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I went to a Catholic school for four years, and I also owned a GarageBand, uh, for 20 minutes, and this is the product of that. Hit it |
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|
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All the seats at the Sunday masses |
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Filled with the masses' massive asses |
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Classes pass as fast as molasses |
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Ceremonial reading glasses |
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Read a little bit of Leviticus |
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All the kids are a little too little for this |
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All the parents nod in agreement |
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"I think I can vaguely see what He meant." |
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It's too early in the morning, glory |
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To read another allegory story |
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The father reads a little bit farther |
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Assuring the assured that they need not bother |
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"When God, in verse 45 |
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Said that slaves are okay to buy |
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He meant that people all from the start |
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Each have 'slaves' within their hearts: |
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Things that we have sold or bought |
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That are forced to pick our moral cotton |
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God calls us to set these free |
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Free our hearts from slavery |
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And then as God goes on to explain |
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The logistics of buying and selling slaves |
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Uh...he...the bible's sorta like...uhhh...there's like...typos" |
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In the back, I sit and I nod |
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To the beats that are bumping from my iPod |
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My God, they're starting to pray |
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And over the music I can hear them say |
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"Dear God, dear Lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword |
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Dear good, all-seeing being |
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'My way or the highway' Yahweh |
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The blue-balled anti-masturbator |
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The great all-loving f****t-hater |
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I'd like to thank your holy might |
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For making me both rich and white |
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And though this is your day of rest |
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I come to you with one request: |
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There's so much pain beyond this steeple |
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Wars and drugs and homeless people |
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Sadness where there should be joy |
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Hate and rape and Soulja Boy |
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A world in darkness needs your light |
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So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight |
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But my dog just had surgery |
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If you could fix that first? |
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JESUS!" |
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Debra Messing's finger's in a holy place |
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Hail Mary full of Grace |
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Obama could you pass some hope to the Pope |
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I know a couple dudes who wanna elope |
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See the church said nope so the bros can't cope |
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The bros can grope but the bros can't cope |
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They've been in love and they've been addicted |
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Who said they shouldn't? Benedict did |
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Cause in the holy land of the Lord |
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He's the holy landlord |
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And ***** are evicted |
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Cause you can be a Benedict |
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If you've been a **** under Benedict |
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But you can't have Benedicts |
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Because there's only one pope |
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With only one **** |
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What? yeah, a **** on a pope is |
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Just like a soap on a rope |
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Cause it's pointless, unless in prison |
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Throw up your bibles, Christ has risen |
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Hallelujah, now it's raining men |
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Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10 |
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Winos at the Eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation |
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Jesus wasn't the Messiah |
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Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire |
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It was Oedipus those holy nights |
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The holy ************* Christ |
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I'm a blasphemah |
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Post-Katrina |
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Cruising the marina |
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On a crusade to cruise aids |
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And blast FEMA |
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You're too late, we're ****** we don't need ya |
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Amen, in the name of the father, son and holy ghost |
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Head, shoulders, knees and toes |
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Turn up your nose, strike that pose |
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HEY MACARENA! |
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