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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain |
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I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain |
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But that's just perfect for an Amish like me |
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You know, I shun fancy things like electricity |
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At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows |
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Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool! |
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And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that |
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Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone |
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I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline |
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Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin |
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But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine |
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Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 |
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We been spending most our lives |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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I've churned butter once or twice |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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It's hard work and sacrifice |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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We sell quilts at discount price |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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A local boy kicked me in the butt last week |
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I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek |
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I really don't care, in fact I wish him well |
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'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell |
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But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it |
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An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of |
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I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat |
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And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool! |
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If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears |
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We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years |
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But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare |
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We're just technologically impaired |
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There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar |
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Not a single luxury |
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Like Robinson Crusoe |
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It's as primitive as can be |
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We've been spending most our lives |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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We're just plain and simple guys |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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There's no time for sin and vice |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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We don't fight, we all play nice |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter |
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Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another |
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Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? |
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Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art |
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I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like |
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On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife |
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So don't be vain and don't be whiny |
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Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie |
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We been spending most our lives |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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We're all crazy Mennonites |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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There's no cops or traffic lights |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
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But you'd probably think it bites |
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Living in an Amish paradise |
