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Get three coffins ready. |
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Huh? Ah! |
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Covered wagon, medicine show |
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Take you to a place where the healing flows, oh-ho |
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Weak in spirit, we got the juice |
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Won't save your soul, it'll shine your shoes, oh |
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Treated king to kangaroo |
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Santa Fe to Timbuktu, oh-ho |
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Don't be fooled by imitation |
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This is the stuff that cured a nation |
|
We took the tube and the high plains, too |
|
Never stopped long, just passing through |
|
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France |
|
Makes a hopeless cripple dance, oh |
|
It was really vile weather |
|
When we got tarred and feathered |
|
You could hear the six-guns sound |
|
As they chased us out of town |
|
Whoa-ho |
|
In India, we're all the rave |
|
Discovered that it's great as aftershave, oh-ho |
|
Dropped in the sea just off Japan |
|
Swapped twenty bottles for an aqua-walkman, oh |
|
Immunity from ridicule |
|
Improves your brains if you're a fool, oh-ho |
|
And I read in the Middle East |
|
Traded some for a hostage release |
|
Now if you`re bald, it'll give you hair |
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If you've got straight trousers, it'll give you flares |
|
Feeling up, you'll get depressed |
|
Out of style, here's a brand new dress, oh |
|
It was really vile weather |
|
When we got tarred and feathered |
|
You could hear the six-guns sound |
|
As they chased us out of town |
|
Who the hell is that? One bastard goes in, another one comes out! |
|
Turn him around! Turn around! |
|
Turn him around! Turn around! |
|
(Laughing) |
|
I'm innocent of anything! |
|
You making some kind of joke? |
|
Oh, no. |
|
(Laughing) |
|
I don't think it's nice, you laughing. |
|
The stuff we sell is just the best |
|
Passing all consumer tests, oh-ho |
|
Days of heaven, nights of sin |
|
Voodoo stick and shark's fin |
|
When all around you seems like hell |
|
Just one sip will make you well, oh-ho |
|
Multi-purpose in a jar |
|
If you ain't ill it'll fix your car |
|
In days of yore, for all bad feelings |
|
Washing socks and stripping ceilings |
|
Nowadays, it's used medicinally |
|
For all known human malady, oh |
|
It was really vile weather |
|
When we got tarred and feathered |
|
You could hear the six-guns sound |
|
As they chased us out of town |
|
Whoa-ho... |
|
Wanted in fourteen counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards and loaded dice. Therefore, according to the power invested in us, we sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez... |
|
...known as the Rat... |
|
...and any other aliases he might have, to hang by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on his soul. Proceed. |
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Duck, you sucker! |
|
(Gunfire) |
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I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges! |
|
(Gunfire & yelling) |
|
(Laughing to fade) |
