|
We got a little serious there. |
|
I think "fisting" should be called "upper-cunting", |
|
And we're back. |
|
Do you guys like impressions?(Yeah.)"Why?" |
|
That was Socrates. |
|
Older traditional stand-up comics sometimes have problems with me |
|
Because they think |
|
I use music and other stuff |
|
And they think |
|
I'm a gimmick, |
|
I'm a hack, you know, |
|
I'm a gimmick comic |
|
And they're such comedy purists, they don't think my comedy can stand on it's own. |
|
But the truth is, |
|
I'm a comedy purist, too. |
|
So I can do comedy without gimmicks. |
|
I'll show you that right now. |
|
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? |
|
Names!For those listening on the |
|
CD, I just gave birth to a dove. |
|
I love traditional stand-up comedy, don't get me wrong. |
|
I love it. |
|
I'm a huge fan of traditional stand-up comics. |
|
A lot of them are my heroes. |
|
And I want to be a traditional stand-up comic |
|
And I've been working on some traditional stand-up material and |
|
It's in its infancy so, please, bare with me, go easy |
|
But this is a bit of my traditional stand-up. |
|
My wife, right. |
|
We never have sex. |
|
Like, ever. |
|
Which is really funny. |
|
Something else, |
|
I never know what she's saying. |
|
She'll say something and |
|
I'll be like, "pft." |
|
You know, she's constantly emasculating me |
|
And I'm making her resent herself for getting older, |
|
So we're looking into a divorce. |
|
And, you know, something else that's really funny: |
|
She can't drive. |
|
The only thing she can drive is"Drive me crazy," and when she back talks, |
|
I hit her. |
