big fat slobbering pig |
| [03:11.57] |
The only caveat is one of her earlobes |
| [03:15.66] |
Was just a little tiny bit too big |
| [03:18.72] |
I said |
| [03:19.89] |
"Hey! Are we doing government work here? |
| [03:23.31] |
No I don't think we are! |
| [03:25.89] |
You're close! (Close!) |
| [03:28.35] |
So very, very close! (Close!) |
| [03:32.25] |
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!) |
| [03:36.07] |
So close! |
| [03:37.21] |
But no cigar!" |
| [03:39.76] |
Missed it by that much! (No cigar!) |
| [03:42.22] |
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!) |
| [03:45.89] |
Really, really, really close! (No cigar!) |
